Adelaide Mail

23/08/2024

The price we pay for the convenience of two Coles'.

Dan tried out some of our headlines in stand-up form. After this joke the lucky audience was treated to eight solid minutes of O-Bahn puns.

16/08/2024

🐦‍⬛🏉REVEALED: Shortlisted new Adelaide Crows logos 🏉🐦‍⬛

With Adelaide Football Club seemingly desperate to give fans absolutely anything at all to be excited about next season, it has been announced that a new Adelaide Crows logo will be unveiled in 2025.

Thankfully we at the Adelaide Mail have the shortlisted scoop, which we definitely didn't find by rifling through John Olsen's filing cabinet.

Which is your least favourite?

08/08/2024

House this for some breaking news?

26/07/2024

More like O-Branch, amirite?!

17/07/2024

The tables have turned on the O-Bahn this morning.

17/07/2024

'See the thing is, I'm smarter and more important than everyone else, so I go around them when they get stopped at the lights. Well, that's the plan any way. This time they're just laughing and pointing at me' said the local man of impatience.

Local man of impatience, Aaron Gunt, has once again fallen victim to his own hubris and cockheadedness at the intersection of James Congdon Drive and South Road. ‘See the trick here is I afte…

10/07/2024

When your secret shortcut to the city fails 😥

09/07/2024

Time to reset the counter.

We had a 133 day streak, not bad.

How many days since a car has driven on the O-Bahn tracks?

27/06/2024

"Players can select from a range of vehicles including a Toyota Camry, a Toyota Corolla, or a slightly different type of Toyota Camry." said Arcade Manager Don Keekonng

Thanks to Timezone Australia, Timezone Australia - Tea Tree Plaza, SA and Feature Communications for getting behind this initiative.

The opening of a new Timezone on the previous lower level of Myer that nobody really cared about occurred last weekend, with reports stating that this may be the most exciting thing to happen at Te…

11/06/2024

60 years ago today, George, Paul, Ringo and Keith (?!) came to Adelaide. Here are some of the lesser known true tales of the Beatles Adelaide visit.

06/06/2024

"Too confusing" said Ethel Stone of the Athelstone Resident Senior Ensemble

In an event that has left residents scratching their heads and emergency services mildly inconvenienced, Athelstone resident Ethel Stone has confessed to a lifelong struggle – deciphering the diffe…

30/05/2024

"A small amount of clear liquid falling from the sky?! I better go 40 k's under the speed limit in the right lane, which is nearly 20 k's slower than what I usually do" thought every Adelaide driver this morning.

With the unprecedented event of what is scientifically known as “water falling from the sky”, Adelaide motorists have evidently just completely forgotten how to drive all together this …

24/05/2024

Making one last crossing of Grand Junction Road quick smart.

04/04/2024

"Yeah, just put me out of my misery thanks."

02/04/2024

"We're going to turn this prized parcel of land into a w**d ridden, fenced off paradise of inaction for thirty years" said the developers "It will contain absolutely nothing! Which to be fair, is the only thing North Adelaide residents won't complain about."

Full story: AdelaideMail.com

27/03/2024

Festival punters can expect the return of no safety precautions, open air drug markets, artist no-shows, and PLENTY of dust.

If you were there in 2008, PLEASE share your experience in the comments.

The cancellation of Splendour In The Grass has left a giant hole in Australia’s festival scene, however one SA music festival has announced plans of a revival despite nobody ever asking for i…

09/03/2024

09/03/2024

It's that time of year again, please look out for little Willow-Chakra Newstart.

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found without their parents. Information coming in from slightly buzzed Adelaide…

04/03/2024

Who else enjoyed a nice 90 minute Sunday drive from Modbury to the Big Rocking Horse?

Moe Trist, like many Adelaide residents, loves a nice relaxing drive through the Adelaide Hills. Often heading up into the hills for no particular reason, Moe is a cautious motorist who loves takin…

27/02/2024

It happened again! Time to reset the counter. 65 day streak, not bad.

How many days since a car has driven on the O-Bahn tracks?

26/02/2024

Be treated treated to an evening of captivating discussion, covering topics such as ‘What have you been up to?’, ‘What’s going on?’, ‘What have you been doing with yourself?’, and ‘What have you been up to?’ again, but in a slightly more enthusiastic tone.

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite the highest of expectations, one Gepps Cross man’s foray into the Garden of Unearthly Delights has degenerated into an evening of unimaginable horrors. Dominic Johnson, 27, w…

14/02/2024

Taylor Swift spotted 40km north of Adelaide en route to Melbourne!

Swifties are already speculating about other potential SA Versions including “Cruel Somerton Park”, “Out of the Woodville”, “You need to calm Roxby Downs”, and “Bad Bloods” (Westies version)

Fresh on her way from the Superbowl afterparty, Taylor Swift’s private jet has touched down about 40 kilometres north of Adelaide en route to Melbourne for maintenance. Landing on that dusty …

16/01/2024

"Go around!" said the middle-aged middle-manager pointing at the footpath directly to his right

Travelling at a blistering speed of 31 k’s per hour through peak hour traffic, a group of middle-aged middle-managers who’ve taken the week off to cosplay as athletes have become annoye…

15/01/2024

Petition to leave it like this permanently?

TRENT BARTLETT The Birkenhead Bridge’s difficulty level has been reset to a difficulty level of ‘novice’ following complaints from a bunch of noobs who probably need to go back and drive in single-…

25/12/2023

🎄NO WAY! IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE ON THE HO-HO-HO-BAHN!🎄

68 Days since the last incident. Will reset the counter tomorrow.
https://adelaidemail.com/obahncounter/

24/12/2023

🎄🎅HO-HO-HO-Bahn🎅🎄

Modbury Christmas from The Adelaide Mail.

HO-HO-HO-BAHN: Well, it’s happened again. In the early ours of this morning another overseas visitor has taken their vehicle onto the O-Bahn tracks. When the white haired gentleman was asked …

21/12/2023

'I don't understand, it was completely artificial' stated a worker from some store we don't even know because we're far too pov to shop there.

In a scene reminiscent of a decade past, another tree has met its demise in Adelaide’s fourth least-worst shopping centre. Despite being completely made of artificial materials, a tall Christ…

18/12/2023

🎄🎅SA CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES🎅🎄

They're back with some new jokes that are somehow even worse than last year's.

Feel free to share with your work friends or even your actual friends.

Murray Bridgemas and Seaford's Greetings from The Adelaide Mail.