30/05/2024
1. Ano ang annulment?
Answer. Kapag "annuled" na ang isang couple, idinedeklara na walang bisa o "void" ang kasal nila from the start. In other words, walang totoong kasal na naganap sa kanila. Kaya, pwede silang mag-asawa ulit kasi hindi naman talaga sila totoong kasal simula't sapul. Walang marriage na binubuwag sa annulment kasi walang totoong marriage na naganap.
PS. Ang "annulment" na pinag-uusapan ko rito ay CHURCH ANNULMENT at hindi CIVIL ANNULMENT.
2. Ano ang legal separation?
Answer. Sa legal separation magkahiwalay ang couple pero hindi pwedeng mag-asawa ulit dahil "valid" ang marriage nila. Makoconsider na "adultery" kapag nakapagrelasyon sa iba. Isang MALAKING KASALANAN ang adultery na pwedeng magdala sa atin sa impyerno.
3. Ano ang divorce?
Answer. Sa divorce magkahiwalay ang couple at pwedeng magpakasal ulit kahit na "valid" ang marriage nila.
Sabi ng Panginoong Hesus, "Ang pinagsama ng Diyos ay huwag paghiwalayin ng tao (MARK 10:9)."
Sa divorce, ginagawa na lang "temporary contract" ang marriage imbes na "lifetime commitment" ito. Nagiging CHEAP ang value ng marriage dahil mas dadami pa ang mga couple na magpapakasal kahit hindi pa handa.
"Magpakasal na tayo. Total, pwede naman tayong magdivorce anytime kung gugustohin natin," malamang ito ang magiging usual reason sa pagpapakasal kung magiging legal ang divorce.
4. Papano yung mga pamilyang sirang-sira na?
Answer. Sa mga pamilyang sirang-sira na, meron namang annulment at legal separation. So, no need na ang divorce.
Ipakulong nyo ang abusive partner. May VAWC law po tayo.
5. Diba pareho lang namang naghihiwalay ang couple sa annulment, legal separation, at divorce?
Answer. Oo. Parehong naghihiwalay pero MAGKAIBA pa rin ang case at nature.
Sa annulment hindi nasisira ang SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE kasi wala namang marriage na nangyari in the first place.
Sa legal separation naman, kahit na magkahiwalay ang mag-asawa, eh hindi naman pwedeng mag-asawa ulit kasi ADULTERY yun. Malaking kasalanan yun. Tsaka may chance pang magbalikan ang couple kung sakali.
Sa divorce, sinisira nito ang SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE kasi kahit na valid ang kasal, ihinihiwalay pa rin ang couple at binibigyan sila ng karapatan na mag-asawa ulit which is ADULTERY. Divorce promotes adultery. Divorce promotes sin. Divorce promotes hell.
In addition, mas lumalabo ang chance na ma save pa ang marriage kasi binigbiyan ng right na mag-asawa ulit sa iba.
6. Mahal at matagal ang proseso ng annulment. Kaya, kailangan ilegalize ang divorce.
Answer. Yun pala e. Ang process pala ang problema. So, yun dapat ang i-fix. Dapat gumawa ng hakbang ang kongreso, together with the Church, para mas mapadali at maging affordable ang annulment process. So, di na kailangan pang ipush ang divorce. Kailangan lang ayusin ang annulment process sa bansa.
7. Hayaan na lang natin ang mga couple kung ano ang gusto nilang option. Wala kayong karapatan na manghimasok sa buhay nila. Tsaka, hindi naman lahat Katoliko. Hindi lahat naniniwala sa Bibliya.
Answer: Hindi natin pwedeng bigyan ng MALING OPTION ang tao. Maling option po ang divorce. Kagaya lang yan sa abortion at su***de.
"Sanctity of Marriage" na po ang nakasalalay dito. Kaya dapat kaming mag-ingay against divorce. Kapag binibigyan natin ng karapatan ang tao na sirain ang "sanctity of marriage", binibigyan na rin natin siya ng karapatan na sirain ang pamilya. Kapag sira ang pamilya, sira rin ang lipunan.
