Yale Record

The world's oldest humor magazine. Meetings are at 9 PM on Mondays in LC 209.

08/31/2024

Welcome to Yale, class of 2028. Start your year off right by reading The Record’s First-Year Issue while munching on a free sandwich. Issues can be found in a dining hall near you!

08/16/2024

Polls showed that the majority of students wanted neither to-go boxes nor breakfast pastries, but rather a 5th new vinaigrette.

08/06/2024

Former President Trump has since expressed interest in auditioning for America’s Got Talent, where he will perform ventriloquy with JD Vance.

08/05/2024

All other athletes tied for dead last.

08/01/2024

According to department faculty, the contest is the first step of their new guerrilla fundraising campaign to combat declining enrollment.

07/21/2024

Joever

07/18/2024

On a separate note, Kamala Harris excited to become first female president.

07/14/2024

Witnesses say Trump was just within earshot.

07/12/2024

She's a woman of many names

07/01/2024

Wishing all our normal followers a happy straight and cisgender month!

06/30/2024

Which emotion is controlling you right now?

06/28/2024

I’m so done with this. I hate this job. Screw you yale record for making me watch and post about the debate. I quit. Kiss my ass.

-social media editor

05/31/2024

Later, the former president took to X to declare, “Sleepy Joe could never get a verdict as huge as mine, pathetic and SAD!”

05/29/2024

In light of the very recent events, the Corporation has created a Presidential Search Committee Search Committee to search for the next committee that searches for the next president.

05/29/2024

In light of recent events, the Yale Corporation will form a Search Committee for the Presidential Search Committee to search for the next committee that searches for the president.

05/20/2024

The new movie is rumored to be about Shrek’s rivalry with an emotionally intelligent Lord Farquaad

05/12/2024

“They’re from me,” says relieved son on his way to Target.

05/10/2024

Are you smarter than a Yale econ major?

05/09/2024

Under Yale, where shadows flail
And secrets hide in ancient tomes
Flip the page to see unveiled
The whereabouts of Eli’s bones

Pick up a copy of the Record’s Archival issue at a dining hall near you!

Front cover:
Back cover:

04/28/2024

Why can’t we print more money? What even is consulting? The Reconomist is the hottest and only magazine to learn about all things business and politics, even if you’re a woman. Pick up a copy outside any dining hall!

02/25/2023

“That was a test,” said one bouncer. “You really woke up and thought ‘hey I know I’m keeping my name a secret, but if some guy in a black T-shirt asks for my name, height, and address, that’d be fine. That is ok.’ You actually thought that, didn’t ya?”

02/24/2023

“I know how scary this must be, but there’s just no alternative.”

02/23/2023

Oh gosh. Someone should really tell her.

02/21/2023

“I’m gonna need to see some I.D., gramps,” commented one local bartender.

02/15/2023

The algorithm works! Are you happy with your results?

Join us for a group date with Joel this Thursday at 10pm at 45 Howe Street!

Thanks for being good sports!
-The Yale Record

02/14/2023

“However, I am down for an awkward smile-grimace every time we pass by each other,” offered Sam Hatch (BK ‘25).

02/13/2023

We made this issue in 24 hours. Take a look if you want to see where America is headed in 350 years.

Front cover:

02/12/2023

Buck added, “You’re not in the backyard, man — this is the Super Bowl. Show some respect.”

02/09/2023

The Cucumber is so back. It’s so back that it’s honestly crazy how back it is. Link in bio for tickets.

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