Lily's stories

02/11/2024

Trauma can transcend into addiction and evolve into a broken marriage.
The cycle seems to be a very cage like activity of keeping you bound. Wake up people.

02/11/2024

31/10/2024

Reading more on the book concerning trauma and am discovering how trauma damages the brain fight or flight response. Would go live again. Watch out for that.

I mean, psychologist have done profound work in identifying symptoms, brain damage and worse health challenges that can affect an individual.

Don't roll your eyes and think trauma has not shaped our world on many levels. Worse, don't even believe the idea that trauma hasn't damaged our family system.

This is not some theory of ...why are you bringing scientist, or psychologist or masters degree people. This is highlighting our world, Our society, our children, you and I.

Just look at the state of the economy and how people have been impacted. Look carefully and really see. Aren't you seeing the trace of trauma. The footsteps of hurt, pain and suffering. If you are not seeing it. Then I hope you really see. You have to see. You have too.

Part 2 Facebook live would perhaps be tomorrow. I urge you to see.
Make sure to check out the live on my personal page Lily Membu

29/10/2024

28/10/2024

When someone has violated your temple. There are consequences that linger.

Anger lingers, shame lingers, weakness lingers, wounds lingers and it creeps into your friendships, your marriages, your family blood line and more.

Do not play with traumatic experiences and do not dismiss it's power.

Your family blood line should be taken into account, your actions should be taken into account, what has happened to you should be taken into account.

Every traumatic experience is intended to destroy you. Marriages now are struggling to find sanity, children are displaced, poverty is leading to abortions and various incidents.

This is not a joke . Trauma is real. It's an infection. Its a spirit. It's not here to play with you or laugh with you.

22/10/2024

IF LIFE AND PEOPLE HAVE WOUNDED YOU. DON'T LET GO.

This is currently 2:22am in the morning. People are sleeping and am sitting up listening to a song. I decided to type this.

Don't let go. Hold on to God.
Don't ever quit.
Lily, but I have gotten pregnant out of wedlock.
Lily, but I am depressed.
Lily, I have made tons of mistakes.
Lily, I don't have a job and am the eldest child.
Lily, you don't get it. God doesn't hear me. It's useless. Am a lost cause.
Lily, am not married yet and I have past 30.
Lily, I don't have a child yet. God hasn't heard.
Lily, Life is hard and it's not making any sense at all. God has forsaken me.
Lily, God doesn't love me anymore.
Lily, I have abused people.
Lily, I can't see the light.
Lily, I am a single mother.
Lily, I am fatherless.
Lily, nobody understands.
Lily, everybody has rejected me.
Lily, nobody loves me.

God wants you to be in the most broken state but he wants you to kneel and look up.
He wants you to look up to see his hand and his embrace.

My voice was stolen by the devil. He backed me in the corner and repeated my journey in life that I slammed the door against. And he laughed in my face and told me .
Well, Lily where is your voice?
He screamed in my ears and laughed and said, Lily where is your voice?

With torn skirts, with bruises in my heart, with blood dripping down my wounds. With my back stained with whips from the enemy.
I couldn't walk. I couldn't even look at my face in the mirror. My face was all bruised. The sword in my hand was stripped from me. I laid on the battle ground wounded. My armor was stripped from me. I lost everything.
My voice, my sanity, my confidence.

But in the midst of my state, I remembered the one who healed me. I remembered the one who gave me my voice. In my wounded state and broken ribs, I whispered, Lord help me. I need you. Would you allow this to be the end? I want to rise again. I want to fight. I don't want to give up. This can't be the end.

The Lord heard me and helped me.
It was a gradual process. There were doubts on the journey to healing. I was afraid to get up knowing I was wounded. But I got up, with the strength of the Almighty. Is it all of a sudden perfect? No!
Is it getting better, yes.
Does it require my constant surrender.. yes.
My strength remains as long as I surrender.
If I give up and don't surrender. I drown. I die.

