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The Diplomat Next Door

Melissa on a mission for media literacy, democracy and good governance while living life loudly in t
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10/07/2024

Here’s the deal: I’m starting to think more and more it isn’t a question of fact-checking. It’s a question of feelings-processing.

always says “facts don’t care about your feelings.” But I’m learning that feelings rarely care about the facts.

So, how is your heart? ❤️ I hope you know it’s safe here.

10/02/2024

My thoughts on the .

08/28/2024

If you know me, you know I’m a fan of reality TV - especially matchmaking reality TV.🌹It never fails: at some point along the “journey of love” these couples take, they find themselves on a beach in Mexico, testing the enduring power of their fledgling love.

And while it may seem all sun and sand, fun and guacamole, for most, it almost always turns out to be too much pressure for their relationship. And you’ll hear me in the background, nachos in hand, Disney PJs on, yelling, “If you can’t make it in Mexico, you can’t make it anywhere! Just quit while you’re ahead!”

Stephen and I took our vows 14 years ago today - and took a honeymoon to Mexico the very next day. While there were no helicopter tours or rose ceremonies, there was plenty of guacamole (and a catamaran!). 🥑🤩 Mostly, there was the simple bliss of being with my best friend.

Because loving Stephen Carter is easy.

It’s life that can be hard.

We didn’t know the life-changing diagnoses, finances, job changes, and global crises waiting. We’ve been pushed and pulled on nearly every side. I’ve looked around many times and thought, “I never knew it could be this hard. Is there something on the other side of this?”

I don’t have many answers but I know that we have Mexico. Yes, the physical place and the memories there. But, more so, the truth that there’s “a there there.” There’s a safe space of two friends who love one another more than anything. Who, when they can hear each other over the storms, find the most joy and comfort and fun just being together. And that little (avocado) seed is sturdy enough to meet each day. Day-by-day.

To 14, 40, many more…. 🌹🥑❤️

07/31/2024

Today was a great day. It was one of those days that gives you the courage to keep going, keep reaching, keep BELIEVING in the power of a bigger “We.” Thankful to live my passion and purpose everyday at Walmart. Thankful for leaders like and those on Walmart’s Belonging Team who are dreaming big. ✨❤️

07/14/2024

As we navigate the next few months and the increasing narratives of polarization and distrust, we can focus on the 10-20% of Americans who believe violence may be necessary or more guns make us safer.

Or, we can focus on the overwhelming majority of the rest of us - our neighbors, people within our own parties AND THOSE ACROSS THE AISLE, who absolutely do not. We can spend our time connecting with our neighbors, uplifting positive behavior and showing up civically as voters - even candidates.

I don’t know much, but I’ve been around long enough to know that raging into online echo chambers rarely (never) produces peace. It feels good momentarily but is entirely ineffective at moving us toward wholeness and justice. You know what does? Showing up day after day after day outside of the headlines, the inflection points and the crises to engage.

And playing the long, hard, boring, brutal game of loving our enemies.

I’ve been hosting online gathering spaces to bring people of differing viewpoints together to discuss and understand public policy for over 8 years.

When I’m not engaging in this free, unpaid service to the community, I work on these issues professionally, full-time in my job - studying and even funding research on social cohesion.

I’m also a former U.S. diplomat, who has lived across the United States and in multiple other countries, a linguistic who speaks three languages, a historian and, most of all, someone who has never failed to be surprised by my own capacity for division and hatred as well as the incredible goodness, generosity and thoughtfulness of my fellow Americans. It’s what keeps me humble - and what keeps me going.

You’re invited.

07/14/2024

Lord, help us. Lord, heal us. Give us courage.

07/04/2024

Taking courage in the words of those who have gone before. Allowing their faith in the hope of this nation to inspire my own. Do you know from where the words “proud yet never satisfied” originated” as well as those below?

“With this faith, we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.”

07/02/2024

See my latest reel for more information. Sign and SHARE.

06/24/2024

Such wise words shared from the pulpit this AM. What have you given your attention to online this weekend? Were those influences worthy of that attention? Was there anything *offline* also (or more?) worthy? No judgment. Just noticing. Tomorrow is a fresh start. ✨

06/22/2024

A morning well-spent learning from and faith leaders in our community and beyond on how we can begin to approach one another in good faith. Here’s just some of what I learned:

— We must unpack the stories we tell ourselves about “the other.”

— God is at work everywhere - even in the places and within the groups YOU might deem godless. Be careful how you limit Him and indict yourself in the process.

— If we expect to be mistreated, we are likely to mistreat.

— We aren’t responsible for every person and every point of view. Where can you open yourself up to just ONE person new?

— Biblical hospitality isn’t (only) a beautifully set table it’s welcoming and honoring difference.

What are the stories YOU are hearing this year about “the other?” Is there a different story you could tell yourself - and others?

06/13/2024

I’ve heard a lot of big talk in recent years about . Almost every “group” I know is out there in one way or another. But, that’s the irony, isn’t it? If you are a part of a BIG band of folks and ...then, aren’t you... actually... just ? To your group? Going along with the crowd... this new crowd of “NOW-conformists?”

One of the things I’m learning in my work is how INSANELY difficult it is to be something called an “in-group moderate.” Someone humble, brave, curious and COURAGEOUS enough to stand up - not to the enemy, no! - but to their own side. Those folks who can talk to their own friends, their own church, their own party, their own band of brothers, their own side of the picket line about where THAT group - THEIR group - may be wrong are the TRUE nonconformists.

