Scripted Thoughts

10/06/2023

It is always about where you’re going, not about who you’re traveling with. When they arrive where they’re going they’re not going to keep going just because you haven’t. Always remember that.

24/05/2023

Things have a way of working themselves out... Keep trying

17/05/2023

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense why people could be so brilliant and talented yet barely getting by, while people not even half as capable as they are, are killing it…

When you’re trying to survive, you don’t have the luxury to chase dreams. It is not an excuse…

06/02/2023

The 📸 and the 📷man don’t make the picture beautiful. The beauty is already there just waiting to be captured.

03/12/2022

Art is what you make it, not what how other people picture it. If you look at it from their perspective, it will forever be foreign to you.

03/09/2022

You are hero...

Not to all of us who don't care, but to those who do care you are a hero. To your parents you're almighty, especially your mom...

Fix something and the whole community will know you can fix that, even if you literally just got all touchy with the thing and by some miracle it worked.

That should tell you that, to your parents, you're more capable than they've ever been.

I hope you're all doing well

01/08/2022

29/07/2022

Talent is not defined by opportunities

19/07/2022

If you get time read the book, it might open your eyes to a lot that you've subconsciously neglected

20/04/2022

19/01/2022

The advice I'll give to my daughter is:

If he falls for you, help him up and ask him if its painful.

If he says yes, she should say, "Please go to someone who you won't have to feel pain to get to, because one day the pain would be to hard for u to bare, and you'll leave me. Than the pain will be passed on to me and I cant have that. Love is suppose to be cheerful not painful."

If he say no, she should say, "Excellent, you a genius at falling. I can't have a professional faller in my life, he'll go around falling and someday slip and fall so hard that he hits his head and forgets his way back home. So I admire your efforts but please go fall somewhere else, your ability is impressive by the way. It's not you it's me, I just can't have that. Sorry."

Some good advice.

20/12/2021

No success knows no challenges... as you progress, don’t let what hinders you prevail.

23/11/2021

Sometimes peace is what you need...

16/09/2021

Things are only useful when they are beneficial to us...

Make friends with people who love you...
- You say that to protect yourself from the hurt that you’ve encountered due to being friends with people you love. To protect yourself you put those who love you at the very spot that you’re running away from. You do them what you’re afraid will be done to you. How better are you from the people whom you love that you’re avoiding?

Don’t expect what you do for others to be done for you...
- This is usually said when people have gone miles for others and got nothing in return, it is generalized as a safe haven for those who have been wronged, it’s the line they use to make themselves feel better. It was a choice at the end of the day, it was your choice. If a person robs people for a living, do you think that person would expect to be robed? If a person doesn’t help you at your time of need, do you expect them to not expect you to help at their time if need? This line comes back to back ferociously, yet when you are the first to forget when it’s time for you to expect...

03/05/2021

It's better to be left behind than to be on a boat with a destination you have no clue of.

01/05/2021

Excon

Insert #2

- The Session

I really pictured a woman handling the session. I guess I will have to work with what I am presented with. There goes my charm...
“Good morning.”
He responds with a weird smile.
“Good morning Mr. Thwala, please have a sit.”
Weirdly I go to my sit. Suddenly I am shaking, I mean it just registered that everything I say in here could determine whether I end up in jail or a free man. I mean all my jokes just took a hike. It’s only been a minute, and I already feel the weight of the long day this is going to be.

This couch is incredibly comfortable, this is definitely not one of the government’s facilities. On the not so far side across the room the doctor is sitting comfortably on his chair. With a pen that looks extremely expensive on his hand and a notepad on his lap. He looks ready to initiate the conversation. I guess he is just waiting for me to be comfortable enough before engaging. Let me just look him straight in the eyes, he’ll be obligated to say something. I’m certainly not going to start a conversation with no knowledge of how it’s supposed to go. He apparently has the same idea as well. Well I can’t really maintain eye-contact with an elder, so I throw my eyes around the room hoping to find a spot I can fix my eyes on. There’s too much to look at in here... got it. A painting painted in black, I cannot believe he actually bought a painting with nothing in it, who does that? Apparently he does. Who would paint this? People should just leave arts to people who can actually be creative rather than people who are too lazy to go and look for a job...

