Violet Vision

04/03/2022

Abusers are in control of their actions.
They abuse their families, not their bosses. 🚩

04/01/2022

Thanks to One Moms Battle:
“Moms don’t let moms say, “Alienation.”

And the APSAC agrees.”

03/26/2022

”You are no longer a pawn in the mind games of a psychopath. You are free.”

- Jackson MacKenzie, Psychopath Free, (Expanded Edition)

Thanks to Jackson MacKenzie at PsychopathFree for sharing their writing with the world.

03/26/2022

So goad Gabor Maté shares his wisdom with us all.

Shutting down emotion creates physiological illness later on.

03/25/2022

Thanks to Being Human Podcast for interviewing Author Gordon Neufeld about his and Gabor Maté’s their book Hold Onto Your Kids. Such a fantastic interview, and book. Links to each in the comments.

Parentification of children and peer orientation deprive children of their rights to have parents and adults provide them the care they need and deserve.

Guard your boundaries fearlessly.

03/13/2022

Your light will inspires some.
Your light will enrage others.

Shine anyways.

Let those it inspires be part of your strength, part of your purpose.

Don't flinch and dim your light when someone who lacks their own light tries to jar you, like a firefly, and show you off as "theirs."

You are not a light they can extinguish when your light offtend them.

You are not "unworthy" or "wrong" because you shine.

Your brightness is not offensive to those meant to be around you, at the right distances.

You are worthy, you are perfectly, imperfectly you. Keep doing the next right thing.

Do right by your children, and self first. If you can do this and do right by your broader family, do that too. If you can do right by your children, yourself, your broader family and your friends, do that too. If you can do right by all the aforementioned and your community, do that, too. If you can do right by all those AND your town, province, nation, and humanity, do that, too.

But never do right by the person trying to extinguish your fire, above your children or yourself.

Ever.

Stand in your light, your truth, and don't you dare dim your light for anyone.

You were not put here to diminish your light.

03/08/2022

Check out this podcast by Being Human Podcast to learn about the book Hold Onto Your Kids by developmental psychologist Gordon Neufeld, PhD and trauma expert Dr. Gabor Maté, MD.

Utterly amazing.

03/08/2022

💜🤍 Be a safe person for your children to be themselves.
💜🤍 Be safe for your children to co-regulate their neurological system with.
💜🤍 Be safe to sit with them as they lean into feeling their emotions.
💜🤍 Listen without shame or judgement.
💜🤍 Give them support.
💜🤍 Teach them skills to cope, to manage feelings, to discern, to self-advocate and to resolve conflict.

Create a safe space for WHATEVER your child needs help with. Be the place he, she, or they can come to for ANYTHING. Because... what will happen to them if they have no place to go?
https://twitter.com/natgrace79

03/06/2022

This.

"This woman is a GD genius"

03/05/2022

03/03/2022

Trauma wasn’t your choice.
The impacts weren’t your choice.
Healing is your responsobility.
Healing is messy.
You deserve support as you heal.

01/27/2022

Reminder to those who coparent with an unsafe coparent—

Things you are not responsible for:

1. Your children’s abuser’s feelings.
2. Your children’s abuser’s unsafe choices.
3. The consequences your children’s abuser faces as a result of their unsafe choices, including any negative feelings the children have towards their abuser.

Keep showing your children they are worthy of safety, security and respect, with you, and everywhere they go.

01/27/2022

The one thing you cannot do if you're trying to make change is respond to fear.

- Maria Giese

01/24/2022

Thanks to Family court hurts for their words.

“after all these years and with so much $$$, the so called "experts" don't understand the basics of domestic violence. so many of the people involved in the current family law $y$tem have abetted in horrible abuse of women and children. these same people are not the ones who will bring the changes we need.

we deserve a new survivor led process for assisting families who are separating that doesn't involve the legal $y$tem, except as a last resort.

"Guardians ad litem, custody evaluators, and judges often mistakenly identify custody disputes involving a domestic abuser as “high conflict divorces.” The term “high conflict divorce” suggests symmetrical and parallel escalation from both parties. However, in most “high conflict” divorce cases, what we are really seeing is one “party who is drawn towards, rather than away from, conflict” (Rosenfeld et al., 2019).

These cases are marked by one “high conflict litigant” who exerts power by dragging their ex into court repeatedly. In other words, an abuser creates a series of court complications to make a divorce or custody case impossible to resolve, so it continues for years. The problem is not the couple—the problem is one member of the couple and should be handled accordingly. The abuser wants the case to drag on, relishing these opportunities to continue to make the ex-partner suffer.

This coercive control tactic is variously called legal abuse (Douglas, 2018), vexatious litigation (Fitch & Easteal, 2017), procedural abuse (Miller & Smolter, 2011), judicial terrorism (Tucker, 2021), and custody stalking (Elizabeth, 2017). Domestic abusers act the role of a loving and caring parent who wants to have half-time or more with their children when their true goal is to maintain a continuous route for harassing their ex-partners.

Frequently, the domestic abuser creates a false (gaslighting) narrative that the other parent should lose much or all of their parenting time because they are “mentally unstable.” The domestic abuser may also allege that the targeted parent is trying to undermine the role of the domestic abuser in the children’s lives and raise the specter of “parental alienation.”

The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges noted that “it is often legitimate for the partner of an abusive parent to try to protect the children from exposure to abuse, or to try to secure his or her own safety from the abusive partner by limiting that partner’s contact with the children” (p. 19)."

Abusers torment their exes through the courts in a form of coercive control.

01/16/2022

Trauma survivor? You made it out alive and safe. You did that.

💪🏻 💜 ✨ ☀️ 🔦

May you be a survivor who can build a beautiful life of giving and receiving love .
💜 ✨ ☀️ 🔦

May you tell your story of survival with authenticity and confidence. 📖 🎞 📣 ✍️

💜 ✨ ☀️ 🔦

If you’re still experiencing violence—stay safe. Find support, make a safety plan. Trust your instincts, always. Leaving can be the most dangerous time.

01/11/2022

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- Admin Aimee

01/09/2022

" Embodiment is a lifestyle choice."
- Mastin Kipp

01/08/2022

Your mental health matters. Here's a link aimed at mental wellness for men. Check it out and share it with the men in your life. https://headsupguys.org/?fbclid=IwAR0ubnIgTPsUJgcGy61tSg9_EEezb21wopguRzxc8t_wDesXqDZDtHSO-Kk

HeadsUpGuys is a depression resource that provides guys with information and practical tips to manage and prevent depression in men.