The Brand Experts - KENYA

20/07/2023

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28/02/2023

There are certain things in life that you just have to accept—your height, for
instance, or the family you’re born into. And, yes, the length of your legs or the
width of your hips.

But the thing is, as women, we are constantly taught the
opposite. We’re given this message that we can alter every single aspect of our
faces and bodies, and we’re encouraged to do so to try to achieve this ideal of
what a woman is “supposed” to look like. You’re expected to fix yourself. To dye
your hair, or get eyelash extensions, or change the tone of your skin, or the shape
of your nose, or the size of your breasts. There is so much fixing.

So, as women, we’ve got to be pretty damn amazing to realize early on that
physical perfection is neither achievable nor useful, and that all that fixing can
be toxic.

I learned that lesson the hard way myself. From a very early age, I was told
that my body was not perfect.. But no matter what I did or how much I starved myself, my proportions
were the same. My hips were always going to be wider than my shoulders. My
legs were always going to be the shape I was born with. If only I had made peace
with that by twenty-five, my energy would have been put into much more
worthwhile things.

I was thirty when I decided I needed to recover from my eating disorder. I
think by the time you’re thirty, you’ve started to get this awareness—at least I
had—that you may have been taught the wrong things.

I was looking back at
how I had lived my twenties, and I realized that what I was doing wasn’t
working, that I didn’t want to live like that for the rest of my life. I knew that
there was a better way of living, because I looked at people who weren’t
obsessed with their bodies like I was, and they seemed a lot happier, calmer,
more peaceful.

They didn’t spend every waking minute thinking of ways to work
off every single calorie they ate. They had lives. It was a turning point for me. I
had to surrender to the fact that I really wasn’t as in control as I’d thought I was.

That I’d hit a dead end. I remember thinking, God, I don’t want to be this
miserable anymore.

I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, but I know I’ll never get that decade
back—all the time spent weighing myself and not being able to hang out with
my friends because I was fixated on changing myself.

We’re all made differently: our families, our frames, our personalities and talents.
Appreciate how you were made, and stay on your mat. That’s where happiness
lies.

15/02/2023

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE live their entire lives on default settings, never realizing they can customize everything. Don’t be one of them.

Don’t settle for the default settings in life.
Dare to make edits and improvements. Dare to make your personal growth a top priority.

The truth is, you won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you need to be a priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Your needs matter. Start meeting them!

Don’t wait on others to choose you. Choose yourself today!
Seriously, it’s not your job to curb or contain yourself in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are amazingly worthwhile and capable right now. Not because other people think you are, but because you are in full control of the next step you take.

If you feel differently, or if you’ve been holding yourself back recently, realize that the real battle is in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around. You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but you are not broken. So don’t let your mind, or anyone else, try to convince you otherwise.

Heal yourself, and grow beyond the default settings in life, by refusing to settle for the way things have always been. Choose to take up a lot of positive space in your own life today. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings
and emotions. Choose to make self-care and personal growth top priorities . . .

Choose to think better about yourself, so that you can live better in spite of the challenges you face.
And yes, we know that’s sometimes much easier said than done. Making positive changes takes guidance and practice. But its doable!!

07/02/2023

31/01/2023

We’re an incredibly infidelious nation.

I wish this weren’t the uncomfortable truth, but it is. We
cheat on each other. We lie to each other. We have endless
options available to us these days, literally at the tip of our fingers — a simple “Swipe left” or “Swipe right” gets us what we
crave almost effortlessly.

We have infinite possibilities available to us and yet we still crave companionship. We want love.

We want togetherness. We want trust, but it’s getting harder
and harder to come by.

Trust doesn’t come easy anymore.

Especially not to those who’ve been cheated on, lied to or maltreated in the past. Each new relationship presents a challenge: Do you trust them or do you shy away? Do you guard yourself or do you give in?

Do you invest your full heart or do you tread as lightly as possible
— easing into every relationship with minimum investment
until you are as certain as you can be that they’re not going to
let you down?

The risk of letting our guard down seems insurmountable
at times.

We work hard to build up lives that we’re proud of:
jobs we’re happy with, homes we cherish, friends and families
who surround us with love.

The possibility of inviting another person in to share in all of that, without the guarantee that it’s going to work out, can be paralyzing.

How do we know they won’t turn on us? How do we know it’ll work out?

And the truth is, we don’t.