After a moment of silence he finally decided to actually say something.
“It really tackles your imagination, doesn’t it?”
I’m lost...
“What?”
“The art piece...”
“Oh...”
Now I have to pretend that’s true. I was taught to never put doubt in something a person loves. It really breaks their heart. Not that they need my approval or anything but not looking down on what they love is showing some form of respect for them. He continues to explain the artwork...
“This piece is a perfect choice for this room. Looking at the many patients who come in with different personalities and preferences, why not give them something to accommodate all of them? A picture of nature will only accommodate environmentalists, while a picture of properties will accommodate the cooperate minded... This way they all get to see what they want to see, by asking themselves what could’ve been there rather than just a blank canvas.”
Now I get it...
“I honestly thought this was a pure waste of money and the artist who painted it, should just go look for a job instead.”
He gave me that weird smile again and wrote something on his notebook. Then faced me again with a question.
“What do you think now?”
“Well... now I think the total opposite, you’ve given me an understanding of the artwork and I think it was quite thoughtful of you to come to such a conclusion.”
Now imagine if I had openly disrespected such a wonderful art piece. I should admit though, I’m not an arts person. How could I have been so blind to such a thoughtful piece of art. I guess I’m good with other forms of art maybe. Though even my taste in music sucks, I’m sure I don’t go as wrong as I went with this painting.

He finally decided to introduce himself so we could get down to business...
“I’m Doctor Ncwane by the way.”
“I suppose you know who I am, so no need for me to introduce myself.” I say jokingly...
Surprisingly he laughs, well I guess my charm isn’t going to go to waste after all. Assuming it does work.
“Do you know why you are here?” He asks, trying to be as casual as he can be.
The new found comfort, just easily disappeared. I’m shaking to the core, yet there isn’t much that was asked. Just a single simple question I very much know the answer to... I don’t know what’s happening. I’ve also never encountered a panic attack, so I cannot for sure say I’m having one. I don’t even know what it is, to be honest.
“I’m here for an evaluation.” I answered hanging my head.
“You do know why right?” He asked again.
I’m not looking at him this time but I am certain we are past the smiling phase.
“I do know why but I don’t fully understand.” I’m choosing to be honest.
“Why is that?” He asked again.
Is this all about questions? I surely feel like I’m in an interrogation all over again.
“I was wrongfully arrested and found not guilty, I don’t understand why I should be doing all of this instead of putting my life back on track.” I wanted to say this yes but not like this... I hope this will stop with the questions.
“You were found innocent? I see.” He says and writes on his notepad.
Wait what is he implying by what he just said?


https://www.facebook.com/Scripted-Thoughts-109043337635453/

Thoughts come to life.

01/05/2021

Do that and you will be surprised how many things you actually see and hear that you miss while talking

28/04/2021

Excon

Insert #1

- Going to therapy

All week long, I’ve been getting texts reminding me about it, people asking me to stay strong. They’re making sound like it’s some sort of trial or something. So fine, I’m going to do it. I’m going to go to this useless therapy. I’ll get there handle my business and get out. My session starts at 10:00 and it’s 06:28 but I’m already up. What am I going to do with all these hours on my hands? Oh and not forget that I should avoid anything that could cause me stress. So best thing to do right now is go back to sleep... I don’t understand what I’m anxious about it will all go well. The therapist will ask me questions and I’ll answer, then the state will see I’m a good person. I don’t deserve being locked up...

I know myself too well, if I sleep now. I will be late for my session. So I better get up. The rule I set for myself is not to engage in any form of socialising. I mean I can converse with a person mildly and they’ll ask unnecessary questions and s**t will hit the fan. On the inside I learnt that you deal with a person, teach him a lesson before he can walk all over you. That way you won’t have to deal with everyone else. It’s more like hitting a million birds with one stone. Even theoretically, that sounds absurd but it is what it is. Most people who are feared aren’t feared because they go around beating up people. They are feared because they have a nasty quick reaction to bulls**t. So if someone says anything remotely interfering with my peace today. I’ll deal with them. My new way of peace is dealing with the situation.

So I’ll get up bath and clean and eat and go. No, I’ll eat and bath and clean and go... no. I’ll clean and eat and bath and go... yeah that’s it. I’ll do that and be there waaay before the session starts... get to meet some pips with the same problem. Maybe it’s like those AA meetings that I always see in movies. I’ll get up and say my name is Max Thwala and I am an excon. Then take my seat feeling all proud of myself for participating, that’s the whole point of those things anyway, participation. Then we get out, a nice girl walks up to me while I pour myself a drink and she sparks up a conversation with a weird out of jail joke and we both laugh, me for the craziness I’ve just got exposed to, her for the fact that I find her jokes hilarious. Not a fact actually as it’s what she’ll be thinking, not what’s actually happening. The fact is neither of us will be laughing at the joke. Then we’ll look for common traits, find interesting things about one another. Be a happy couple for a moment. Then the fights will start and she’ll be like you never laugh at my jokes anymore, in my defence I’ll tell her I never did and she’ll go on and on about how I’ve never loved her and how much I’ve changed. How she was just a passing phase in whatever it is that I’m doing. Then we’ll break up and end up in the same meeting talking about how hard it’s been outside of prison, how much we don’t fit in... how people use and dispose us. It’ll more like a couple’s therapy then the bring and share it currently is. I mean usually people bring and share food and in these things people bring and share problems as if they don’t have enough already. I actually think it’s designed to make people feel better by how hard the others actually have it. I mean imagine getting there and saying...
“The bank froze my accounts and the process is taking forever to get reversed.”
Yet only talking about two or three weeks. Then the next guy says...
“My soon to be ex wife took complete control of everything for the sake of our business, so we wouldn’t lose our investors by being associated with a criminal. Then when I got out, she claimed to fear for her safety and I was served with a protection order. My family wouldn’t shelter me as I chose her over them.”
Then he takes a sit. What do you do then? You realize you actually have no problems at all and feel sorry for this guy. Then the hosts mission with you is complete.

