14/11/2021
..Copied..
HOW GENERATIONS GET MESSED UP BY HATRED IN FAMILIES.
United we stand but divided we fall, the old adage says..
I could be wrong but I have come to conclude that if you wish to mess up a generation, start at family level by planting a small seed of hatred and it won't be long before it germinates, grows and bear fruits of bitterness, unforgiveness, resentment and reproach.
How does it start? A struggling brother asks a seemingly financially stable sister or brother for money for rentals, he is either given but delays or fails to pay back and he gets blasted for not paying back or he isn't given and some remarks are passed saying "we can't keep helping a grown man", he hears the remarks, shares with his wife and the wife wonders what kind of relatives he has, before long, the children get to know about the ordeal and the two or three families exchange bitter words. In anger, families speak carelessly about the other families in front of their children and eventually they are stopped from visiting each other. As time goes by, some issues are forgotten and during funerals or weddings, parents decide to greet each other or ignore each other and the children pick it up again, since parents egos are too much, they once again carelessly talk ill about each other in front of their children so children grow up thinking uncle and aunty are evil. These children eventually grow up not talking to their cousins because of their parents differences. So they just grow up knowing they are related but no friendship or bond created. They begin having children and deliberately they don't introduce them to other relatives because there is no friendship or bond in any case, as time goes by, children grow up only knowing their cousins from their parents biological siblings so technically, cousins to their parents are out of the picture and life goes on. Again, siblings who already have children of their own haven't been introduced to their cousins, one of the children marries or gets married to a person they don't like so the hatred and it's roots go even deep in this new generation.
In the long run, people get to die and leave orphans behind, sadly, because there is no family unity and love and people haven't been introduced to each other, orphans find themselves in the streets and sometimes they even get to meet their fellow children related to them but they don't know because they weren't introduced. Strange, when an elderly person who knew about the beef in the family dies, people gather at funerals and only get to realise they are related but again it is difficult for some to pick up the relationships from there because the foundation is weak as a result loss of family values become inevitable.
You may not really have the power to reconcile everyone in your family and among your relatives and tell people what to do but as much as you can, make a deliberate decision not to be part of the hatred and bitterness that runs in families. Sensor what you say or comment on issues of your family in front of your spouse and children, you may reconcile but the seed you plant in your nuclear family will mess up the generation to come. Most of the issues the community and the Churches deal with nowadays wouldn't be there if only families practiced love, unity, tolerance and forgiveness. We have limited time on earth so before you rush to influence the broken world, endeavour to keep your family and relations together even in our imperfections as humans. Remember, a broken family builds up to a broken world so start from where you are, it will make a difference.