Whether or not we can trust someone will always be a tough bet to wager. But it’s also a futile guessing game. And it’s one that can destroy your entire relationship before it even begins.

The truth is, we’re all capable of infidelity. We’re all capable
of monogamy.

There is no genetic code, no telltale sign, no
one situation that guarantees infidelity or faithfulness.

There are influencing factors, of course. There are predispositions
based on gender or personality, arguably.

But there is no certain way to predict whether or not the person you’re about to fall head over heels for is going to be faithful to you.

There just isn’t. That’s the truth.

And so where does that leave us?

We can calculate our odds straight to hell and back — listing positive traits on one hand and suspicious behaviors on another.

We can sneak peeks at their cell phone, do investigative work on their track history and slip subtle questions into conversation. All ideal first and second date activities. But at the end of the day, we’ll never find the answers we’re searching for. We’ll never be capable of predicting the future.

Getting lied to, being betrayed, getting cheated on are always going to be risks we are taking when we enter into a new relationship.

We don’t always get the answers that we want about the
future but if we’re living our lives right we don’t need them.

Because at the end of the day, trust has nothing to do with
the person you’re dating.

It isn’t a magical feeling that springs into existence when someone passes our theoretical tests and says all the right things at all the right times.

Trust is a decision. Trust is the waking, conscious choice to invest in another human being because you know that even if they betray you,you’ll be okay.

Whether or not we can trust someone always comes back to
how we feel about ourselves — it’s a reflection of what we feel
capable of dealing with.

Trust doesn’t mean, “I know you’ll never hurt me.” It means, “I trust myself to deal with the fallout if you do.”

Trying to predict the future is maddening at best and relationship-destroying at worst. Any potential relationship runs the risk of failing. Of collapsing. Of leaving us high and dry after we invested ourselves in someone who stopped choosing us back. But when it comes to trust, here are the only questions you really need to ask:

Can you trust yourself? If it all goes to hell, can you pick
yourself up off the floor and start again? Are you strong
enough?

Are you capable of dealing with the fallout?

If the answer is no, now might not be the best time to consider a relationship.

And if the answer is yes, you have nothing to worry about
at all.

30/01/2023

(𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒐 𝒉𝒖𝒓𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒅𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝒈𝒐.)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 — 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐝.
𝐍𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 – 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟
𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲
𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐲 𝐣𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝
𝐜𝐢𝐫𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬.

𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐠𝐢𝐚 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐮𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐰𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐬, 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬,𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐬.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 — 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞
𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭; 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞
𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡
𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨
𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐨𝐟, 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞
𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐞 — 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞
𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞.

𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰
𝐮𝐩. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝
𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭
𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.

𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨
𝐟𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞,
𝐚 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤, 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐝
𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐨
𝐢𝐭.

𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞
𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬, 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐰𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐝, 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤.

𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. 𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞
𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐞
𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬
𝐰𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞.

𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞
𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢𝐳𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭, 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡
𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐢𝐧
𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐬𝐨
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬.

𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝, 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬.

27/01/2023

First of all: Good morning, beautiful.

Is it too late to say that? I know you’ve probably been awake a while — likely hours or even all day.

I know you may have gone this whole time without hearing it — shrugging back to friends and family who asked you how you’re doing with a non-committal “Fine” because that is what we’re meant to do as humans – answer meaningful questions with arbitrary phrases.

I know that you may not be fine. I know you may have had a lacklustre day. And I know that something as incredibly mundane as a “Good morning” text may have made all the difference in the world. It’s okay if that’s the case. It’s okay to sometimes ache for those simple and kind-hearted gestures.

Because the truth is that good morning texts are more than a half-hearted means of communication. They are a sign that we are thought of. Cared for. Adored, by someone who may not be immediately present.

They are a reminder — one we perhaps should not need but sometimes do — that we are appreciated in our entireties.

So if you did not get one this morning, here is what I want you to know:

You deserve to have a good day today. Not because of some universal law that necessitates good things happening to worthwhile people, but because we all do.

We all deserve to have a beautiful morning and a correspondingly fantastic day, regardless of who loves us or appreciates us or thinks of us first thing when they wake up in the AM.

Just because some one is not around to appreciate the complexities of who you are does not mean that you deserve anything less than pure joy. And in case there’s no one else to remind you, here is what else I want you to know:

There’s a particular way you laugh that can make an entire room light up, if only for a moment in time. There is a way you tilt your head when you are concentrating that makes you look unbearably kissable — as if you were placed on this earth only to stare at things and frown in the most endearing form humanely possible.

