Heart of Dating

06/20/2023

03/08/2023

FORGIVENESS
Not just towards other people… there is no way to truly, deeply HEAL and step into full, thriving, GODLY, singleness.
This is such a challenging process and requires thoughtful prayer and COMMUNITY alongside you to support you in your forgiveness of SELF.

What do you need to forgive yourself for today??

03/01/2023

If you were looking for a sign of whether or not you’re wasting your time…this might be it 🫣

Your time is VALUABLE and PRECIOUS and youuuu hold the walk away power if they don’t honor and respect that. 🚨

Drop a 🔥 if you needed this sign today!!

02/16/2023

We may be past V-Day but as the heart shaped balloons and chocolates sit on sale and the feelings you may have around the season of love still linger- we were moved by this encouraging post from 🤍💌 give it a SWIPE!

01/06/2023

(not so) subtle reminder that you have walk away power in your dating life.

Drop a ⚠️ if you needed this sign!!

01/04/2023

A few years ago, I called my mom and jokingly told her,

“I am a male attention addict”.

Sadly, there was some truth to the joke. I was dating men for the wrong reasons. I wanted encouragement. I liked being pursued. When it came to finding a spouse, at times, I was more concerned about attention than finding someone who shared the same values as me. Any amount of attention had me feeling over the moon. I knew it was unhealthy.

Then I felt the Lord tell me to enter “closed singleness”. If you’ve never heard me talk about this, there are two types of singleness (this is a theory I made up to help you date better).

Closed singleness= an intentional period of time where you don’t date or consider love interests. Often this happens after a breakup. As for me, it was to heal my heart and stop a behavior that was hurting others.

Open singleness= when you’re putting yourself out there and actively/ openly dating people for the purpose of marriage.

So I took a pause on pursuing romantic love. I stopped flirting and saying yes to dates 🙈😬. And gosh, it was hard. I felt lonely and insecure because now men weren’t filling a need. But that need was created to be filled by Jesus.

I spent the following year healing my heart:
- I started therapy and dived into why I was dating for the wrong reasons.
- I took myself out on weekly dates.
- I made deep friendships.
- I journaled almost every day.
- I started practicing sabbath.
- I apologized to the men whom I had hurt.

After a year, I heard the Lord calling me to date people. But here’s the plot twist: I was now so comfortable on my own that I didn’t want to. Dating seemed scary. But dating became the more courageous thing- and I’m a big fan of choosing the most courageous option. So I took a leap of faith and went on three dates with three different people. And I really enjoyed myself.

Friend, I think you can enjoy dating too and I'd love to teach you how! In your singleness, God has amazing things in store.

If you’re curious about open vs closed singleness, join me as I teach a Masterclass inside The Singles Academy tomorrow at 5pm PST.

You can join us on a free trial when you visit heartofdating.com/tsa!!

12/30/2022

Which one are you taking into 2023?

Let us know in the comments below.

12/27/2022

TONIGHT!!

We are hosting a watch party and bringing back our first ever TSA masterclass titled Combatting Loneliness.

We have heard from SO many singles this Holiday season that it just feels HARD and more difficult than last year. So it is so important to us that we create a safe space tonight to work through this topic together, especially at this time of the year.

Come meet other HODC 2023 attendees and get poured into by Kait & JJ on this very relevant topic during the holidays. We just know it’s going to be so so GOOD!

Drop your favorite emojis if you'll be there!! See you TONIGHT!

12/19/2022

Jack and my love story wasn’t —> boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and get married.
Our love story was —> boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl is confused, girl rejects boy twice, boy is sad, girl is doubtful, girl realized she misses boy, girl likes boy, boy never stopped liking girl.

I don’t know if you picked up on that, but I rejected Jack… twice. 🙄

I felt so confused about whether we should date. Jack was the unexpected. He was so unlike any guy I had dated in the past. HMore kind and genuine than any other person. And yet still different from “the person” I imagined marrying in my mind. It took time for me to discover that I wanted to choose him as my husband and to hear that God wanted this choice too! And yet - despite my doubt- God made sure we ended up together.

Your doubt isn’t going to destroy your love story.