Now look at the picture below you.
Weary bones can be beautified again with the touch of the Almighty.
Don't let go. Hold on.
I repeat, don't let go of his hand if you are sinking. Even if you can't sleep at night and it gets frustrating. And you cry yourself to sleep.
Look up and reach for his hand.
He will help you.
He will sustain you.
My sword is back in my hand. He gave me my sword back and is still dressing my wounds.
My voice is back.
My sanity is back.

It was never gone in the first place. The enemy just injured me. That's it. He just injured me. He can't steal the strength of the Almighty. You can't quench the strength of the Almighty. You can't destroy a seed God has planted.

So listen to me...

Don't let go if you really want to stand again.
Don't ever let go and don't ever doubt his restoration even if it takes years to see the harvest of it. Don't give up when it gets worse, look up at the father. Look up at your lover. Look up at the one that can walk on water.
The one that can speak to stormy seas.

Don't beat yourself down, just look up.

It can't last forever. Don't let go. Just surrender.

#

14/10/2024

Kindly check out the YouTube video I made.

My name is Lily.I just wanted to really highlight the dangerous side of being a victim of circumstance.If you would like to reach out to me.You can contact m...

11/10/2024

FROM GRASS TO GRACE OR
FROM STARVATION TO DEATH.

I just watched a video of a man starving his son to death by only giving him small bread once day. Yes, you guessed right. He is divorced from his wife.
I keep on sounding the alarm on this, children suffer more when the home is in shambles. I don't care if other people had success stories. That's not the point. Children suffer.

The worst part of it, He filmed the entire video of his son being starved. The son will wake up in the middle of the night begging for bread. The son is visibly looking lean and weak in the court video evidence and I was just disgusted.

I know Nigerians now will come with the typical excuse; oh you know, other people survived dysfunctional households so this young boy should survive too. Odiegwu.
You know the worst part of it all. The man remarried. And the 4 year old boy lived with his father and his new wife- stepmother and was starved. To DEATH!!!!!!.

Surveillance footage revealed that he was filmed in his room crying and begging for food to eat. Even when he went over to live with the biological mother since it's a co-parenting situation. The father would say. Oh just feed him bread. This boy was filmed by his father on multiple occasions begging for bread and sneaking out at night to open the fridge to eat.

We have all gone completely nuts in our society. Completely nuts. This child was filmed by his stepmother begging for something to eat, sneaking out to drink milk and to grab whatever he can find in the kitchen at night. He was also filmed crying in his room due to starvation.

The boy don die oo. The boy don die. After Nigerians would be preaching " ENDURE". Other people made it through in a similar situation so you should endure. Shebi the boy don endure don die now. This nonsense has to stop. This abuse has to stop. This maltreatment and suffering has to stop!!!!
The father is in court now being prosecuted
for death by starvation and he is facing life in prison and the videos are evidence. I would never understand the justice system. Pikin don die, evidence dey say the stepmother and papa na I'm do am. You still want to do trial on top the boys death ranging for months before you sentence the father to life in prison. I would never understand it. Well, I guess I can understand it. You need to have a trial no matter what. It is part of TRUE JUSTICE.
But it's painful.

Just imagine the impact of broken homes. Mama and papa don separate, divorce finish.
Na pikin Kon suffer am. Pikin don starve now kon die. Mama and Papa plus stepmother, three of them dey alive oo. Yes oo, I am typing in pidgin so you would know am pi**ed off.
Innocent children would bear the consequences of adults who could have just chosen to do the right thing.The only thing that comforts me is that, that 4 year old boy is in heaven. At least Jesus would give him the love and comfort he needs.
This is why I am an advocate of "I REFUSE TO ENDURE ABUSE".
Whether it's a child or an adult, there is no endurance ministry in it. Nigerians would say,
Endure. Other children did it and they survived.
Well good for them oo. But everybody's story is not the right kind of story for you. Let me repeat that again. Everybody's story is not the right story for you. A child can endure starvation and become a successful human being tomorrow. Good for that child. We thank God for sustainance, but other children CAN DIE BECAUSE OF ENDURANCE MINISTRY.

My brother's and sisters. I am not even going to say, do what works for you in this matter. My entire point is, WRONG IS WRONG. RIGHT IS RIGHT.

