20/01/2024
DANGER OF ASSUMPTION
A few months ago, I was invited to a programme in a school as a guest speaker.
When I entered the auditorium, I saw some guests I knew sitting in one corner. I went up to them and started to greet them one after the other.
I shook their hands, even with the ones I didn't know until I got to one guest. I didn't know him and when I extended my hand, he ignored it. After few seconds, I withdrew my hand. All my thought was, "what arrant nonsense?" I kept asking the question from myself. I felt very embarrassed and angry. Embarrassed for myself and angry at the man.
What was he feeling like, I thought. All those other guests accepted my greeting. And to my knowledge, I hadn't done anything wrong. I gave him a very scornful look, greeted the remaining guests and went to take a seat.
Now, even after I sat down, I was still pi**ed. I kept stealing glances at the guest to see how he would react to other people.
Then I saw it... Amazingly he was blind!!!
His eyes were open, but he couldn't see at all! The other guests who came to greet him had to touch him first, then take his hand if they wanted to shake hands with him.
To my great surprise, he is my hidden protege who really appreciates my lectures. I never knew he came purposely because his wife informed him that I will be the guest speaker for this year's Programme. In fact, he was waiting to hear someone bemoan my name so as to stand and hug me.
When I heard this, my embarrassment level tripled. In addition to that, I felt stupid, very stupid. I was still angry, just angry at myself. In fact, I could not say a word to him until I got to the podium and my speech for that Programme changed from "Recovery" to "DANGER OF ASSUMPTION".
Assumption kills like poison. Any small thing, we assume, thinking others are doing what we think not what we validate by personal eye witness.
Someone doesn't pick our calls, we assume he or she is avoiding us or is up to something.
Someone doesn't give us the money we asked for, we assume he or she is stingy and wicked...
Someone doesn't call, hangout or visit you as he/she usually does. We assume they are no longer caring or intimate again, then comes the anger and repulsive attitude towards them.
We never care to know and understand that issues of life can set in to choke them. Also that, the issues of life are diverse in nature, not the same
Once we are turned or rejected, we start assuming. Power of verification of issues is more important and significant for more connection with healthy people to get to the top.
We don't put into consideration what the other party might be going through or experiencing. Always have it at the back of your mind that, other people might not be in pleasant mood like you.
The guy that promised you money might get into a financial situation a day before he's supposed to give you the money.
✓ The person that didn't pick your call was probably in a meeting or busy at that moment, or even sleeping. He might not be in the mood to take your call.
✓ We just assume instead because it’s easier and it tends to make us the good guys.
✓ Give someone benefit of the doubt, make an excuse for that person. It's not always as it seems in your mind and head.
Maintain relationships with people. What you EXPECT will COME towards you and what you don't EXPECT will RUN away from you.
✓ It is childish and immature to pick offence at every provocation or perceived wrongness and then start keeping grudges as a result. Grow above it.
✓ Someone did not invite you for their wedding, you pick offence with them.
✓ Someone didn't wish you happy birthday, you pick offence with the person.
✓ They didn't like your Facebook post, you pick offence.
✓ They didn't support you in a disagreement you had with someone, you pick offence with them.
✓ They are junior and they dare to talk or oppose your opinion. You pick offense with them.
✓ They said No to your request, you pick offense, and malice starts.
✓ You asked them for money, and they said they didn't have it, you pick offense with them.
✓ You are even keeping a record of people who brought gifts to your wedding, those who blessed you because you helped them, you have a list of those who give you gifts or money always among your junior colleagues, so you can know who to pick offense with.
NOTE:
Everyone has his/ her battle that someone is not aware of.
Those who you need help from are also looking for help.
Not everything is personal and intentional.
Not everyone hates you.
Sometimes, people are just caught up with their own lives, struggles, human weaknesses, and limitations.
Learn how to manage being disappointed by people and still be on talking terms with them. It will save you a lot of UNNECESSARY grudges and save you some FRIENDSHIPS you may need in the future.
*"Grow above offenses, grow with offenses, grow to ignore offenses, and stop hurting yourself."*