There is a noise you make when you are falling asleep — a soft, almost inaudible sigh that sounds like the ethereal embodiment of all that is tranquil and calm.

There are a thousand minute intricacies that make up the tapestry of who you are and not a single one has ceased to exist since the last time that somebody loved you.

I know we’re not supposed to need reminders of that. I know that we’re supposed to be strong and self-sufficient and reassured — certain of our own worth, questioning only the value of others. But we’re human. We forget.

We forget that we are lovable. We forget that we’re desired. We forget that we are anything other than the hard-shelled, busybody workaholics that we’ve all been trained to behave as. We forget that we, too, merit adoration.

And here’s what it’s easiest to forget: Who you are doesn’t cease to exist because there’s nobody there to admire it. The way you bite your pencil is still cute, even when there’s nobody to tease you for it.

The way you hold yourself still exudes con fidence, even if there’s no one to assert it to. The way your eyes light up when you’re talking about what you love is — and endlessly will be — attractive, regardless of who is there to lis ten to you speak.

All the little quirks that make you up are not extinguished because somebody once chose against them. You still deserve to have a good day, even when there’s no one there to wish it to you. Even if you forget to remind yourself.

Someday someone’s going to love all of those tiny things about you. Someone’s going to love the way you cough. They’re going to laugh at the way you lose your keys while you’re actually holding them.

Someday, someone is going to stare at you from across a crowded room and know exactly how you’re feeling based on the way your head is tilting or the type of wine you’ve used to fill your glass.

Someone is going to appreciate all of your obscurities eventually but right now they are all only your own. And that’s okay. First and foremost, you will always belong to yourself.

Here’s what I urge of you if you did not receive a good morning text today: Don’t forget about what makes you incredible. Don’t let your own intricacies slide. Because the lovable parts of you are not gone — I absolutely promise you that much.

You are so much more than the person who nobody texted this morning. You are encompassing. You are fierce. You are
a blazing, roaring fire in a world full of people who’ve been burnt.

So please, refuse to let the wounded people extinguish you. Refuse to be tamed. Refuse to flicker down into a meagre, burnt-out coal because somebody else is not tending to your flame.

At the end of the day, we’re all in charge of what we bring to our lives. So be the person who brings light to your own, even if nobody else shows up to it.

Be the person who has a good day, even if nobody wishes it to them. Find a way to fuel your flame when no one else remembers to, because the world needs the light you give off.

And you, my dear, are too intense a power to be reduced by something as small and insignificant as the lack of a good morning text.

24/01/2023

One of the hardest lessons you will have to learn is that
your life can be saturated with happiness, and you can
still feel moments of deep emotion and sadness.

You can be in a loving relationship, and you can still feel
moments of intense loneliness. You can have access to
the most beautiful human beings, and you can still feel
like you’re alone, like you are dealing with all that is
going on within you on your own.

You can do every single thing right — you can follow the advice of all of those who will tell you how to calm your mind,
how to heal your hurt, you can affirm yourself each
day, you can make self-care and the things you feel
most passionate about the cornerstones of your whole
world, and you can still feel like it is difficult to wake
up in the morning.

Happiness within your life does not dismiss the fact
that your brain works against you sometimes — that
there are periods where it tries to taint the beauty your
heart has felt.

Happiness in your life does not dismiss the fact that anxiety sometimes makes you feel like you are hard to love, or like you have to apologize for the way you exist in this world.

Happiness in your life does not dismiss the fact that your mind processes things differently, that it makes you feel things on a level that is often more severe than most would understand.

When a human being has a broken arm, we know
how to fix it, we understand that we need to be gentle
with it while it heals.

But when it comes to our minds,
sometimes we do not give ourselves that same level
of grace or tenderness.

Give yourself that tenderness. Give yourself permission to exist in
whatever season you are in right now, give yourself
permission to feel what you are feeling, instead of
telling yourself that you aren’t allowed to feel certain
things due to the goodness that exists around you.

Do whatever you have to do in order to heal. Do
whatever you have to do in order to survive. Your
journey is never going to be without the dark days
— try your best to be compassionate with yourself
when you cannot access your light.

23/01/2023

If no one told you this today, let this be your reminder.
You are needed here.

And I understand how hollow those words can feel
when you’re trying to balance all that is heavy within
you.