(Re-read that!)

I bless you with faith to trust God in doubt that arises in the unexpected. Sure, there will for sure be things you can expect about your future spouse (ie godliness, kindness, genuineness, etc). But then there are some things that are unexpected (ie his job, whether he’s introverted, the way he looks, etc). God is full of surprises and your spouse will have “surprise” attributes that complement you well. Remember, my friend, God knows you better than you know yourself.

It’s okay (and even healthy) to doubt whether the person you date is whom you’ll marry. So my dear one, give yourself permission to doubt.

Your doubt is evidence of how much you care about making a good decision. But be sure to bring your doubt first to God. Sit in your doubt. Ask your doubt questions. Journal and pray through it. And from this place, your faith with strengthen. My spiritual mentor says “doubt is faith on its way home”. Some of my most intimate, real conversations with Christ about Jack started with doubt.

Each love story is unique. Some people know at first glance, some know months later, and some (like me 🙋🏼‍♀️) change their minds multiple times- but God’s will still overcome my doubt. God’s plans are far bigger than your confusion and doubt!

-Riley Sewell

12/19/2022

You’re allowed to doubt love.

Jack and my love story wasn’t —> boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and get married.
Our love story was —> boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl is confused, girl rejects boy twice, boy is sad, girl is doubtful, girl realized she misses boy, girl likes boy, boy never stopped liking girl.

I don’t know if you picked up on that, but I rejected Jack… twice. 🙄

I felt so confused about whether we should date. Jack was the unexpected. He was so unlike any guy I had dated in the past. He was different, but good-different. More kind and genuine than any other person. And yet still different from “the person” I imagined marrying in my mind. It took time for me to discover that I wanted to choose him as my husband and to hear that God wanted this choice too! And yet - despite my doubt- God made sure we ended up together.

Your doubt isn’t going to destroy your love story.

(Re-read that!)

I bless you with faith to trust God in doubt that arises in the unexpected. Sure, there will for sure be things you can expect about your future spouse (ie godliness, kindness, genuineness, etc). But then there are some things that are unexpected (ie his job, whether he’s introverted, the way he looks, etc). God is full of surprises and your spouse will have “surprise” attributes that complement you well. Remember, my friend, God knows you better than you know yourself.

It’s okay (and even healthy) to doubt whether the person you date is whom you’ll marry. So my dear one, give yourself permission to doubt.

Your doubt is evidence of how much you care about making a good decision. But be sure to bring your doubt first to God. Sit in your doubt. Ask your doubt questions. Journal and pray through it. And from this place, your faith with strengthen. My spiritual mentor says “doubt is faith on its way home”. Some of my most intimate, real conversations with Christ about Jack started with doubt.

Each love story is unique. Some people know at first glance, some know months later, and some (like me 🙋🏼‍♀️) change their minds multiple times- but God’s will still overcome my doubt. God’s plans are far bigger than your confusion and doubt!

12/16/2022

Drop a 🔥 if you're using this response at your family holiday gatherings this year

12/14/2022

Your daily reminder that GOD’S GOT THIS!! Especially in your dating life!! Drop a 🔥if you agree!!

12/12/2022

NEW MERCH ALERT!!!!

Y'all we are PUMPED because HODC Merch is HERE! We have worked so hard on crafting the most fitting merch for conference this year and we can't wait for you to wear it!

You can order Pre-sale merch NOW!! Hurry and get yours before they are all gone!

When you order your merch NOW, you'll be able to have it shipped to you in January BEFORE HODC2023!! *shipping available in the US only*

Tag a friend you want to twin with! 👯‍♀️

12/09/2022

Hey bestie, we love you & we don’t know if your ex should be your next 😬

Drop a 💯 if you needed to see this today

12/07/2022

Read that again!!

Y’all sometimes it just takes saying YES to the person you’ve been overlooking. Go on the date. Get curious about the person and watch God MOVE!

12/02/2022

Drop a ❤️ if you’re not settling for anything less.

11/29/2022

Drop a 💯if you needed this reminder today!

11/18/2022

Drop a 👻 if you know this feeling a little too well.
RP