Neil Marks, Chasing the Dog.

30/07/2024

Today’s itinerary

30/07/2024

It might get a little cold tonight.
Speedway beanie to the rescue.
Lismore Speedway

29/07/2024

Ooops

29/07/2024

Thanks for the tip Richard
If you want a chat 0419284827.

28/07/2024

27/07/2024

And there he goes ( wifey post) ……

27/07/2024

Departure point.

26/07/2024

Have I forgotten anything?

25/07/2024

Chasing the Dog leaves from Lismore Speedway/Showgrounds 11am tomorrow.

23/07/2024

It’s almost time to go.

Thanks Alex and the team at NBN

A former broadcaster and Lismore councillor is about to embark on an incredible journey. Neil Marks

19/07/2024

One week to go.

07/07/2024

So, this time in three weeks I hope to be sitting in Mackay and chilling out with friends Al and Deb.
Yes it is getting that close that I now know where I hope to be after a couple of days on the road, one of them a big day.
The last couple of weeks have been full steam ahead and there is not much left on my list of things to do. I have even practised changing a tyre a new skill I hope I don’t have to use.
I have has a last visit to the doctor to get prescriptions organised, she thinks I am completely mad and suggested riding as far as Darwin and then coming home to relax. She has seen me through a lot over the years so I know she says these things because she cares.
Also, a last visit to the psychologist and I am not sure who is more excited about the trip her or me. However, I am a lot smarter to things and asked her to keep an I on me during the trip and call me if things seem a little off along the way.
It has been interesting the reactions of people who ask me about the trip. Some like my doctor think I am mad, others ask how many are going and when I say I’m going solo they to think I am mad but for two different reasons. One that I have no back up and the other is how can you not have someone for company “aren’t you afraid of being alone?”
Two valid reasons indeed to think I am mad but having no back up means I have to be self-reliant and have the confidence in my own decisions and abilities. Something that has been eaten away over the last few years. I need to learn to believe in myself.
The other about being alone is not a problem as I have never minded my own company but this time it will be a test to see how much I like myself. I guess that ties into the believing in myself thing as I mentioned before. If being alone does become an issue I will have to find people to talk to and relate to. That is one thing I have never been good at, just going up to someone and introducing myself. Talk to thousands of people on stage, no problem but one on one to a stranger has always brought on a feeling of anxiety. Time to learn how.
In some ways its all about learning to like myself again, because if I don’t like myself how can I expect others too.
Other things I have noted over the last couple of weeks is getting past the self-sabotage period.
Some may relate, that when you are planning things like this or any other thing in life you get to a point where you start leaving things to the last minute, or worse finding more things to do so it gives you an excuse to pullout of whatever it is. I could feel myself starting to do it but I have been working on this for a long time bit by bit that a look at my list reassured me that I was on track.
Anyone else do this sort of thing?
It really is a pain and a waste of mental energy.
There are people who would have no idea how much they have helped me get this far by simply believing in me.
Thank you for your belief that this is a good idea and that I can do it even when I start to doubt myself.

Send a message to learn more

29/06/2024

Four weeks today the adventure begins.

23/06/2024

This has been a weekend that has blown me away.

On Saturday morning whilst I was at work my phone kept pinging but we were to busy and I didn't have time to even look at it. to even look at it.

After I got home I finally checked and there was heaps of messages about the LismoreApp Interview I did earlier in the week, actually I had know idea when they were going to do something with it.

I hadn't read the story which was written of the back of a podcast interview I did with Simon from the App, so there I was reading all these messages complimenting me about things that I had said but had know idea how they had been written up. Maybe its just me but once I do something I don't think about it to much again.

After reading it I have to say that Simon did a fantastic job and by the comments I received it certainly had hit the spot.

Later that night I was the MC along with my fellow commentator Josh Boyd at the Lismore Speedway presentation night. It was a great night especially with the launch of the Wall of Fame and its first four inductees, Paul O'Neill, Bruce Maxwell. Dave Wilson and June Randall. All worthy inductees.

