Crooked Christian

If you take this out of context, and judge my words or me prematurely, you might assume you know what I mean by that. It could come across as sweet or smug depending or your upbringing, temperament, or current mood. It could be uplifting wisdom to you, but it may sound ridiculous, nonsensical or even self-contradictory to the next reader. Letters and words are inert in and of them themselves, and

most of human experience is inexpressible through our limited human languages anyway. Does that mean our tongues should just stay still? Lewis might say, "We dare not be silent." Again, the fact I alluded to C.S. Lewis might lead you to assume something. The purpose of this introduction is to relay my need to be free from worrying about people's presumptions when composing. I’m asking for some leniency and leeway up front, and I promise extra humility in return. I ask my readers to avoid assumptions, save three: #1 I assume that most people’s Sacred Scriptures desire “PEACE,” that #2 I believe God is “LOVE,” and #3 that I believe Jesus operated in love and so I’m compelled to mimic what I believe was that compassionate & loving approach. Otherwise, your lens might focus narrowly on one word, one quip, and one part of one story, which might look weird or ugly when isolated. If that occurs, try the R.A.W.N.G technique: Read Again With New Goggles. Holy Scribbles? Some authors believe some collections of human symbols (words) can be holy or divine; and this to a widely varying degree. This inevitably makes these words, these empty shells, these dead collections of inert scribbles, much fuller, much more alive, and rightly so. Hence, within what people like to call “organized religion,” it is always implicit, and often explicit, that certain bodies of text are divine in and of themselves; and divine can even mean "perfect" and "infallible" to some. Many see this fact as a problem, for now these dead symbols cause living conflict. The word "infallible" itself angers some people. Because someone else’s holier-than-thou words are trying to govern your decisions; trampling on your liberty, your freedom to do anything and everything you want, any time, right now. People, like dogs or other animals, love to be free from external restraint, and seemingly more so if a physically yoke is involved. A young, untrained puppy's leash is always taught. Only through conditioning can it learn to be wary of fast moving cars and other dangerous situations. A leash keeps a dog alive. But we’re not dogs. Humans have amazing abilities and memories. We learn to override acting on desires by considering future consequences and we make inferences to solve equations. We even contemplate that which is unquantifiable and audaciously analyze the QUALITY of things. We haughtily decide whether things are "good" or "bad." It seems human beings are unique in the animal kingdom because we all possess a puzzling intrinsic "morality." I measure things by quantity and quality. I love science. When I was younger I wanted to be an astronomer, and I still harbor fantasies of going to outer space in my lifetime. I also love religion. To me God = a mystery. And don't we love to try and gauge the ineffable, to "knock on the ceiling" so to speak? Somewhere along the line, I chose to believe some words were/are divinely inspired, even if they were written in a flawed human language. I have chosen to resurrect and make alive what might otherwise be dead. "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!" (-from the Wizard of Oz)
It seems to me, not just optimism, but sheer obviousness should lead most intelligent persons to at least consider believing in a Creator; after all they are a "creature" which currently exists. We creatures are also creators. It seems that life is way too beautiful, amazing and quirky for me not to realize that something creative must be going on behind the scenes. If reality itself could be boiled down to the simple metaphor of a TV screen that we "watch" the world through, it’s easy (& logical) for me to imagine gargantuan amounts of work that must go into the “broadcast” humans witness. I realize complex operations are not merely hidden, but also incomprehensible to me. In a sense, time is also relative, as all those ‘efforts’ are compressed into a short bite-sized ‘program’ I can hopefully understand, and enjoy. False images? Since the Creator created me with a brain that can comprehend allegory, syllogisms, and solve equations like "if A = B, then..." I also believe I’m obliged to use that capacity to gauge things, & equate things. I am SUPPOSED to form images & ideas about my Creator -- even if its a slow, tedious, whittling down process of elimination. Michael Himes might say: “It’s easier to talk about what God ISN'T than what God IS. ‘Form no false images’ is the 4th commandment. Now this could mean, quite literally, don't build and worship a physical golden calf, but it means more than that – it means: "Don't go throwing the word God around like you know what you're talking about!"

Lazy Literalism & Legalism? I'm getting to the point -- here's where the rubber meets the road: Because words like "divine" are used as synonyms to "flawless" or "infallible," some people invariably will try to interpret their Holy texts as LEGALLY or LITERALLY as possible. I rebel against that notion. Because your Holy texts could be reduced to, as Rabbi Harold Schulweis says, "a dry, desiccated manuscript thrown down from above to be accepted indolently." This idea is sold to so many under the guise of humility, for usually the believer believes it to be a good thing to leave his puny, flawed intellect out of God's unilateral authority. It’s quite a persuasive point to always keep in mind actually. But in that approach ALONE, I see fundamental ugliness. Your relationship to your sacred text just became one of master and slave. "You're going to the text and saying 'Load me on' and 'I don't want to do much work,' ...but you'll be disappointed... the text is too honorable to cater to lazy readers." - Khaled Abu Al Fadl (Law professor/Muslim scholar)