There is nothing like putting endurance in it to spice it up so that we can say, from GRASS TO GRACE story. I refuse such doctrine. Am happy for those children that went through similar conditions and went from grass to grace. But this child went lower than the grass. At least grass dey chop manure. HE WAS STARVED TO DEATH. There is no grace there at all.

In summary, I refuse to condone abuse. In whatever form, and I refuse to add endurance spice on it so that we can say, oh from GRASS TO GRACE. God forbid such grass to grace story. This is from starvation to death!!!

This is complete wickedness. Complete insensitivity. Complete EVIL. And I refuse to preach ENDURANCE MINISTRY TO CHILDREN FACING SUCH FORM OF ABUSE.

Anyways am done talking. Let me carry my typing hands and go..

27/09/2024

Hello 👋.
My picture makes sense right?

Yeah. But how many smiles excudes pain around you that you haven't noticed?
I was watching a documentary on prostitution.
And I realized the different dynamics that contributes to this act.

From childhood trauma to abandonment, to relationships, to domestic violence, to drugs, to HIV/ STDS and some to death.

I saw girls give birth to children without fathers. I saw girls beaten up and violated. I saw them smoke drugs till they went nuts. I saw the children of these girls nurse from the breast of a wounded damaged mother.

The documentary held weight. Even the journalist wept in it while describing and filming. Very much unlike journalists.

Now am bringing it home. How many daughters are in your family line that you have paid attention too? How many s*xual abuse went right under your nose?

What about the marriages in our society? How many of us protect the children from abuse?

How many women are wearing the skirts but underneath is scars and pain?
It's good to sound the alarm of the truth and the power of the truth.

But let me ask? What hinders the truth?
How many lies and snakes have we targeted. Or are we pointing our weapons at the wrong front and not facing the real battle underneath.

I saw girls who could have been my cousins, sisters, nephews, in a deep state of despair. Children with mothers who have introduced them to a life of prostitution, drugs and poverty.

And yet we say. We stand up for the truth.
What is the truth actually?

Is the truth covered or illuminated? What about in our organizations. Are we covering truths?

What truth do we stand for? Are we against prostitution or the reason behind prostitution?

Where is the weapon pointed at is it the soil or the crop? Is it even the watering of it?

What truth do you stand for? What does that truth you stand for say about the lies in the society?

11/06/2024

SHE HAS COMMITED SUCIDE AND THE SOCIETY WATCHED HER DROWN.

Please ehnn, if you are reading this and you can't handle hard topics. Just exit now.

This young lady was interviewed on a podcast and she confessed to sleeping with getting dogs and influencing the dogs to perform s*xual interactions on her.

She said it all started when she was young, a man s*xually abused her and forced her to service him, and if she tells anyone , he will kill her. This happened at five years old. The sister of the man found out after catching them in the act.

The sister of the man then told the little girl, if you don't want me to tell your grandma that this is what you are doing, you will have to perform s*xual interactions on me as well.

So when you finish with my brother, you come to my room and start with me.

This five year old girl surrounded by demons in human skin, obliged and spend her childhood and teenage years doing that and she plunged deep into s*xual addiction.

When she finally became an adult and moved out, she got into prostitution, from prostitution, got two dogs to service her privately in her apartment.

This podcaster invited her to get an overview of her life and this girl, now a woman, described how she can't seem to stop herself from getting serviced by her dogs and described how the addiction started.

When the podcast was released to the world, everybody was horrified. Typical Nigerians, horrified at someone in despair. I don't know, maybe it's because I have worked in a psychiatric department in a hospital so there is nothing under the sun that I haven't seen, witnessed or navigated.

This podcast was released and everybody bashed her for being serviced by her dogs, even the podcaster that was interviewing her never for once showed deep concern for her, because she is in a cage, she just doesn't know it.
Everybody just bashed her and milked her for information, uploaded it on the internet for views and that was it.

The lady got wind of the social media backlash and committed su***de.