I understand how difficult it can be to trust in
your healing before you see it, before you experience it.
But the way you feel right now? It is okay. Do not feel
ashamed for this season of your life, do not feel like you
need to apologize for finding it difficult to access your
hope or your belief or your will right now. And while
I know you may feel like things are never going to get
better — what if they do?

While I know you think you
are never going to fall in love — what if you do? While
I know you think there isn’t any beauty left in this universe
for you — but what if there is? What if there is?
Stay here.

Stay here because that is truly the only way you are
going to see that life does get better, that the pain does
subside, that you will learn how to bear the weight
of living, and loving, and hurting, and growing in
the mess and in the awe of this existence.

Stay here because you never know what tomorrow is going to
bring, you never know what experiences are waiting
for you on the other side of your fight.

20/01/2023

I hope you learn how to let go.

I hope you learn how to let go of everyone’s opinion of your life. I hope you start to see, from a place that lives deep within you, that there is no universally correct way to live a life that is solely your own.

Every human being has different goals, has different concepts of what happiness looks like, has a different concept of what it
truly means to be alive.

And because of that, people will judge you — the world will try to change you, but you must continue to move in your own direction, you must continue to go at your own pace, because if you allow
for that to alter your path you’re going to end up living
someone else’s life.

I hope you learn how to make your life your own. I hope you learn how to make your time here something you are proud of.

I hope you learn how to let go of the comparison you hold so closely to your chest. I hope you strive to dismantle the distractions, I hope you strive to see beyond what is manicured and what is filtered in this life.

You are a real human being who is living and breathing in this world, who is healing through and moving through seasons of beauty and seasons of change and seasons of evolution each and every single day. Your experience in this world will never be perfect or faultless, but it will be real. It will be honest. I hope you learn how to embrace that.

I hope you learn how to let go of your tendency to favor distance over depth. I hope you learn how to open to this world, how to let love pour into your life. We often protect ourselves from seeming too eager or too interested; we hold our feelings back because we don’t want to seem overly emotional or tender.

We silence our instincts, we bankrupt our souls, and at the end of the day we feel alone. I hope you learn how to let go of your fear, I hope you learn how to remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with vulnerability, with being human, with unhinging your rib cage and sharing your heart with this world.

There is beauty to be found in being the person who cares. So care.

I hope you learn how to let go of a love that won’t love you back. I hope you learn how to let go of the stories you tell yourself, of the ways in which you have let all that has hurt you, all that has bruised your soul, convince you that you needed to settle for less than
what your heart desired.

I hope you learn how to let go of the parts of yourself that make you feel like you are not worthy of the kind of love that teaches you
and hopes for you.

But above all else, I hope you learn how to let go of the idea that you cannot be this person for yourself. You are your own safe place. Make your alone a beautiful place to be.

18/01/2023

You can still care for the people who hurt you, but that does not change the fact that you have to let them go.

This is your reminder — sometimes your biggest losses end up introducing you to your biggest gains.

Sometimes, you do not end up with the person your heart chooses. Sometimes, you cannot make your love a one-size-fits-all for the circumstances, or the opportunities, or the changes that are unfolding in your life.
Sometimes you have to lay all of your hope down; you have to stop it from pouring out of you and into a love that will never be nourished enough to meet you where you are right now.

But you cannot forget that in walking away, in creating that space, you are giving yourself the opportunity to meet the person who
will stay.

The person who shows up for you. The person who will understand the depth of your feeling, the person who will make you understand why it never worked out with anyone else, and you are going to be so glad that you worked through the loss, that you let
go with grace, because it led you to them.

Sometimes, the hardest seasons of your life are growing you into a version of yourself that recognizes your own strength, that believes in your capacity to rebuild even the most broken parts of who you are.

Sometimes, it is within those moments, it is within that dark, where you meet your survival, where you learn to weather whatever storm life manages to send your way. And sometimes, you will not know where this quiet power has come from, you will not know how or when the healing began, but it will be there.

It will always arrive, quietly in the night, after weeks, or months, or years of pushing your way into the world.

And it is within that reality, it is within that softening, that you will be reminded of all the ways you continue to beat the odds. It is within that journey, it is within that fight, where you will be reminded of how you overcame all of the things you once thought would defeat you.

At the end of the day, you must remember this — energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be transformed. The universe does not take without giving, and it is within the messiness, and the aches of life, where you will finally be introduced to the beauty, where you will finally be introduced to the light.

Moving on is not about forgetting, is not about denying the memory. Moving on is about having gratitude for what has impacted your heart without having to dismiss your experience or disregard it.