Beautiful or ugly? Creation is beautiful to me. God created this beautiful world full of His holy creations. I feel most discord between religions and denominations are a result of silly semantics and language laziness. But even amongst this smashed Tower of Babel, some Creator puts together YOU and ME to get to know one another, in a real, concrete, personal, and perhaps heavenly way. Knowing is related to loving, because that knowledge can lead to love. Ugliness to me is the undoing of creation. In my tradition, God = Relationship and the UNITY of that "coming together." If God created my amazing brain, AND my amazing heart, AND these divine words, and they get married in this "relationship;" for one of those things to dominate the other (i.e. if the text cancels out the intellect, or the intellect voids the true meaning of the text) seems to me an act of destructiveness that is anything but beautiful. The violent separation of heart & mind is ugly to me. Fundamentalists often try to relay ugly religion. I squash it wherever I see it. I cannot believe "GOD HATES _____" because with a bit of thought, inference, context, and cross-reference I easily realize God as fundamentally devoid of hate. God saves no space for hatred. God is full, & not lacking anything. Hate is emptiness; that vacuum that only sucks. Optimism? I try to stick with optimism when dealing with my religiousness because many have died in attempt to pass on these supposedly "inert" words. Many of those innocent folks merely wanted to be free enough to tell other that God is love. This optimism is not silly or unfounded – it is written in blood. I assume God loves me. Is that arrogant or blind? I think He wants me to trust Him after my own research. How do I know? I feel it because wrestle with Him. A lot. I start by reading between the lines. If I were an author, and that author was God, and someone read my divinely inspired book(s) full of poetry and parables with a lazy, literal slavishness, I'd be utterly disappointed. Seriously, even as a regular human author, if I wrote a creative epic, and someone read it like it was an almanac, I'd probably be offended. Full disclosure now: my dad was a priest and my mom was a nun. I assume you might imagine a rim shot after that sentence. Maybe you laughed. Perhaps, you gasped. You might now presume I am some kind of prophet, or at least mildly enlightened. You might automatically be wary of everything I said now, as if I'm a spawn of Satan. Maybe you will now read between the lines more. I can only speculate the change you just went through. “Change of mind” in Greek is “METANOIA,” which is the word translated as “repent” in English. The world is broken, and everyone struggles to communicate within this fractured reality. Everyone defines his or her own language amidst a uniquely cracked pane. Everyone see's God individually and God speaks to each soul individually, but there is no "immaculate perception." So we have to ask each other "What did you see?"

I am a member of the Catholic Church, or as a Lutheran friend affectionately calls it "The Big Tent." Many of us Catholics see it as the BEST "way," but not the "ONLY" way. We believe the Bible is divinely inspired, but not to be taken literally. Unlike fundamentalist Christians, we are totally cool with reading between the lines, but also know we should ask wiser people. "I know two things: #1: God exists. #2: I'm not Him." - My dad. All this blabbing about religious words is meant to diffuse our problems with each other’s language. We should check our assumptions at the door, and be mindful of syntax and context if we're to avoid conflict. If I'm standing on a construction zone and talking about a "CAT," everyone knows I'm not talking about some furry four-legged animal. Use caution and common sense before giving in to knee-jerk reactions. Word derivations don't always convey the meaning of the word. Herein lies the problem of those interpreting the Bible unilaterally, without talking to those who are wiser -- those people who have already wrestled & studied for many years. For instance, the word "ecclesia" in Greek is literally translated as "called-out." Any Christian might easily misinterpret that in two dreadfully sanctimonious ways. Take your pick…

Either the divisive, dichotomizing option A:

“We are the ‘called-out’ ones, and therefore the rest of you are damned to hell and not welcome in our church because it is an exclusive clubhouse…"

…or the lazy option B:

"Since I know I'm one of those “called,” I don't have to attend church with others, because we are the “called out ones,” wherever we are. Therefore, I also don’t need to work at the spiritual education of my children, because if God has them in His sights, He’ll get them, and I don’t have to worry." Sorry. R.A.W.N.G. Ecclesia has nothing to do with EITHER of those ideas. If you go to the New Testament where Paul is about to be attacked by a mob, the violent assembly is also called an "ecclesia." In conclusion, the CALLING of God is to GET TOGETHER! To ASSEMBLE! To UNITE! To CELEBRATE life, each other, the beauty of the world, and the FACT that anything exists at all! But most importantly, we are the instruments of His calling. What will your instrument sound like? A triumphant trumpet? Or a clanging cymbal? "The kingdom of God is like... a wedding..." -Jesus

Finally, to be Christian is NOT to be perfect, but to strive for it. Yes you are sinful by nature, meaning “immature” or “incomplete.” Yes, your active sins, keep you from fully participating in the wedding banquet because your clothes are not clean. But there are easy daily solutions. Take a bath. Change your clothes. Bring a gift to the party. Bring a friend. And please try to avoid some famously misunderstood notions of “Catholic guilt,” because, as my dad would say:

"God can draw straight lines with crooked pencils."