I look at the clock and it’s 8:30. S**t! Wasn’t it 6 a minute ago. I should hurry so I can arrive on time for my session. Oh yeah, I spent so much time fantasising about a group meeting yet I’m going to a private session. It’s actually a mental evaluation, but therapy session sounds nicer. So I’ll get there and hang my head on one end of the couch and my feet on the other. For comfortability of course. Then she asks me...
“Sir, do you know why you are here?”
And I’ll answer with a big smile on my face.
“I’m the new tribe leader and you are my first subject.”
The she laughs her lungs out and I walk out of there a king. Never having to go back there again. So I’m counting on you my charm. Today is the day you don’t let me down.

***

I would say thank god for the taxi driver but I’m still late. He tried yes, but not hard enough. I mean aren’t they always cutting traffic, driving on yellow lanes and all of the things they shouldn’t do? Why don’t they do that when it actually matters? Pretending to be saints sticking to speed limits and going with the traffic making us read stickers saying...
“Please don’t rush me. You are late, I am on time.”
“On time my foot. You always almost kill us if we’re not rushing so just flipping step on it already.”
How I wish I could say that... anyways I’m here finally. Thank goodness.
“Hi, I’m here for a 10 O’clock session, I’m sorry I’m late.”
She is not irritated, that’s a surprise.
“Please take a sit, I’ll let the doctor know you’ve arrived.”
Did she just say doctor? I’m not here for a brain surgery. I’m here to prove I’m psychologically viable or whatever.
“Did you say doctor?”
Ohk the usual look is on her face
“Yes, you are here for the therapy session right?”
What a relief. She laughs realising my new found freedom from the confusion, as I go to take my seat. She is nice though, I also didn’t see the coat of arms when I entered. This is definitely not a municipal facility.
“Mr Thwala, the Doctor will see you now.”
I get up and point at the only other door here besides the one I entered in and she nods. I enter.

I really pictured a woman handling the session. I guess I will have to work with what I am presented with. There goes my charm...
“Good morning.”
He responds with a weird smile.
“Good morning Mr. Thwala, please have a sit.”
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Repost

14/04/2021

Don’t miss out

12/04/2021

We are all good people

Not meeting someone else’s standard of how your life should be, is not a crime.
Not living up to the potential that people see in you, is not a crime.
Not being a good person according to other people, is not a crime.
Not living your life the way that other people will be comfortable with, is not a crime.

We are all good people... well at least to someone...
No matter what we do, some people will never judge us for what we’ve done
We are all good people... with the exception of no one.
We are all good people... even if the number of people who think so is one.

When I say one, I mean anyone, you are not excluded.
When I say one, I mean even if it’s just you, you opinion is needed.
When I say one, I mean even if it’s just a kid, it’s included.
When I say one, I mean one is all that is all that is needed.
Don’t base your life on feedback, because that is something you cannot control.
You live in a world filled with differences and you can never please them all.
Don’t let your heart shatter, you’re personally abusing your soul.
Make sure you’re steering clear, because people are the obstacles between you and your goal.

We are all good people... well at least to someone...
No matter what we do, some people will never judge us for what we’ve done
We are all good people... with the exception of no one.
We are all good people... even if the number of people who think so is one.

We sometimes take a chance and expect it to not disrupt our current lifestyles.
If we’re so happy why are we even trying things we should be away from by miles?
We’re too drawn to being idle and yet on earth we expect heaven.
When we depend on other people’s opinions, we’ll only ever count from six to seven.
While watching our peers go all the way to eleven.
Then they’ll assure you that you shouldn’t feel pressure, it’s ok to be a seven...
Do you blame them? If there’s no seven then who would ever suck up to eleven?

We are all good people... well at least to someone...
No matter what we do, some people will never judge us for what we’ve done
We are all good people... with the exception of no one.
We are all good people... even if the number of people who think so is one.

Stay on your lane and appreciate your accomplishments.
While others celebrate a new car, be happy to celebrate a new pair of sandles.

Your pace, your rules.

We are all good people... including you.