05/06/2013
Psychological Ramblings #1
By: Lady Grey
Dominance/Submission is often looked at in one of two ways, as coming from a place of power and mental health, or from a place of weakness and mental disturbance.
Gordon E. Allport was a major figure in the development of the Psychology of Personality in the twentieth century. Adopting findings of psychoanalysis and learning theory. A hallmark of Allport's work is his concern with individual uniqueness which he tried to balance against universal law, psychology's principal preoccupation in his day. Could his theory’s hold the key to healthy versus unhealthy Dominance/submission in B**M?
Allport defined two major factors of personality: extrinsic factors, and intrinsic factors. Intrinsic factors integrate into our lives, while extrinsic factors are fragmented and given to compartmentalization. Allport insists on the dynamic growing character of human personality. Personality, Allport believes is not finished in childhood, but continues to develop throughout our lives. Behavior is always trying to bring something about, it is always reaching out and relating to something. Healthy behavior including healthy D/s behavior is not governed by environmental causes, but internal guidance.
Sentiment is defined by Allport as an organization of thoughts and feelings that are directed to a valued object or idea. It is a style of existence, a way of relating oneself to life. Sentiments are seen to be relatively unchanging components of personality. So a “Mature D/s sentiment” would be said to be a readiness formed through experience to react favorably to certain principles that are regarded as central and permanent in the importances in one’s life. The mature sentiment is changed only when it makes sense with what truly matters with our inner selves. If we use this definition it is easy to see why a D/s sentiment can be completely successful and nondestructive.
The task of the mature D/s sentiment is to form a meaningful whole of the experience. It provides a forward thrust that enables us, at each stage of our development to relate ourselves to a meaningful being. It is an attempt to get in touch and harmony with our reality, our inner selves, and our partner.
In a healthy personality which is ordered and unified, a strong sentiment of self worth is found to hold a dominant position inside the D/s sentiment. This makes for an especially integrated and ordered personality. The mature sentiment brings meaning and peace to D/s behavior. Some need to love and serve another to bring a sense of completeness to their lives. D/s can be the sentiment that brings this completeness.
The mature D/s sentiment should be unique and varied. It is essentially individual in character. The emphasis on individuality as is the hallmark of healthy mature D/s. D/s does not always share the same framework. There is no common core of feeling or thought characteristic of D/s. For example not everyone will feel that D/s should encompass house cleaning, financial servitude, or s*xual repression. The uniqueness of the individual's D/s sentiments should always be taken into account. There are as many “Dominant / submissive Experiences” as there are Dominant / submissive people.
Mature sentiment sustains moral standards and provides moral zeal. It is comprehensive, It represents the cohesion of many factors. It is a comprehensive attitude and a way to a whole Being. Those practicing a mature D/s, do so as much for themselves and an inner design, as for those they serve. In this way their strong inner core is not changed or degraded by their D/s, but fulfilled and enlightened by it.
The mature D/s sentiment, is the result of much conscious thought. It is not merely reacting to the demands of another to fit in, or find a social status. Intrinsic D/s does not conform for the interests of “social cohesiveness”. If a mature Dominant/submissive is to adopt a custom they do so for their own good reasons.
Immature D/s or extrinsic D/s has no guarantee of maturity in any sentiment. it is self serving and bends to societal pressures. Dominants/submissives practising extrinsic D/s may be left with a “wish fulfilling” type of D/s. They may seek comfort or a degree of social status . Most criticism does not come from mature D/s but of immature D/s which has no growth beyond gratification of impulses. It serves as a tranquilising agent to cover up problems with the individual’s sense of “Self”.
It remains self justifying and self centered, it is unreflective and fails to find the supreme context in which the D/s can meaningfully locate his or her being. Nor does it enable the individual to judge his or her conduct in perspective. It excludes vast segments of the experience. It is incapable of uniting the personality. It is often seen to be in pursuit of material or emotional comfort rather than wholeness. Dominants/submissives may use this as an escape from adult responsibility. It is unquestioning, irrational and authoritarian. It is often geared to self advantage and is bound to come undone.
The mature D/s sentiment must transcend personal whim, and is edifying to the self. D/s in it’s immature version may resemble neurosis.