Now the same audience who was horrified and bashed her, now has retraced their steps and started lamenting on why nobody could have helped her.

If I had a sword, God knows what I would do. That sword would be pointed straight at the society. You all are hypocrites and insensitive. No single atom of empathy or sensitivity.
Someone has confessed their darkness, confessed their prison and despair, crying for help on a public platform and everybody spent their time commenting and bashing, no one reached out or wanted to do something to help.

That lady is dead and the society and every single one that bashed her, you all have BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS.

As I said, if I had a sword, God knows who that sword would be pointed too. People are dying and in prison. People are suffering in darkness. People are hurting and in pain. And we walk past them and bash them, ridicule them and torment them because their sin is not like our sin.

That girls blood is crying and that blood will testify against them on that day. Society is insane.

We are all insane at this point. What kind of heartless empty souls do we have that nobody wants to extend a hand to someone in deep darkness.

I have been through so much in my personal life and seen worse in the world, that I can't even for the life of me laugh at someone's brokenness. I have held patients in my bare hands and comforted them in their broken moments so when I write, I talk from experience.

Society is insane. Humanity has crumbled.
An innocent soul in chains, reached out for a hand to hold and we all walked past her and now she is dead.

This is just devastating to see the state of our society.

It's devastating and heartbreaking.

07/06/2024

Carl letnz said you cannot fight and heal at the same time.

And with my little experience understanding the human dynamic, I can say one thing for sure.

There is a tendency to want to fight the process of healing. Because healing is excruciating. I remember when I worked with a social worker officer at University of Benin Teaching Hospital, we walked into orthopedic ward, where bones get affected as a result of accident, gun shot or any other situation.

Watching people lay down on the bed with extreme pain, sometimes when I walk up to them to do the routine rounds of checking in with them, you could feel the anger, frustration and hurt on their face as a result of pain. Sometimes it affects the way they respond to your question. It even affects how they interact with their family members who come to visit, because pain clouds your reality. It almost makes you see friends as foes. It has that power to dispel deep darkness and despair.

As a newbie, I didn't take much offence, although sometimes it was hard communicating with a friendly countenance only to be met with push back, but I understood the impact of healing on a large scale.

Healing is painful, it's excruciating , and am not talking about healing just physically from accidents, even emotionally as well from life circumstances.

Any therapist knows this, healing is almost like looking at yourself in the mirror and for the first time, looking at your scars, wounds, bruises and all. Staring at them in the mirror and seeing the reality of the horror you have experienced.

Alot of people despise looking at the mirror, because who wants to be confronted with the impact of a wound. Society will tell you, no time, no time, smash the mirror and keep moving. No time to reflect, life is tough, just numb it and keep moving.

That's a very dangerous thing because once you don't stay long enough to heal, you keep fracturing the wound. Like I said, sometimes the doctors will come in and see the patient, while am seeing them and tell them "I told you to hang your leg this way and you put it down" and the patient would lament painfully on how its too painful and the doctor would put emphasis on..

"YOU ARE DELAYING THE HEALING PROCESS"

Dealing with Human beings overall, I have seen how people walk through life delaying their healing process. The more you delay, you make it more complicated for healing to take place.

I hope somehow someone is reading this today to hear me clearly.

Your healing process requires you to endure pain and isolate yourself long enough to look at the mirror.

Carl letnz isolated himself and went to a rehabilitation facility, where he discovered his addiction crisis, coping mechanism and past traumas. He tried to leave the facility up to three times in the middle of the desert because of how painful it was for him to discover the horror of his wounds and how that affected his marriage and ministry. But no matter how painful it was, he endured it and pushed through because facing his demons was important to him than running away.

I speak to you today..Heal. Take the maximum time you have and heal. It's important for your life, your purpose, your decisions and more importantly your legacy.

Jordan Peterson said your level of competence determines your level of impact. My response to that is, Competence isn't just knowledge, real competence is wisdom birthed from healing. This is a very crucial part of competence. Once you have healed, you have the capacity to walk through life differently. You have the immense authority to dispel darkness. Your feet leaves a grass growing with each step.

That's it for today.

