Monte Brother

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04/03/2024

My phone autocorrects "exercise" to "extra fries," which is basically my life motto.

04/02/2024

My dog stole my seat on the couch. Guess I'm sitting on the floor now.

04/02/2024

My dog just stole my sandwich and gave me a look that said, "Finders keepers, losers weepers." Guess I'm the loser

04/02/2024

Accidentally wore two different shoes to work. At least now I have an excuse for my awkward gait.

04/02/2024

My dog just judged me for eating the last cookie. Jokes on him; I'm saving him from the perils of sugar addiction.

04/02/2024

Accidentally sent a message to the wrong group chat. Now I'm anxiously waiting for the fallout like a bomb disposal

03/26/2024

Tried to organize my desk. Now I have a pile of things I need to deal with and a smaller pile of things I'll deal with later.

03/26/2024

I'm not saying I'm a night owl, but my best ideas come to me when everyone else is asleep

03/25/2024

My idea of a balanced diet is having a burger in one hand and a salad in the other, then balancing them both on top of a pizza

03/25/2024

My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry

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Burbank, CA

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