My 5am Story

My 5am Story This is my 5am Story, what’s yours? You can live in my past, but you won’t find me there.
(26)

16/12/2023

I’m a firm believer that both men and women should learn to cook at least half way decent. At least enough to take care of themselves and/or family. Makes me so proud that my 8yr son has been asking us to teach him. Earlier today he legitimately cooked himself some eggs (even cracked the shells himself) and made an egg sandwich for his dinner. That boy is gonna grow up just fine.

15/12/2023

Soooooo. About 2:30am, phone was laying on my dresser (not over edge at all) and then went flying slamming to the ground. A minute later I heard a whisper say “Paul.” Umm cool. So guess who has been awake since then? 😳😩

It hits different when the decision if you’ve been “naughty or nice” takes place in person 😳
13/12/2023

It hits different when the decision if you’ve been “naughty or nice” takes place in person 😳

13/12/2023

Tonight I had an incredible urge to take a shower and then have a bowl of cereal (haven’t had cereal is many years). This getting older stuff is weird man 🤷‍♂️

29/11/2023

Went to the doctor this morning and after describing my symptoms, she looked me right in the eye and said “pfft, sounds like a man cold.” She was joking but it was awesome. People are so afraid to joke around like that these days for fear of offending others. It was really nice to hear something like that but also sad that it’s now so rare. I appreciated that moment.

28/11/2023

Having to parent while full blown sick should be illegal 🤔🤨🤦‍♂️

27/11/2023

Goal for 2024: Get into Mensa. Wish me luck!

23/11/2023

Happy Thanksgiving folks. May your hearts and bellies be full!

20/11/2023

Has anyone purchased the Paw Patrol movie? We did a couple days ago and something changed. Today the characters have British accents, but they didn’t a day ago. I can’t figure out what the hell happened 🤔🤨🤨

18/11/2023

Kid Agents #1 and #2 just had their first sip of Coke. The looks on their faces went from “suspect” to “huh” to “interesting” to “yum.” It was a rollercoaster of emotions apparently 😂

18/11/2023

Ok so I’ve been thinking about writing a book about parenting. Would be from my own experience. Would include both funny and serious moments. Is that something that would interest people? The support of folks on this page are very important to me. Please let me know ❤️

18/11/2023

Anyone still picking at their kid’s Halloween candy? Umm, asking for a friend… 🧐

16/11/2023

Looks like a black crayon went through the wash and dryer today. Half the kids clothes were ruined. Ugh 😞

16/11/2023

On the ride to school this morning, my 6yr old and 7yr old had a debate on whether or not Princess p**p is pink and covered in glitter. After hearing both sides, I’m honestly still on the fence 🤷‍♂️

15/11/2023

Sometimes I wish I could step back into the 90’s. Life was simpler then. Support of family/friends was all around. The music spoke directly to your soul or heart, depending on where you needed it. Social media wasn’t a distraction. We could spend the whole day outside exploring without fear of any danger. The cartoons were better. The food was healthier. The stars seemed to shine a little brighter and the world was much less crazy 😞

13/11/2023

It’s no secret that parenting is hard. Every once in awhile everything falls into place. They behave, eat all their food, and play nice together. It’s days like this that make me lean strongly towards keeping them 😬

12/11/2023

I’ve had multiple family and friends serve this country in the armed forces. I’m so honored and proud for the things you’ve done. Wish you were “celebrated” more than a day a year. Your fight has kept my family safe and I can never fully thank you. Much love and respect to you all ❤️

11/11/2023

Just watched a piece of food exit my 4yr olds “yapping mouth” and crash land somewhere on my plate. My plan for the rest of the night is to shower in a fetal position and rock back and forth streaming tears for anywhere from 7-12 minutes 😩

09/11/2023

Dear sleep,

How have you been? It's been awhile since we've talked. Not a day goes by where I don't think of you or remember the good times we had. I won't lie, it's been tough moving on without you and nights seem to be when I miss you the most. That day you left, all my dreams left too. I'd give anything to have one of our classic midday naps...those were the best. And yawns, well they mean nothing to me anymore. Often times I see you when I close my eyes, but you're gone again once they open. I hope you're happy with the choice you've made, and the bed that you've made. Now you get to lie in it. Pfft, must be nice!

