Emmanuel malon

01/05/2024

Early birds mko wapi na connection

25/03/2024

Am shingo ni straw ya kukunywa mate kwa tumbo na hatujui😂😂😂

25/03/2024

Motivational speaker : Face your problem
Me: How can l face my problem when my problem is my face.

13/11/2023

HOW SCHOOL BOYS WRITE LETTERS TO GIRLS IN THE 80s and 90s Read love grammar below:-

G. C. K
P.O. BOX 1001,
Kagoro,
Nigeria .
21st March 2007.

Dear Sweet,

Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. I hope you're swimming in the wonderful pool of Mr. Health there. I am also parambulating in the cool breeze of wellness here.

Sweetie pie, the reason why this miraculous thing is happening is because, honey, I love you spontaneously, and as I stand horizontally parallel to the wall and vertically perpendicular to the ground now, I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl, put together as fantabulous. I implore you to decipher this my anthem of love oozing out from the innermost pendulum of my thoraxial cavity.

Darling, please stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat.
To me each day I start by dreaming of you. Each time I see you, my metabolism suddenly halts and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear. My medula oblongata also ceases functioning.

Crazy, crazy, crazy you may say but this is verily veritable. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon, you would prostrate. That's why I need to see you vis a vis soon for a better elucidation through tete a tete. No hyperbole & onomatopoeia, simple candidness.

Only you and me are protagonists in this subtle affair. As I cogitate and ruminate over the last episode, I genuflex before the Omnipotent and implore him to let this affair emulsify.

By the way, I was bamboozled, scintilated, exhilarated, and left in a state of prolonged euphoria by the contents of your missive which was quite edifying and exalting. It left my bio-chemistry in a paradise-like equilibrium.

Empirically speaking, I love u chemically . I drop my pen✍️ into the holy basket of love 🤣🤣

06/11/2023

"SIPENDI
UJINGA MIMI"

1.Jana, nilikutana na boy fulani
akaniuliza
mbona nimekunja uso. ,nikamjibu,
nataka
kuiweka kwa Bag. Sababu mi sipendi
ujinga.

2.Juzi neighbor yangu alikuja
akaniambia
nipunguze sauti ya radio anataka
kulala.Jana
akipika chapoo na mimi nkamwambia
apunguze
harufu ya chapati nataka kula ugali.
Saa hii tuko
kwa landlord tunaongea hio maneno. Ju
sipendi
ujinga

3.Ushawahi katia mrembo sana mpaka
anakushow uende kwao akuna mtu
kufika
unapata pia yeye hayuko......KUMBE
HUYO
MREMBO HAPENDI UJINGA

4.Sasa polisi anatusimamisha eti juu
number
plate ya nyuma na ya mbele haifanani,
alafu
beshteangu anamuuliza k**a uso yake
na
matako inafanana.......mi imebidi
nicheke sai
tuko central ndo napatiana simu, so
nitakua
mteja kiasi .Hata polisi kumbe
hawatakangi
ujinga.

5.Ex wangu amenicall kuitisha
earphones
zake..nmempelekea earphones nkachukua
simu
yangu..nmemwacha akiziconnect kwa
radio. Hata
mimi nmerealise sipendangi ujinga.

6.Nimeenda hosi kupimwa
ugonjwa,results kukam
doc ananisho ati choo yangu ni
mbaya....sai
najenga ingine, sipendingi ujinga mimi

7.Nlitoka rave 3am juzi.Kufika Moi
avenue taxi
ya home inalipisha 1500 na basi ya
kwenda
mombasa inalipisha 700,Nlienda
Mombasa na
700 nkarudi na 700 na nkabaki na
mia.sitakangi
ujinga mimi.

8.Mlevi anapanda gari alafu conda
anamuuliza"na
hii ulevi yako utaenda mbinguni
kweli"mlevi
akamjibu"k**a mnaenda mbinguni
simamisha
gari nishuke Mimi naenda tu apa
ngara.......…........PIA MLEVI HAPENDI UJINGA

9.Mtoi wa neighbour amenizoea sana.
nikimtuma kitu kwa duka anakula tu.
juzi
nilimtuma mkate akaila, jana nikamtuma
blue
band akala. leo nimetuma super glue,
saa hii
haongei.ujinga sipendi!..🤣🤣🤣
10.Najua pia after kusoma hio ote huwezi enda bila KULIKE hii post ju pia wewe hupendi ujinga