Enjoy my face with glasses 🤓.

30/05/2024

I WONDER WHAT OUR PRIORITIES ARE AS A NATION

So I just finished watching a whole documentary on addiction. The addiction crisis rate and how it affects humanity overall. From how it affects the brain, to the actions of the individual to the wide spread of destruction it causes in the family and society overall.

Now, our beloved Nigeria sought to change the national anthem rather than focus on pressing issues prevalent in our society.

On the streets of our country, young men are soaked and reek of addiction to w**d, alcohol and other substance abuse.

Our women are finding themselves in harmful situations as a result of substance abuse.

All manner of crimes and violence is increasing as a result of substance abuse and addiction from domestic violence, to kidnapping,to theft, to murder and all sorts of devastating realities.

And our nation Nigeria doesn't even sit for a second and begin to consider the outbreak of this plague.

And yet we have time to deliberate on how to change the national anthem?

National anthem that won't even add a single cent of importance to our lives nor solve our problems.

I mean sometimes I just wonder, is it that people don't know what leadership and service to humanity is?

Has our selfish goals gotten to the point that it has to be exalted over the plague affecting humanity?

Is our society sane at all?

What is happening?

27/05/2024

So it just happens that I was looking through social media.

And once again, it was circled around celebrities.

I mean, it has gotten to a point I really question, what is the real reason why we have media outlets?

We don't have critical thinking anymore, nor people with solid intellect to dialogue on pressing issues in the society.

It's worse, way worse that we are reporting the breakage of marriages and everybody wants to key into different types of gossips but it gets to the point that am really wondering, where is the burden for humanity?

Kidnapping is still prevalent, still on the rise, I just saw a family shattered because their daughter got pregnant out of wedlock and she was kicked out. Now she is vilified on social media and she is trying to share her story.

The economy is still in crisis and people that are earning lower are still figuring out two and two. Addictions is still on the rise, broken homes is still breaking my soul.

I just saw a report of cult clash and a human head on top of a bridge....I mean what are we doing with all this information?

I mean, just take a look at the statistics of broken homes on social media. Broken marriages is even tugging at my heart. And somehow nobody cares? So what is social media for then? Is it just for gossip, what about human lives?

Or am I insane? Am I taking life too serious to care about the real infection in society or are we just gonna keep feeding the gossips and narratives and no burden cry?

The media exists to serve, that's it...to serve and bring awareness. Where is the dialogue and hard conversations?

23/05/2024

Happiness is a boat that is easily capsized, and the waves are always there. If your philosophy is one of impulsive happiness, then you are not prepared when all hell breaks loose. And all hell will absolutely break through at some point in your life, and you are lucky if it will not be decades. It will certainly be some of it and it might be a lot of it, and for some of you, it is going to be damn near the whole thing. So, if what floats your boat is happiness, you are going to be capsized by the first decent wave. You might ask yourself what you have instead of happiness that might be even more reliable, and I do think that adventure is more reliable than happiness.

-Jordan Peterson.

Adventure is more reliable than happiness...

Well, my response to Jordan Peterson is this.

I agree, but then I wonder how well we humans are ready and capable for the adventure scars or the adventure character snapping tasks that come with it... I mean...many of us love the idea of adventure..

Dream job, marriage, taking up a difficult role of responsibility in life, adulthood, confronting life, confronting the past, dealing with the present etc... But how well can we handle the wars in the midst of the adventure.

Even adulthood is an adventure.... How many of us walk the path of adulthood and we bump our head, our hearts, our minds, time and time again.

Some of us are in total confusion, others are carrying luggages of the past, some are dealing with the present.

How well are we handling this adventure? How well do we see it as an adventure or do we cower in grief and resentment over not getting the happiness we desire.

What kind of steps are we taking in the adventurous path of life?
- Lily Membu.

08/04/2024

Children suffer more when they are emotionally drained and hurt.

I have seen it kill faster than any thing in my life.
-Lily.

13/03/2024

30/01/2024

SLEEPING WITH A 10 YEAR OLD WHILST BLOOD SPILLS FROM THE BED TO ALL OVER THE FLOOR

Again, I repeat. A voice needs to rise.

