Chrysalis Mama/Just Breathe

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Wilmette, IL
Chrysalis Mama/Just Breathe

Chrysalis Mama, founded by Heather Hester, is a community of support and education for parents of LGBTQ+ people.

My BRAND NEW book, Parenting with Pride: UNlearn Bias and Embrace, Empower, and Love Your LGBTQ+ Teen
https://chrysalismama.com/book

Chrysalis Mama is the home of the podcast Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen
https://chrysalismama.com/podcast

01/19/2025

We face many unknowns in the coming weeks and months. There may be times that feel really scary. Remember that you are not alone. Connect with me below for resources and community.

01/03/2025

I'm taking a few weeks to be with my family and enjoy the magic of the season...and to allow my body and soul to deeply rejuvenate after a very heavy year. I've put together a playlist of the top 10 episodes of 2024 for you to enjoy while I'm away. Make sure you like and/or follow Just Breathe so you don't miss any new episodes in 2025! Until next year...stay safe ❤️🌈🎆

12/31/2024

Community is more important than ever before. You're not alone. Your child is not alone. Join here for weekly connection: https://form.jotform.com/241908568512159

12/31/2024

Introducing my comprehensive and VERY timely course - Learning to Parent with Pride! With all of the uncertainty swirling around I just want you to know and feel that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Click on the link below or DM me for more information.

12/31/2024

May the stillness of winter allow you the space to reflect on your year, to allow for deep healing, to celebrate joys big and small, and to connect with others. There will be work to be done in the coming months - remember that you and your loved ones are not alone!

12/30/2024

Whether you've been on this journey 2 days or 2 years, navigating gatherings this time of year can be anxiety inducing for many LGBTQ+ people and those who love and support them. There are lots of extra layers this year which is why I created this *free* guide. Take a breath, peace and empowerment are a click away!

12/29/2024

Navigating holiday gatherings can be anxiety inducing for many LGBTQ+ people and those who love and support them. There are lots of extra layers to the holidays this year which is why I created this *free* guide. Take a breath, peace and empowerment are a click away!

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Hibbard Road
Wilmette, IL
60091

Website

https://chrysalismama.com/

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Videos

I loved being a guest again on my amazing publisher's (@FamiliusPublishing) podcast, Helping Families Be Happy. I share a few tips and strategies for empowering our LGBTQ kids during the holidays. #lgbtq #holidays #inclusiveparenting

Check out the latest episode of Just Breathe with @AransasSavas. I know you will really enjoy and lean into her stories and feel more empowered on the other side!

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You are not Alone

Chrysalis Mama was born out of our family’s journey and the desire to let others know that they are not alone.

When our son came out to us in February 2017, he was 16 years old. While my husband and I were blindsided, we quickly snapped out of our shock and jumped into learning as much as we could and supporting him in every way possible. We learned that he had known since he was 13 that he felt “different.” We learned that the anxiety that we thought at the time was sports related was really him trying to mask his true identity. We learned that our darling son, the oldest of four, the high-achiever and ever the rule follower and pleaser, was absolutely brilliant at living two lives.

Between February-October 2017, unbeknownst to us at the time, the stakes raised in this duality causing his anxiety to skyrocket and depression to deepen. A significant jaw surgery and 30 pounds lighter, we realized the therapy he was receiving was barely scratching the surface. While maintaining good grades at school, he began to spiral: self-harming, smoking pot, drinking and va**ng to ease the pain and intensity of his inner struggle. He was disappearing before our eyes, tortured and filled with self-loathing. Terrified and wrought with worry, we naively thought we could love and support him enough to rescue him from his desperate hell. We quickly realized, however, that we all needed professional guidance.

Surviving a su***de attempt, we took him to an intensive residential therapeutic program in California two days later.

Why am I sharing our story?

Because I know our story is not unique. Because I know my son is not the only teen who has been brave enough to come out to his family. Because I know my family is not the only one who struggles with depression and anxiety. Because I’m tired of everyone putting up a facade. Because it’s time to have authentic conversations about the LGBTQ community and depression/anxiety and support each other. And, it’s why I’ve started Chrysalis Mama, an online platform for support, discussion and resources.

Tips and Resources

1. Get Help. If you suspect or know for a fact that your child or a loved one is struggling with depression, it is not something to be embarrassed about or to worry what people may think - help is available! It’s ok to ask! Anxiety and Depression Association of America, as well as the National Alliance on Mental Illness, are terrific online resources filled with helpful tips, hotlines and a ton of research studies.

2. Remember that we all struggle. Be gentle with yourself and with others. My sister-in-law recently sent me a t-shirt that says “We all Struggle. Choose Kindness.” These shirts support the foundation a dear friend of hers started that promotes random acts of kindness in honor of her brother, whom she lost to su***de. It is a reminder never to underestimate the power of a smile or a kind word.

3. Be grateful. Not too long after our son left for California, a friend introduced me to The Secret. It is basically the study of the Law of Attraction: Ask, Believe and Receive. You may be skeptical, as I was at first, but I am here to tell you it works. Every day he was away, I focused on what I was grateful for that day and visualized him coming home healthy and fulfilled - essentially being grateful for what I wanted for the future. Gratitude is a great practice to center yourself, interrupt anxiety and focus on what is important. Celebrate the little things to keep positive!

4. Don’t give up. Whether your child is struggling with depression or struggling through the coming out process - or both! - it is easy to be filled with overwhelm and fear. The answers often aren’t obvious. It is natural to want just to throw your hands in the air in frustration and give up. Don’t. When a roadblock is thrown your way. Pivot. I promise the solution is out there and there are people who can and want to, help! Advocate and don’t be afraid of your inner MamaBear!

Embracing vulnerability and gratitude, our son has returned healthy, has transitioned well into his senior year, has successfully completed the college application process and is going to NYU in the fall, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, is filled with self-acceptance and self-love.

01/19/2025

01/03/2025

12/31/2024

12/31/2024

12/31/2024

12/30/2024

12/29/2024

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You are not Alone