25/07/2023
*AN ACCOUNT OF THE REIGN OF KING TINUBU*
*The Book of Lamentations of Nigerians*
*Chapter 1*
1. After eight seasons of tribulation, Muhammadu, the son of Buhari ceased to reign as king of the land, Nigeria. For Bandits and Kidnappers have holdeth everyone to ransom.
2. And the people sayeth one unto another, shall we stay here and die while our land lay in ruins.
3. Then they said 'let us find among us a just man to lead us or we perish, for our land is desolate'.
4. Then cometh Atiku, the son of Abubakar who sayeth unto the people 'All ye children of our forefathers, choose ye me as thine leader for I am upright, just and Atikulate.
5. Atiku is a great Marchant who seeketh to rule over the people for the fifth time.
6. Then cometh the great trader from the East, even Peter the son of Obi crying in he wilderness saying, seeieth not thou how the land layest in ruins?
7. Shall we fold our arms and let thieves and robbers hold sway in our land?
8. O ye sons of anarchy, shall we not move from consumption to production? for _Obidience_ _is better than sacrifice_ and the labour of our forefathers must not be in vain.
9. Then arose Bola the great grand son of Tinubu, for he is well known in all the Kingdoms in the West.
10. And sayeth he unto the people, _Emi Lokร n,_ for it is my turn to rule over the great Kingdom. Then speaketh he also in unknown tongues to the people saying ' _a town hall different from balablu, blublu, bulaba_ ' and the people, young and old maketh mockery of him.
11. Then the people murmur amongst themselves saying, howbeit, the gods have smitten this one with a strange illness, for he is feeble and may stumble and fall leaving us in disarray for our enemies to laugh and smite us.
12. Then arose also the great scribe, Omoyele the son of Sowore crying in the wilderness with a loud voice saying, _Revolution Now!_ . For he became furious as the multitude ignored him saying, give us Peter the son of Obi or we die.
*Chapter 2. The Election*
1. On the 25th day of the Second Month of the year of our Lord, even 2023, the multitude from every nation and tribe trooped out saying, this is the day that the lord has made, for we shall choose for ourselves a King, who shall rule us with great compassion.
2. And their sons and daughters burst into Psalms and Hymns saying: _Freedom is coming, tomorrow!_ as it was even in the land of the great King of the South, Mandela!
3. But while sons of men slept, Yakubu the son of Mahmood, overseer of INEC, he also a great scribe sayeth unto the people, Behold, I declare Bola, the son of Tinubu as your new ruler!
4. Then the people were vex in their spirits, for there was no jubilation in the land, howbeit standeth we on this mandate?
5. And on the 29th day of the 5th month, as was prophesied by the fake Prophets, even fake Bishops, Bola the son of Ahmed the son of Tinubu began to reign over the land.
6. And he cried with a loud voice ' _subsidy is gone_ ' for we shall no longer pay thieves and robbers while our people suffer in desolation!
7. But the people continue to groan in hardship, for a jar of oil is now 560 pieces of silver and only the sons of the mighty can buy while the rest wallow in great hunger, even more than the one who came before him, even Muhammadu the son of Buhari.
8. Then proclaim Bola the son of Tinubu unto the people, rejoice and be glad! I shall give eight thousand pieces of silver to 12 million households in the land for six months, for I have seen thy suffering!
9. But the people having seen his folly sayeth unto Tinubu, thou art wise in thine own eyes, but we see thy folly!
10. Whinest not thou us! Because neither the poor nor the weak shall see a piece of silver, for the thieves and robbers shall use it to build treasure unto themselves.
11. Then behold, the jar of oil ariseth from 560 pieces of silver to 700 pieces of silver and the son of men started their lamentations looking up to the hills from whence will their help come?
Selah!
