10/04/2019
This is a emotional circle that needs closure. I just can't. Mommy missing has shocked me, that you've been missing so long. I haven't given up in my search to find you mommy, we need closure. Staying positive im supposed to be knowing that you are somewhere out there. It hurts me seeing children with their mothers because i never had one. Except a step mother who was a abusive towards us.How do i live my life not knowing who are you,where you are,do we ever cross your mind? Its a feeling undescrible we hate feeling cause you have unanswered questions.
Never once did I have you there as a mother to hug me and to see your smile, to tell me all is going to be okay, to guide me, where you were to be someone i could go to knowing you would be there for me no matter what happened. Where are you......? God let your will be done keep me strong and show me what i need to see in Jesus name Amen π
My mother,what does it mean to me.... emptyness,not worthy of you?. I need you every second of my life, I need to know why you decided to leave us, Why didnβt you stay with us and get help?? Because of your leaving us, We had to go through pain and and abuse feeling not good enough and not worthy of love.It was your action we face all the hurt and never being good enough.We went through hell and back,if only u stayed maybe it would be different. You are the one who walked away and never came looking for us. We must have peace of mind but why? We shouldn't judge you, because we donβt know you but why? We had to face a lot alone,all our milestones birthdays,schooling you werent apart of! We understand what you went through. We found it in our hearts to forgive you for leaving us. Why didn't you give us the opportunity to know you??? You can still decide to be in our lives, somehow. Its your chose you need to make, We waiting on you!...
We know you out there somewhere in the world but where? We empty and hurt knowing you are somwhere out there but not knowing where. We want to know you mother. We want to be worthy of your love but maybe you dont know the meaning of love. But maybe you didn't have someone to show you love,we think. GOD knows what will happen. He knows our hearts are longing for you mother. He knows where you are!!! COME ON MOTHER WHERE ARE YOU? Are you enjoying your life while we in hurt and despair... Writing to you hoping it will help, are you trying to find us?.Are you???
Please come back mommyπππ