https://www.facebook.com/109171535504032/

Zed Shooters

Home
Zambia
Lusaka
Zed Shooters

We bring to you Zambia's most trending stories and what's happening around the globe �

26/09/2024

Ukamvela che nyimbo "kiba mkulu kulu" pa status yabo ninshi wa ziba ati aba niba hule🤣😂😂

10/08/2024

The Lie said to the Truth, "Let's take a bath together, the well water is very nice.

The Truth, still suspicious, tested the water and found out it really was nice. So they got naked and bathed.

But suddenly, the Lie leapt out of the water and fled, wearing the clothes of the Truth.

The Truth, furious, climbed out of the well to get her clothes back.
But the World, upon seeing the naked Truth, looked away, with anger and contempt.

Poor Truth returned to the well and disappeared forever, hiding her shame.

Since then, the Lie runs around the world, dressed as the Truth, and society is very happy..... because the world has no desire to know the naked Truth.

30/07/2024

IN HISTORY: WOODLANDS WATER TANK

THE Woodlands Water Tank opposite now Pick 'n' Pay under construction in 1952 and completed in 1954.

From the photo you can tell where the name Woodlands emanated from, the vast trees that covered that area early days of Cecil John Rhodes Avenue changed to Independence Avenue in 1964 and Mosi-o-tunya road are visible.

25/07/2024

Ndipo Kwenze Kantu in 2021🤣😂🤣

25/07/2024

Lusaka Police officer walks into a butchery in chelstone small Market just before closing time and asks, "Do you still have chicken?"

The butcher opens his deep freezer, takes out the only chicken left, and puts it on the scale. It weighs 1.5 kg. The officer looks at the chicken and the scale, then asks, "Do you have one that's a bit bigger than this one?"

The butcher puts the chicken back into the freezer and then takes it out again. This time, he craftily keeps his thumb on the scale pan, making it show 2 kg.

"That's wonderful," says the police officer. "I'll take both chickens, please!"

In a situation like this, you realize that your integrity and your reputation are on the line. Your wisdom becomes foolishness, and your cunning ways become stupidity.

As I write this, the butcher's head is still inside the deep freezer, looking for the first chicken.

Remember: always tell the truth, and you will be free! A good name is better than riches. Live to express yourself truthfully, not to impress others.

13/07/2024

A woman went shopping. At the cash counter, she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He could not control his curiosity and asked,
"Do you always carry your TV remote with you?😕"
She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me shopping today because of football match, so I took the remote."😒🤨

Moral: Accompany and support your wife in her hobbies.....🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍🙍

The story continues....😏
The cashier laughed and then returned all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asked the cashier what he was doing.
He said, "your husband has blocked your credit card.........."😲😲😲😲😲😲

MORAL: Always respect the hobbies of your husband.😒😒😒

Story continues....
Wife took out her husband's credit card from purse and swiped it. Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.

Moral: Don't underestimate the power and wisdom of your WIFE..😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Story continues...
After swiping, the machine indicated, 'ENTER THE PIN SENT TO YOUR MOBILE PHONE'.......

Moral: When a man tends to lose, the machine is smart enough to save him!😝😝😝😝

Story continues....
She smiled to herself and reached out for the mobile which rang in her purse.
It was her husband's phone showing the forwarded SMS.
She had taken it with the remote control so he doesn't call her during her shopping.
She bought her items and returned home happily.

Moral: Don't underestimate a desperate woman!😷😷😷😷😷

Story continues....
On getting home, his car was gone.😈😈😈😈😈
A note was pasted on the door
"Couldn't find the remote. Gone out with the boys to watch the premiership match. Will be home late. Call me on my phone if you need something".😇😇😇😇
Dawn... He left with the house key too.
😂😂😂😂

Moral: Don't try to control your husband.
You will always lose😜😜😜😜

© Nnegbe Macdonald

12/06/2024

Other mother's : son, your girlfriend has a beautiful forehead.
Zambian mother's: mwenda nomwaiche wakwa mbesuma?🙉😒

21/05/2024

My mom👩 once visited my hostel where I share a 2 bedroom boardinghouse🏡 with a female student, Trina😊.

One day my mom👩 invited Trina for lunch, which she obliged😊. So as we were eating, my mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Trina was😊.

And she had been suspicious of me having a relationship💞 with Trina for a long time⏳ as it wasn't her first time visiting🙃.

While having lunch, I noticed that she kept watching how the two of us were interacting and she started giving me that "I know something's up😏* look.

Knowing my mom💁‍♂️, I quickly said, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you we are just roommates😁." Well she just smiled😁 and didn't say a thing🤐.

About a week later⏳, Trina came to me saying,

"J, ever since your mother came for lunch, I have been unable to find the silver plate in the kitchen. Don't you think your mother took it, first ask her?"

I said, "Well I doubt it, but I will text her just to be sure."

3 days ago, I sat down and wrote✍️

“Dear mom ❤️

After your visit to my place, the silver plate has been missing.

And no I am not saying that you are the one who took the silver plate from my house,

and I am not saying that you didn't take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for lunch.

your Loving son♥️”

Earlier today, I received a text from my mother which read,

"Dear Son,

I am not saying that you sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don't sleep with her

but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her bed, she would have found the silver plate by now because I put it under her pillow"

27/04/2024

One day death came to a Guy and said, Hey, today is your last day.😒

Guy, But I'm not ready!😭

Death said, Well today your name is the first on my list.😉

Guy, Okay then why don't you take a seat and we will drink a COFFEE☕ before we go😊?

Death☠️, All right.