This man is a popular vendor on social media but behind the scenes was caught sleeping with a 10 year old girl.

The hotel management according to the reports heard a young girl's noise and that was how he was discovered. The room was filmed with blood all over the place from the bed all the way to the floor whilst the man was apprehended and stripped naked, filmed and then handed over to the police.

Everybody is gonna talk about apprehending him for s*xual assault and all. Which is completely what I support.

My concern is the BIGGER ISSUE. Who is mentoring our young men? Who are the parents of our boys? Do they talk about s*xual needs and urges and hormones? Are they plain in talking about self control? Do we talk about addictions and an uncontrollably need to satisfy your flesh in the African home? We don't. All we do is stay away from s*x. End of conversation. If only we had more honest , real truthful talks on the flesh and what it does. On hormones and what it can lead you too. There is no proper father or male figure tutoring young men in honest truth not vague facade on s*x and what it does.

What's worse is our society contributes to this vulgar attitudes, we promote s*x, we promote it in our music videos, in the songs, in the movies, these days s*x is seen and accepted as love, to the point where if you say no to s*x now its almost like you are saying no to love. It's a conditioning in the society.

Another scary thing about this is, how was the young girl coerced? What was the bait? Was it something she wanted in exchange for s*x? How did a ten year old walk alone with a matured man into a hotel room? What was thrown as a bait? What was the conditioning of the mind like?

I have so many questions for the young girl and even the man as well. Yes it is plain evil. Horrific evil. But really our world contributes to this nonsense. Our society celebrates nonsense and we wonder why a human being mirrors exactly what we celebrate.

As for the young girls blood. I saw the whole video and I must say.. our Nigerian society reeks of predators but most importantly un-mentored men. Men that are mentored by s*x motivated music and songs and rap ish. Men mentored in the streets and among friends.

And what's worse is our girls have been conditioned to accept baits. This is the most scary part of it. Our girls are accepting baits in the most scary way.

This is r**e. This is horrific.

It's one thing to lock him up, but we as a society need to abolish these s*x promotion agenda. Men need to be mentored. Our girls need to be protected.

25/01/2024

PAIN

That feeling of knowing it's not right for you but you still chase it. You stab yourself multiple times by trying to convince yourself it will work whereas it doesn't work.

Just came back from literally trekking in an effort to ensure I find answers.

I only found clarity of what I suspected about the multiple pain stab wounds I have been feeling.

But the question is why do I still chase something that hurts?

Common sense would tell me to quit, flee, run, escape. Do something by summoning the courage and leave.

But leaving is like more painful than the stab wounds of staying. It's a delusional brainwashing mindset but it seems true. It feels true.

It's almost like am wrestling with reality and painting my own fantasy.

But my fantasy is filled with smiles on top of tears, comfort on top of pain, appearing happy while dimming my light.
This is the picture I painted. It's the reality I wrestle with.

All those times I was in the hospital weeping and in silent pain, you would think it would have occured to me then but somehow staying lonely was worse than the hurt I felt in those moments, worse than the stab wounds to my heart. It's insane the fights am fighting.

When is it all gonna end, when is this version of me going to be healed? When do I get to boldly let go of the knife in my hand I use to stab my heart?

You would think me looking into those eyes and seeing disgust while I plead for hope would wake me up but I cling still! Just imagine...I cling still.

I cling in pain. I cling in hurt. I cling in bruises.

Am attempting to walk away and take back my essence.

The attempt seems like hell, but I want to go through these hell but most importantly I want to be healed again.

It's hard, my heart bleeds, but is my heart bleeding for that or for allowing myself to be hurt again? Allowing myself to yearn for solace in broken places. Am I hurt deeply because I failed myself again or am addicted to the drug of wanting to be comforted while I get cut on the inside?

N:B This was written from what is going on in the world of young people especially tied to relationships. I wrote this from groanings not for sympathy but so that young people suffering in relationships can find the strength to take back their essence.
-Lily Membu