After the official part of the evening it was time to mingle and talk to some of those there who I don't see to talk to from my spot in the box.

Now I know I launched the Chasing the Dog trip at our last meeting but I had no idea how it had gone down let alone the reaction to the LismoreApp story. The conversations were amazing as people shared their own stories with me and others so supportive of what I am trying to do.

It was full of emotion from me and them as we spoke and I was absolutely floored by the support I received. It was definitely the most humbling moment in my life along with one of the most uplifting as well. To know what started out as a way to express my own story has turned out to be so welcomed and embrace by others who feel comfortable enough with me to share their own story.

It was definitely the message first and the trip second.

There were a few who were jealous to say the least about the trip.

Thank you to those who came up to share their stories and those who messaged me as you have touched me with your trust and I hope that we are all better off for that contact.

Let the conversation begin.

22/06/2024

For those trying to find the Go Fund me page. This was made by someone a lot cleverer than me.

22/06/2024

Great to have support from the LismoreApp.
Have a read and a listen to their Podcast.

Neil Marks is 'Chasing The Dog' around Australia for mental health. Read about Neil's six-week motorbike ride around our vast land to raise awareness in the Lismore App https://lismore.app.link/KEgoHT4uCKb and the Lismore App website www.lismoreapp.com.au.

17/06/2024

Things are starting to fall into place and I know there is still about 6 weeks to go but its nice to see things being ticked off the list.

This wouldn't happen if some people hadn't got behind me with support, so its time to say thanks to those who have come on board.

Lismore Motorcycles, Lismore Speedway, Link International, Pirelli, A1 Accessory Imports, Lismore Auto Electrics, Northern Rivers Su***de Prevention and Awareness Group, Jim’s Pool Care Brisbane and of course those who have donated through the Go-fund Me page.

You are all legends to have offered you help, time and expertise.

Thank you for your support.

16/06/2024

Part two of the stuff I will be carrying.

16/06/2024

Part one of the stuff I have to carry.

11/06/2024

Well that was a busy weekend.
Two nights of speedway to finish the season and the official launch of the chasing the dog trip.

I chose this weekend because of the AMCA's had their Fallen Memorial race which commemorates drivers and crew members who have passed over the last 12 months with a special emphasis on those lost to mental health issues.

It was inaugurated last year after the shock loss of driver and engine builder Kevin Everingham and will now continue on in his memory.

Thanks to Kim and Mick, the promoters for indulging and supporting me over the weekend.

The whole thing went better than I could ever have imagined with people listening to what I am trying to achieve and many coming up and telling me their stories. They like me cherish the fact that they are not going through it alone and there others out there willing to listen.

I would like to that Josh Boyd my fellow commentator for his professional and thoughtful questions whilst we were talking about this sometimes difficult subject.

To everyone who helped and shared their stories I thank you and we can make a difference one conversation at a time.

Here is a little video we put together for the weekend.

Video back later

06/06/2024

I work for some of the most wonderful and supportive people.

https://www.facebook.com/share/7DV5W1oC2Hb9cwGQ/?mibextid=WC7FNe

Hi my name is Neil and at the age of 61 I was diagnosed with depressi… Neil Marks needs your support for To change perceptions on depresion and mental health.

04/06/2024

Hi my name is Neil and at the age of 61 I was diagnosed with depressi… Neil Marks needs your support for To change perceptions on depresion and mental health.