And those are the folks I’m finding out are the truly radical ones. Because it’s lonely out there. It’s lonely when you are not just rejected by the other side, but when you risk rejection by your own side.

But, out there in the no-man’s land of true, deep curiosity, of unwavering hope, of staying engaged when it’s easier to check out - that’s where transformation happens. On behalf of us all.

So, if and when you are brave enough to question the folks who everyday pat you on your back, then - and only then - MIGHT you actually earn the right to call yourself a .

07/04/2023

How do we find love in the midst of pain, injustice, division and exclusion?

What if we believed it was the only path towards true redemption?

Celebration on this day is a choice. But, love, I believe, is the only answer.

06/02/2023

In times like these, Pride couldn’t be more important and necessary. Proud to call many members of the LGBTQ+ community “friend.” Burdened and broken for the challenges that lay ahead. Determined and inspired by the progress that has been made. Spurred on by my faith - never in spite of it. 🌈

Credit to for the last sentence on slide 2. Will share more on that in my stories.

05/22/2023

About the debt ceiling… which is really about . We voted for these fools. We allowed this extremism. We are these extremists. We don’t read the news. We are conflating the debt ceiling with the national debt. We LOVE the smooth feeling of a sound bite on the backs of our throats. So, let’s WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER. Starting with engaging our neighbors. Voting in our primaries. Reading boring news. Rewarding people who work across the aisle instead of crucifying them for it.

05/09/2023

Prayer + action is a mighty combination. Here’s a guide to the ACTION part today.

“If you say to that person, God be with you! ….. but you do not give what that person needs, your words are worth nothing.” James 2:15-16

05/02/2023

If I’m honest, between full-time work, motherhood, IEP meetings, revolving doors of sickness, the administrating of daily life and participating with any measure of hope and optimism in our democratic processes, there’s not been a lot of time and opportunity for fun and friendship. And this past weekend, there was a lot of fun and friendship.

And it has made ALL THE DIFFERENCE.

The hard is still hard. The unknowns are still unknown but feeling *known* just changes things. Laughter changes things.

Here’s what I also know: sometimes finding the friends, finding the laughter, finding the community feels like the hard and can feel like one of the biggest unknowns. So, allow me to be the friend who says to you - YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THAT.

I don’t have many perfect answers. There have been seasons of plenty for me in that and PLENTY of seasons of want.

So, maybe we could take a moment and see one another in whatever season we find ourselves in. Maybe we could take a moment and share some encouragement.

➡️ How do you find and maintain healthy friendships in adulthood?

➡️ How do you build in rhythms that allow for connection?

➡️ Who is in need of in-person community? Where are you located? How can we support one another in making some new connections?

04/17/2023

They have been endowed by their Creator with an inalienable right: the Right to Life. It is a supreme right that cannot and will not be infringed upon by any other right dreamt up, written down and then erroneously interpreted by men. Ready to

04/10/2023

Whose towns will be spared? And whose won’t?

04/07/2023

I don’t have any better words than these in the wake of the death, injustices and pain that have marked the past several weeks in this country. They are my prayer for me, for you, for us.

I have written in my bio and cling often to the identity of being “persistent in hope.” I wonder how hopeful I would have been on that Friday a few thousand years ago when it all seemed so stark and lost. Then I remember that birth often feels like death. That newness of life is typically preceded by blood, groans and immeasurable pain.

May whatever groans we face today - whatever prayers of pain - be received by our souls as hope for tomorrow, if not for today.

04/03/2023

Exactly one week out from the Nashville shootings, it’s time for COMMON SENSE legislation around guns - particularly in our schools - not backwards, radical expansion of gun rights. 80% of Americans want us to come together on this issue and ALL Americans want our children to come home safely at the end of each day. Why are we doing this, Arkansas? Literally shooting ourselves in the foot - if not straight through heart. We rank #4 in the nation for death rate by guns - this is INEXPLICABLE.

03/31/2023

This movement will require energy and focus.

But hear me now: if you don’t have it today - FREEDOM. Rest. Peace. There will be another day.

If you’ve got one more text or call in you, today would be a good day to say “I’m paying attention and I’ll be showing up everyday all the way until the ballot box.”

03/29/2023

Thinking about you/us is what has helped me today. We are not alone. We will spur one another on to lasting change. There can be no other way.

03/27/2023

As I sit in the school pickup line, heart racing, thankful that today wasn’t *their* day but always trembling, fearful that in this country, tomorrow could be. As I grieve, groan and cry out for the families for whom today it was.

03/22/2023

Another incredible op-ed in the by on featuring a landmark piece of research called the . More to come on this. For now, take a look at this piece which I’m linking in my bio.

03/17/2023

I was incredibly impacted by ’s recent opinion piece in the and wanted to share a few quotes with you all. I’d encourage you to take a look at the complete article which I’ll be linking in my bio. It stems for a pivotal experience at a staple of Americana culture and life: a Friday night football game.

Now for a moment of curiosity and honesty - because I know WE can here . Where is YOUR opportunity for growth when it comes to holding the all-important tension of pride and reckoning? Are you all or mostly pride? Or all (or mostly) reckoning? What holds you back from developing a more nuanced view towards our nation? If you’re feeling brave, would you share in the comments below? As always, kindness and curiosity and humility and love toward others and ourselves. 🫶

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