20/10/2023

Jamaal alimfumania mkewe na mchizi Tena kwake kitandani¡ Yani ile anarudi Home Toka Kibaruani Anafungua mlango Room Paaaap Anawakuta Kwenye Tendo, wakastuka¡ Jamaa Akawaambia Samahani Kwa Kuwasumbua Kisha akafunga mlango akasepa (That's A Gentleman move ) Huku nyuma mchizi akasepa kishanuka akamuacha mke wa Jamaa analia kwa kujutia¡¡

Jamaa akarudi kwake akamletea mkewe zawadi ya gauni Zuri na la thamani sana ambalo hakuwahi kumpaga before , mke akashangaa sana huku ana wasi wasi mwingii Jamaa akalala Hakutaka kuzungumza kitu kesho yake Jamaa akaenda job ila mchana akarudi kwake akamletea mkewe zawadi ingine ya pochi la thamani na cheni na viatu akampa na 3M akamwambia ya matumizi yake madogo madogo mke kila akitaka kuanzisha convo Jamaa anamwambia No Tusilizungumzie Jamaa akarudi job¡

Jioni Jamaa anarudi hamkuti mke Kasepa kaenda kwao kwa wazazi wake ameenda kuwaambia MUME WANGU ANATAKA KUNIUA KIMYA KIMYA, MIMI SIRUDI ILE NYUMBA 😁😁😁

Unahisi mke alipanic tu mwenyewe Wenge lake ? Jamaal Hana noma?

Au mwana alikuwa Anamfukuza mwizi kimyakimya?🤣🤣

20/10/2023

Mimi nitaishi kupenda Ex😍😍😍, juu ya utamu wake😋😋,,,wachana na hizi unga zingine k**a ndovu na ajab😂Chapati zao sio laini bwanaa😅😅💔

13/10/2023

7 LAWS OF MENTAL MASTERY

The writer- Brain Tracy in his book; MAXIMUM ACHIEVEMENT said that he
learnt some truths about life that helped him mentally to face life squarely: that life is hard but whatever one will ever become is up to the person and one can learn anything you need to learn to become anyone you want to become, to achieve anything you want to achieve.

He stated seven laws to help you become great on the inside. These laws are;

1. The law of control
This law states that one feels positive or negative about self to a degree which he feels he is in control or not in control of his life.

However, control over one’s life begins with
the thoughts and that how you think about any situation determines how you feel, and your feelings determines your behavior.

2. The law of cause and effect
It says that everything happens for a reason, whether or not you know what it is.

There are no accidents- nothing just happens. This law is also known as the law of sowing and reaping.

3. The law of believe:
You don’t necessary believe what you see rather; you see what you believe. Belief turns out to reality

4.The law of expectations:
That whatever you expect with confidence becomes your own self-fulfilling
prophecy.

The writer also stated the four sources of expectation which are expectation from parents, your boss, your spouse (or your children or your staff), and lastly the expectation you have of yourself.

5. The law of Attraction:

You invariably attract into your life people and situations in harmony with your dominant thoughts. To have positive and a successful outlook in life, one has to rigorously discipline his thoughts on what he wants.

6. The law of correspondence:
It says as within, so without. The only way; you can permanently change the outer things is to change the inner things.

7. The law of mental equivalency:
It states that thoughts objectify themselves.
Every action begins with a little thought.

Thank you for reading 📚 ❤️ 🙏

12/10/2023

Mwenye ametumiwa' I love you' mbili anitumie Moja safasali😁😁😁

12/10/2023

Kuna watu wanajua vile unaeza fanya uomoke but they can not tell you juu hawataki uringe😩 my friends si mniambie tu🙏 i promise sitaringa 🤣🤣🤣

05/10/2023

"AFTER NIMEVUTA BHANGI JANA NIKACHUKUWA GARI LANGU MIMI HUYOOOO🚙💨.... KIDOGO NIKASIMAMISHWA NA TRAFFIC 👮🚙 MAMBO YAKAWA HIVI👇👇

Me😎::::"(nikiteremsha miwani) unasema aje bwana mndogo😎"

Traffic👮::::"kwa nini unaendesha gari bila kufunga mshipi😡"

Me😎:::" Don't be stupid😎, usiseme gari sema Range Rover😎"

Traffic👮::"sawa kwa nini unaendesha range Rover bila kufunga mshipi😠"

Me😎::"usiseme range Rover tu, sema Range Rover sport ya mwaka 2023😎"

Me😎:::"hii ni new model😎.. mshipi wake ni wireless huwezi kuuona k**a hauna degree😎"

Traffic👮::"safari njema kiongozi"
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Alafu sasa si uangalie k**a umenifollow:
Sai ndo uendelee kuenjoy story zangu.

02/10/2023

19/09/2023