Fun times in the Fall ❤️
07/11/2023

Fun times in the Fall ❤️

06/11/2023

Showed the kids some old photos of me without facial hair. Their reactions:

“Eww”

“I never want to see that again”

“Is that really you?”

“I can’t look”

😑Well I guess I won’t be shaving anytime soon…😂

I’m curious how hard a child must brush to launch toothpaste almost up to the ceiling 🤔
03/11/2023

I’m curious how hard a child must brush to launch toothpaste almost up to the ceiling 🤔

No comment 😏😏
31/10/2023

No comment 😏😏

Cuz sometimes you gotta multi task 😜
29/10/2023

Cuz sometimes you gotta multi task 😜

You know who you are 😝
26/10/2023

You know who you are 😝

20/10/2023

Happy to report that all 3 kids did amazing getting their flu shot and Covid vaccines today. The girls were a bit nervous but Noah volunteered first. I think watching him put them at ease. They were all cheering each other on and not a single tear was shed. Those three are amazing little humans ❤️

20/10/2023

This morning I get to bring 3 kids (7 and under) for 2 shots each. What could possibly go wrong? 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️😳

It doesn’t matter if you are in a hurry, if they ask to help, you let them. There won’t be as many opportunities in the ...
18/10/2023

It doesn’t matter if you are in a hurry, if they ask to help, you let them. There won’t be as many opportunities in the future

16/10/2023

The World has gone mad. I hate that my kids will one day have to face it. I really hope the alien invasion happens before that day

Can’t believe it’s been 13 years since you decided to leave us. The world has soured since you left but we still keep on...
10/10/2023

Can’t believe it’s been 13 years since you decided to leave us. The world has soured since you left but we still keep on going. Wish you were here but hope you are at peace where you are. Dad should now be there with you. Try to keep the peace. Miss and Love you little brother ❤️

09/10/2023

How much wood could Chuck Norris chuck, if Chuck Norris could chuck wood? He would chuck all the wood that Chuck Norris could, if Chuck Norris could Chuck wood!

Spirals can be bad or they can be beautiful. I think it depends on which way you decide to spin. I’ve decided mine…
06/10/2023

Spirals can be bad or they can be beautiful. I think it depends on which way you decide to spin. I’ve decided mine…

04/10/2023

Found a couple white chest hairs. That probably means I’m just dehydrated right? Right!? 🤦‍♂️

Decided to mix it up a bit tonight 🦖
29/09/2023

Decided to mix it up a bit tonight 🦖

28/09/2023

The kids were so excited on the way to school because it was extremely foggy out. I love that they can still see the wonders of the world ❤️

Any guess which one of these lunches at work is mine? 🤷‍♂️
26/09/2023

Any guess which one of these lunches at work is mine? 🤷‍♂️

26/09/2023

(Kaya singing random words)

Me: What are you singing? Are you making that up?

Kaya: I made up a song but I’m not singing for you, I’m singing for ME!

Me: ….

Kaya: Ugh, now I got to start over!

Me: Yeah start over and also I hope you forget the words!

Kaya: ….

Me: ….

Kaya: I forget nothing

😳

No matter what I’m going through, when I wake up to something like this, I know it’s going to be okay ❤️
23/09/2023

No matter what I’m going through, when I wake up to something like this, I know it’s going to be okay ❤️

15/09/2023

In the school pickup line and I’m watching this white butterfly “dancing around” while everyone else is staring at their phone 🤷‍♂️

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Little outdoor therapy today. The hills were literally moving. Good for the soul…

M’lady got me this for Christmas so I can play my dad’s old records. The way music is supposed to be played ❤️

Wouldn’t expect anything different from my child 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤣🤣

Every time!

She’s come a long way ❤️

*Innocence* Fun fact: I’m incredibly blessed 🤗

*Witches be real* Fun fact: at the end of the video you see me legit tripping on the corner of the couch. I went barreling into a wooden bench. Luckily my “dad save” instincts kicked in and I was able to toss her to safety 🥹

At least she’s sorry 😝

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