27/05/2024

Last time I wrote something I said it had been a while since I last posted and I think this gap has been even longer, oooops.
Nothing exciting happening as like most people the plans keep getting messed up by the rain. Its frustrating to keep having to change plans and the kids not being able to play sports because of the ground closures, not much we can do about it though.
Trip planning still on the go after a couple of hiccups like testing how I want to record things while travelling only to find out my ancient GoPro has issues. So, I had to scout for another and found one on the Gold Coast that is newer and was at the right price. So, got that sorted and was telling one of my sons about it only to find out he has one I could borrow. I now have more cameras to play with.
I have been testing various editing programs to see what they do and how easy they are to use on the phone, because that will be all I will have to work with. Apparently you can teach an old dog new tricks.
Last week I found that my battery in the bike was dying and so had to get another one, more unplanned for expense. At least it didn’t happen in the middle of nowhere. Gotta look for the silver lining in things.
Still got a list as long as my arm to get through but I will get there.
As far as the head goes it has been pretty good over the last few weeks but last week there seemed a shift in things.
On Thursday I was sitting on the couch getting ready for work and this heavy feeling came over me and my mood changed for no reason. I could literally feel it pass over my body like as cloud passing over head with the shadow slowly covering my head, shoulders and then my whole body. It was very weird indeed.
Since then, my mood has been a little darker, not in a dangerous way, just heavier and a little less tolerant of those around me.
I am sure it will pass but it just showed me that for all the improvements this beast is still there waiting to remind me of its existence.
In this I have been ruminating, my psychologist loves this word, about things from the past which I used to do all the time but haven’t done for a while now. When it happens and I realise it I find myself saying out loud “just stop it” and take control of what’s happening in my head again.
Onward and upwards if I want to chase this dog away.

29/04/2024

Finally gotten around to putting some dates to the ride plan.

starting to feel real.

Around Oz 2024 for Mental Health.

The trip itinerary.
27/7 Lismore – Dakabin 243k
28/7 Dakabin – Rockhampton 604K
29/7 Rockhampton – Mackay 336k
30/7 Mackay – Cairns 733k
31/7 Rest Day
1/8 Cairns – Normanton 678k
2/8 Normanton – Doomadgee 323k
3/8 Doomadgee – Borroloola 476k
4/8 Borroloola – Larimah 483k
5/8 Larimah – Darwin 497k
9/8 Rest Day
10/8 Darwin – Timber Creek 603k
11/8 Timber Creek – Halls Creek 584k
12/8 Halls Creek – Broome 686k
13/8 Rest Day
14/8 Broome – Karratha 833k
15/8 Karratha – Canarvan 638k
16/8 Canarvan – Geraldton 478k
17/8 Geraldton – Perth 419k
18/8 Rest Day and bike service
19/8 Perth – Margaret River 270k
20/8 Rest Day
21/8 Rest Day
22/8 Margaret River – Ravensthorpe 669k
23/8 Ravensthorpe – Balladonia 609k
24/8 Balladonia – Yalata 783k
25/8 Yalata – Pt Lincoln 605k
26/8 Pt Lincoln – Adelaide 662k
27/8 Rest Day
28/8 Rest Day
29/8 Adelaide – Mt Gambier 476k
30/8 Mt Gambier – Geelong 463k
1/9 Geelong – Lakes Entrance 524k (Using Ferry to Bypass Melbourne) Just a thought.
2/9 Lakes Entrance – Wollongong 634k
3/9 Wollongong – Coffs Harbour 612k
4/9 Coffs Harbour – Lismore 238k

This itinerary leaves 4 days up my sleeve.

First day on the road Saturday July 27, 2024.

28 days on the road.

15,159k travelled.

Average daily travel 542k

Time away 42 days.

The fact that I will be free camping and self-sufficient means that I don’t have to stay in the town mentioned so flexible on the K’s travelled and if there are a couple of bigger days then I have more time to stop with friends and family along the way.

Yes I will be hitting them up for a hot and a cot along the way.

Personal highlights outside of the trip and seeing the people I haven’t seen for years is travelling the Savannah Way and the Gibb River Road.

29/04/2024

Doesn’t time fly when you get busy.
Last time I was here I did a video on the bike and going for a test run fully loaded, good news is all went well. There was no stress on the bike or the handling.

The last few weeks have been busy with work, speedway, family visits, trip planning and even socialising, something I do not do that often. As I explained before there is a fair bit of anxiety about going out in public.

I received a call from a friend I catch up with on occasion and he had read one of my posts about the stress of being out and about. We have some shared experiences in this area which I was unaware of. So, he suggested a get together over dinner to catch up.