The Guy gave Death some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it😅. Death finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!! The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at the bottom of the list!!😌

When Death woke up he said to the Guy, Because you have been so nice to me now I will start my job from the BOTTOM of the list.😇
😂😂😂😂😂💔

20/04/2024

A beer company was hiring a taster, Someone to taste the beers before they are taken for selling. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, my father walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.

The manager tried to figure out how he could drive him away but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give him a trial. He ordered his secretary to give him a glass of wine 🍷

He took a sip and said, "It's Red wine, Varietal, three years old, grown on rift valley, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct!" The manager exclaimed, "Well give him another one let's see." So he was given.

He took a sip again and said, "It's Guinness, a combination of barley, roast malt extract, and brewers yeast brewed around Thika road in Nairobi, Kenya 2 years ago"

"Incredible!" said the manager.

Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that."

So my father was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, "Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I'm not given this job, Sir I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy"

both the manager and the secretary fainted 😁😳

My father got the job✌

Copied

18/04/2024

A group of professors were called and sat on a plane.

When the doors closed and the plane is about to take off, all the professors were informed that this plane is made by their students.

Then all the professors rush toward the plane doors, trying to escape and survive on their own with exception of One professor remain seated with so much confidence and calmness.

Someone's asked him why you're not escaping the plane.

Professor answer him with confidence, they are our students.

Next Question: are you sure that you taught them well?

Professor replied quietly: I'm Sure it won't fly.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD 😃👍

13/04/2024

NOBODY IS YOUR ENEMY

*ANYONE THAT ANNOYS YOU* --is teaching you patience and calmness.

*ANYONE THAT ABANDONS YOU* --is teaching you how to stand up on your own feet.

*ANYBODY THAT OFFENDS YOU* --is teaching you forgiveness and compassion.

*ANYTHING THAT YOU HATE* --is teaching you, unconditional love.

*ANYTHING THAT YOU FEAR* --is teaching you the courage to overcome your fears.

*ANYTHING YOU CAN'T CONTROL* --is teaching you to let go.

*ANY "NO" YOU GET FROM HUMAN* --is teaching you to be independent.

*ANY PROBLEM YOU'RE FACING* --is teaching you how to get a solution to problems.

*ANY ATTACK YOU GET FROM PEOPLE* --is teaching you the best form of defence.

*ANYONE WHO LOOKS DOWN ON YOU* --is teaching you to look up to CREATOR ( *GOD* ).

Always look out for the lesson in every situation you face in every phase of life.
Be polite, calm, gentle and thankful to God because He will be with you to the end.
Life had taught me lessons. I do not see people at my cross road, because humans are not reliable. I only see God as the author and finisher of my faith.

*R E F L E C T I O N S*
*When you live your life without anyone betraying, hurting, disappointing, disgracing or offending you, then it means you never did anything worthy.*

*The beauty of life, is that it comes with disappointments and betrayals, from people you least expect.*

*Unfortunately, some of us spend so much time crying over these betrayals and disappointments, and end up becoming victims of all circumstances.*

*Remember One Thing:* *Holding unto anger is like knocking your head on the wall and expecting the other person to feel the pain. You are only hurting yourself.*

*The fact is that the world is full of annoying, naughty, stupid and ungrateful people, and you will always come across them at one point or another in life. But the best thing to do, is to deal with them with wisdom and maturity.*

*You can’t get everyone to love you, think like you or behave like you... never.*

*We must

07/04/2024

After the lesson in class, teacher asked if anyone have a question to ask before ending the class

ME:- Teacher I have a question

Teacher: -What is it

Me:- How do u put an Elephant in a fridge?

Teacher:- I don't know

Me:- it very easy u just open a fridge and u put an Elephant inside

Teacher:- okay

Me:- And how do u put a donkey in a fridge?

Teacher:- very easy u just open the fridge and put a donkey inside

Me:- No u first remove the elephant and then u put a donkey inside

Teacher:- ooohhh OK

Me:- I have another question..

Teacher:- Go on

Me:- If all animal attends lion's birthday party which animal will be missing and why?

Teacher:- All animals coz lion will eat them

Me:- No its a donkey coz it is still in the fridge

Teacher:- u must be crazy

Me:- I'm not,... last question

Teacher:- OK go on

Me:- How will u cross a river full of crocodiles and there is no bridge ?

Teacher:- i'ts not easy I will just use a boat..

Me:- No all the animals attended the lion's birthday party, crocodile must be there too u just swim to cross and go

Teacher:- U föôl get out of my class 🤣🤣
🏃🏽🏃🏽🏃🏽

05/04/2024

In fact I wanted to pay 3 months in advance because I invested all my money with Invest Trust Bank.

05/04/2024

Father Titus has to confess

05/04/2024

Ba Mwamba.

Address

Lusaka

Telephone

+260965829062

Website

facebook.com

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Zed Shooters posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Videos

Ndipo Kwenze Kantu in 2021🤣😂🤣

In the Cholera error

Fear Women, Mary Lungu has just been challenged. It was all fun and games until women joined. 😂😂😂 🤣🤣😂 #trendingvideo

Ghetto Kids and Travis George take the next two spots in Sunday's Britain's Got Talent Final! We can't wait to see you perform once again, congratulations! #tripletsghettokids #britainsgottalent

Summarized version of the current fights between the church and BOMA

This is what Seer 1 had to say sometime back. Uwafitala Akaimwena😂🤣🤣

HOT FM Zambia writes; IN VIDEO Yo Maps Yo comes from under the stage to officially launch his TRY AGAIN album at the National Heroes Stadium last night in Lusaka. The concert was organized by Kwithu FM 93.3 and supported by other partners - namely BigTree Beverages LTD , Yoyo Fun Snacks , betPawa Zambia , VARUN BEVERAGES LTD among others. The stage, sound and lighting was done by Soundwave Zambia