For those who are trying to seek research-based evidences showing negative effects of divorce, please read here:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2484939021772534&id=1875469692719473
SIDLAK
THE UNEXPECTED LEGACY OF DIVORCE:
Report of a 25-Year Study
Below is a list of salient findings of the longitudinal study of Dr. Judith S. Wallerstein and Dr. Julia M. Lewis.
1. EARLY CHANGES
Growing up was harder for most of the children during the postdivorce years.
The lives of parents and children changed radically almost overnight, as parents struggled to reestablish economic, social, and parental functioning, while trying to rebuild the tattered social network of their lives.
Typically, the parents themselves became the source of the child’s worry. “Who is taking care of my dad?” was a frequent question.
The consequences of the family’s disruption were especially serious for the younger children. “I need a new mommy,” an anxious 5-year-old insisted.
To her young mind, her loving, devoted mother had disappeared and been replaced by a tense, cranky, unavailable stranger.
Out of their experience of the parental breakup, children of all ages reached a conclusion that terrified them: Personal relationships are unreliable, and even the closest family relationships cannot be expected to hold firm.
Two thirds of the children experienced the multiple marriages and divorces, plus the unrecorded broken love affairs and temporary cohabitations, of one or both parents. Less than 10% of the children had parents who established stable, lasting second marriages in which the children felt fully welcome and included. The frequent discrepancy in the postdivorce adjustment of their parents was also a source of deep distress to the children well into adulthood.
2. LONELINESS AND FEAR OF ABANDONMENT RECALLED
Specific events, including the conflicts surrounding the separation and divorce of their parents, had faded but were not forgotten by these children of divorce 25 years later.
Many cried as they recounted their history and their childhood fears that their preoccupied parents would forget them.
These feelings were especially powerful, decades later, among those who had been 6 years old or younger at that time.
For them, the loss of the parents’ availability was most distressing, because they had so little capacity to comfort themselves. “I remember feeling so alone. I would go for days with no one to talk to or play with.” “I remember being angry at everyone.”
3. MEMORIES OF LOSS AND VIOENCE
These themes were paired with vividly remembered scenes by those who had experienced a parent’s abandonment or witnessed violence between their parents. Those few who were abandoned recalled in minutest detail the last time and place they saw the lost parent.
“I remember the sun striking the patterns on the living room carpet in the late afternoon. It was the last time that I saw my dad. I was 4 years old,” said one 30-year-old woman.
In nearly 25% of the children, memories of violent scenes were vivid and detailed. Their fear and sense of helplessness at that time had been fully retained in their adult consciousness.
In half of these families, the violence began or increased during the breakup.
One 30-year-old suffered with severe nightmares that occurred twice weekly and recapitulated a particularly violent scene in which her father burst into the home with a gun and attempted to shoot her mother but was arrested in time. When told of the dream, her mother explained that it had happened just that way, when the girl was 4. The daughter answered, “I don’t remember it.”
One 34-year-old man described how, at age 5, he would bang his head repeatedly against the wall when his father hit his mother in the adjoining room. Violence was sometimes an overture to s*x for the parents, which the children also remembered overhearing. Although the violence stopped after the divorce was final, the children’s posttraumatic symptoms endured. None received treatment prior to adulthood, when some sought therapy on their own.
4. MEMORY FRAGMENTS
Over half of the subjects reported memory fragments that captured key moments of the breakup or the years that followed. These images intruded into their adult relationships at crisis points.
One woman in her 30s said that her strongest memory of her parents’ divorce, when she was 11 years old, was of her father crying as he walked slowly down the flower-bordered path away from the family home, after her mom threw him out because of his adultery. This memory flashed before her eyes whenever she contemplated leaving her alcoholic boyfriend. By her account, her boyfriend’s tears brought back the image of her weeping father and prevented her from leaving.
Such fragments, which so frequently loomed large in their adult relationships, reflected the suffering of the parent that the child had perceived and internalized.
Although the violence stopped after the divorce was final, the children’s posttraumatic symptoms endured. None received treatment prior to adulthood, when some sought therapy on their own.