It was a great night with good food and plenty of laughter, I like that bit, and talking about where we both were in life. It seems that over the last dozen or so years we have both been through the ringer in our lives and emotionally. It was great to compare notes as you come away from those conversations knowing you are not alone in the way you feel. Just talking about life and sharing stories really does help it seems. I do appreciate his reaching out and the openness of our conversations.

There has also been a visit to the psychologist who really noticed the change in me from the new medication regime. She also said that the changes in the medication would take about 6 to 8 weeks to settle in, that’s around about now.

Over the last few weeks, I have continued to be more energetic, have a more regular sleeping pattern and generally just feel better but there has been a plateauing of the improvement and I do find my mind wanders of to the dark side at times. I still find myself mulling over things that don’t really matter but I can pull myself out quickly.

I don’t stress about the past as much, but I do find myself mentally rehearsing for situations that do not come and preparing for arguments that I don’t have. Very much a waste of mental energy.

I used to work with someone who would come and tell you about something as soon as they arrived at work, however the conversation had started in their head when they were at about Clunes so by the time they were in Goonellabah and telling me they were more than halfway through the story. I was always confused and had to ask them to go back to the beginning for me so it would make sense.

They thought this was rude and that I had not been listening to them and that is usually where the conversation ended, and I was none the wiser. Frustrating for both of us but I now get the starting conversations in your head routine.

The other thing that hasn’t come back is motivation.

I now wake up early and with energy, but do you think I can motivate myself to get out and exercise? Nope, it just gives me more time to get ready and linger over the news and my coffee.

Getting that motivation back will be a big plus in moving forward through this journey to wellness.

13/04/2024

This will be my home for six weeks as I chase the dog.

Need practice on my video skills.

I’m not leaving until July so it’s just a practice run.

29/03/2024

Happy Easter everyone and even I get four days off, apart from two nights at the speedway but that’s not work.
Last time I wrote I was talking about the changes I have noticed since a change in medication and happy to report things are still improving two and a half weeks later.
Sleep better, mood better, energy up, engaging with the world more, laughing more, less craving for sweet foods (yes that is a positive) willpower up, exercise up and just generally lighter in the world.
Its not perfect but it’s a good start.
Like so many others I was knocked flat by the passing of Paul O’Neill and I have to admit to worrying about his funeral, it was huge. I made sure I was a part of the crowd and with others from the speedway, football and business world who were all leaning on each other for support.
It was good to see our community come together for someone who was such a big part of this town.
I still feel awkward and anxious when in a crowd and tend to take myself of to the edges for my own protection, but there I saw so many people I know that it was hard to do that and for that I am grateful.
Last weekend I was involved in something that is considered the second hardest and stressful thing to do, moving house, not mine but my son and his family in Brisbane.
Both the settling of the sale of his house and the purchase of the new one were at the same time on the Friday so we had to be organised to be out of one and into the other after 2pm.
We did it, and Friday afternoon was huge as we had to get the new place liveable so as their two-year-old had somewhere to come home too.
By the time I left on Sunday afternoon we were about 90% done with only the little things to sort out.
I was tired, my back was killing me, and I was looking forward to my own bed, but we had gotten through it without any arguments or too much stress and I was happy with that.
During the week I visited my GP to get some results of a sleep test I had taken a while ago and good news is I don’t have sleep apnoea, I just snore at times.
She had also received a letter from my psychiatrist and one thing in it I was so happy to hear and that was that he didn’t believe my depression was a permanent thing and with what I was doing there was a good chance I would not need medication permanently.
Good to know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not an oncoming train.

18/03/2024

Do you think I’m researching a little too much?

15/07/2023

As I have said in the past I get great enjoyment from mowing the community land around where I live. Since starting to do this there has been an increased number of people using it for picnics, dog play and with kids playing in a safe space.

Just what I hoped would happen.

To come home and find somebody has dumped weeds all over the place is extremely disappointing.

I’m sure the local landcare group would be disappointed too.