Moving on is about folding the memory into yourself — letting it
remind you that you fought for something, that you
tried, that you felt.

17/01/2023

YOU WERE NEVER ASKING FOR TOO MUCH.
YOU WERE SIMPLY JUST ASKING THE WRONG PERSON.🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Forgive yourself for changing. Forgive yourself for be- ing a different person than you were a year ago or three months ago or even a week ago.

Forgive yourself for wanting different things, and for maybe stepping away from the goals or the dreams or the people you fought to manifest in your life.

Sometimes, it’s extremely difficult to see change, to see that difference within your own soul and your own desires as a good thing.

But it is a good thing; it’s the best thing, because it means that you’re learning. It means you’re asking questions.

It means you’re not settling in your life, it means that you’re not just tak- ing a back seat to the way you crash your heart into this world, it means that you are asking more from yourself, it means that you are genuinely trying your best to figure out what deserves to stay in your life, instead of just keeping things within it because they are there.

Forgive yourself for changing. And more importantly — be the person who changes.

Because when you are the person who changes, it means you are the person who is growing. Instead of vilifying yourself for that, instead of feeling like you are falling away from your- self, use this transformation as a reminder that you are actually falling into yourself.

That you are actu- ally chasing the kind of life that is going to be the best reflection of the season you are in.

And do not fear that change, do not get so comfortable in your life that you aren’t moving at all, that you aren’t tak- ing chances or asking questions about how the things within it are truly, deeply making you feel. Wish for change. It doesn’t mean that you’re lost. It means that you’re finding yourself.

Forgive yourself for giving your heart to those who could not love it or value it. Forgive yourself for fall- ing for the wrong people.

Because they weren’t the wrong people — you were meant to meet them, you were meant to fall for them, you were meant to ex- perience them and learn from the lesson.

You do not have to regret the way you put your heart into the world. You do not have to vilify yourself for feeling, and for caring, and for hoping that something beauti- ful you felt with another human being would turn into something real and tangible and pointed.

When you’re mending your heart, it can be difficult to see that. When you’re mending your heart, it can be difficult to come to terms with the fact that, at times, you may not have fought for what it deserved.

Maybe you stayed longer than you knew you should. Maybe you wish you would have seen the signs earlier, that you could have walked away before the damage was done, before the lesson was learned in a really hard and haunted way.

At the end of the day, when you care deeply, when you’re empathetic, when you believe in love and the beauty of another human being so deeply — some- times, you can convince yourself to fight wars for someone who isn’t fighting for you, sometimes you can convince yourself to keep trying, or to not give up, but that isn’t something to be ashamed of.

You tried for something, you risked, and even though it did not work out, you in return learned how to set boundar- ies, how to go forward with your heart and protect it — not in a way that is guarded and hardened to the world, but rather in a way that is informed, that helps for it to be preserved and nurtured, that doesn’t let it settle for things that aren’t for it.

Now you know what you do not want. Now you know what you do not want to feel. Now you know the kinds of things you crave, the respect you deserve, and you won’t settle for the opposite any longer. Forgive yourself for how you got to that understanding.

Forgive yourself for taking your love back. Forgive yourself for outgrowing certain people in your life.

Forgive yourself for all of those moments you had to protect your energy, for all of those moments you had to make the hard decision to choose yourself, because by staying, and trying to fight harder, and give more, and be more, and fix and fix and save and save, you were only ever depleting yourself to the point of ex-haustion.

Forgive yourself for all of the times you tore up pieces of your own heart in order to mend another human being, hoping that it would heal them and nourish them and make them better or happier. For- give yourself for wanting to save the people you loved.

Understand that sometimes, in order to do that, you have to walk away. Because you cannot fix the people you love. You cannot heal them. They have to do that on their own.

And if someone isn’t showing up for that healing, if they are content with having you hold them together, then that will only ever ruin you.

Walking away to refuel yourself, giving your heart a break, allowing for it to be yours and yours only, allowing for the love you so compassionately poured into another human being to be poured back into yourself — that is something you need to forgive yourself for.

Because not only were you choosing to nurture yourself, but you were also helping this person in a way you may not fully comprehend.

Sometimes the most formative way to love another human being is to love them from a distance, is to lay down your hope and your fight, is to know when to wave the white flag and challenge them to show up for themselves. You were not put into this world to fix people who do not want to be fixed. It is okay to walk away from relationships that require you to do so.

Forgive yourself for that.