Razor Wire Feels

04/11/2024

E03 Available now on YouTube as well as Spotify and Amazon Music!

Hear the harrowing tale of Yolanda's journey through the depths of addiction, the dope game, prison, reanimation, and her rise into advocating for formerly i...

04/08/2024

The Devil is always in the Details.

The raw creative talent of the incarcerated is unparalleled. Some artists will draw you a colored pencil portrait, easily worth hundreds on the street for a few bags of coffee. Others might write poetry for you, or creat...

03/24/2024

Have you ever had an auditory hallucination and thought that your Claritin Bottle was trying to kill you with a pair of fingernail clippers?

I have.

I've done my fair share of drinking and drugging in the last 34 years of my life. I've done plenty a s**t ton of psychedelics over the years. You name it, I've done it. Acid. Mushrooms. Ecstasy. Bath Salts. Salvia. I've ...

03/06/2024

More rabid text messages about an array of topics from 2n1 Conditioner to Gun Rights and Abortion.

More text messages from the inside of a prison cell during 2022. Topics include Mother's Day, Universal Plumbing, Gun Rights, and More Abortion (It was an abortive year!). I'd like to think this is what most people think...

02/29/2024

GTL Messages Part 2

This is a collection of text messages I sent out between 1/22-5/22.
The array of topics covers, alliteration, caffeine addiction, PTSD, abortion, The future of America, and what not to put mayo on.

Here are some more messages from the tablet. This time from 1/22-5/22. I've been extremely busy with school and work and moving into a new apartment recently and today is the first day that I had a little time to actuall...

02/25/2024

Had quite the humbling moment the other day. I just came home from doing a six-year prison sentence in November. While I was in prison I worked in the kitchen and the COs loved me because I actually worked my ass off. I stole a lot of food, but I worked hard enough that they let it slide. But after a girl I loved more than life itself died from an overdose and I found out by reading the newspaper, I lost the will to work. I didn't want to be there, but it being NC and slavery being legal for the incarcerated, this CO had me locked up for sleeping at work. I did 38 days in the hole for sleeping in the kitchen, despite her knowing what was going on with me. I went to the hole, came back, got high a bunch, and ended up getting caught with some suboxone in the mail system and I ended up going to the hole for an entire year. COVID happened while I was in the hole, and when I got out of seg, it was a whole new world. When I got out, I went back to work in that kitchen. And a week into work after a year in the hoke, she wrote me up for not wearing a mask. I blanked out, flipped a cart of trays over, called her a c**t, and back to the hole I went for another 30 days. Threatening staff, destruction of state property, and cursing.
Fast forward 4 years. Here I am, 4 months sober, just did my 4th and 5th steps last week. I'm also taking a peer support specialist class at a particular residential peer-based rehab program. And I'm in class today and I see this woman. The CO. And I said her name, surprised to see her. And she was even more surprised to see me. Her eyes were as big as saucers. I could tell it kinda freaked her out but I was cool. I asked her if she was working there and she said nope, she was a resident.
And this spun me for a loop. And a few months ago I would have rejoiced in this. Relished in the fact of how the mighty have fallen and that she went from kitchen officer to homeless alcoholic. But it didn't have that effect. It just brought home how indiscriminate this disease really is.

Addiction doesn't care what color you are, where you're from, what job you had, or how much authority you wielded.

It takes you down just the same.

I said I was glad to see she was getting help and let her know that it does in fact get better, one day at a time.

02/19/2024

50 hour Peer Support Specialist training + 40 hour work schedule + 6 hours of ENG 002 = 96 hour week
LETS FU***NG GO!!!

02/12/2024

GTL and their monopoly on communication.

The first time I saw the flyer advertising the GTL Tablets for inmates was in the fall of 2013 during my first prison bid. The flyer said, "Coming Soon! GTL Tablets $44.99!!!". We were going to get tablets in prison. How...

02/09/2024

Tempura Oreos by Redbeard the Great

02/08/2024

Bringing words back and Taylor Swift.

This was shortly after leaving Central Prison and moving up to Alexander Correctional Institution in Taylorsville, NC. I would end up staying there for about 2.5 years. It was modified lockdown, meaning 23 hours a day by...

02/06/2024

Why you shouldn't give children drugs, and how to make drip coffee in solitary confinement.

4/28/20

02/02/2024

Apparently a group of cranes is not called a "c**t of cranes", no matter how much I would like it to be...

While I was doing my year behind the door, I had to find plenty of things to do by myself that would offer the sort of solace that being locked in a bathroom for a year doesn't. If you are considered "Mental Health Level...

02/01/2024

"...While we're talking about the environment. You know what I never hear people talking about?
The biodegradability of d***oes.
How many d***oes do you think are out there?
A couple hundred million? Couple billion?
I'm going with a couple billion. Let's just say, for the sake of science, that the term "d***o" is a broad term defined as "any object or machine that can be safely inserted into ones vaginal and/or a**l cavities with the intensive purpose of causing sexual pleasure". Have to put that last sentence in because people put all sorts of things in places they don't belong.
I digress...
Billions of d***oes. In current use. That's not including the d***oes produced in the last 50 years. They aren't family heirlooms. You don't pass them down to your kids.
"This was your grandma's Jack Rabbit"
No.
They get thrown out. There are probably millions of tons of d***oes sitting in a landfill somewhere. And these things are built to last. Built Ford tough. They aren't made out of recycled paper. They are assembled with the finest industrial strength polymers. We're talking heavy duty d***oes here. Have you ever been to a p**n store? Those things are serious. I've seen d***oes that could double as murder weapons. And those were the ones without batteries. I'm not even going to talk about the ones that require electrical outlets. Or ones that run on unleaded gas."

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I don't think this letter needs an introduction. It goes deep...

01/30/2024

"Prepare mentally for cannibalism"
When push comes to shove, I'm an omnivore.

I know that some of this seems like it bounces around and is out of context, but some parts of these letters were responses to other letters, which I sent home to my mom and are hidden in a box in some corner of a garage...

01/29/2024

Social Distancing Day 279

When the rest of America was on Day 5 of social distancing, I had just hit 279. I remember hearing someone on NPR say, "Social Distancing Day 5". I thought it was hilarious. It was around this time that I had hit my stri...

01/28/2024

The Science of Choking the Sun

This is one of the last letters I wrote while incarcerated. I spent my last few weeks in the hole for failing a drug test. And I knew then that I needed it, because If I had come out the door while still strung out, I w...