01/25/2018
The Shed
A breakdown of it's conception, fruition and success
1991 - After spending many years of their lives learning from previous mistakes, a small group of intelligent youths convene and discuss their abject failure. Failure in building a retreat from everyday life; a "resort" of sorts, with the sole intention of providing respite from their parents overbearing rule. In essence, the adolescent version of a vacation home.
When we were kids, (in the 1980's) we had certain freedoms that future generations likely could not relate to. Personally the comparison between these eras are hard for me to wrap my mind around.
We didn't have:
Computers
Wireless...anything, except radio and three channels of television.
Seat belts
Helmets
etc.
I digress. Built as a permanent replacement for every fort, or clubhouse we ever built as pre-teens, The Shed was conceived at a time when it was sorely needed, and, for that purpose. Seeing a need, (like most entrepreneurs,) we collectively decided to fill the gap with a much needed headquarters.
Now, how do you decide on the details of such an endeavor? I believe it went something like this:
Where do we build a place that wont be destroyed?
Build it in someones yard or on their property.
How do we convince that person's parents to allow that?
We manipulate them into believing that their children will be safer at home in the backyard, rather then being out on the "dangerous" roads, while cavorting with their friends.
What do we tell them when they (the parents) accuse us of just wanting a place to get away with certain debauchery, (drinking, screwing, youthful foolishness?)
We tell them the they should have faith in the way that they raised us, and guilt them into giving us latitude on the premise of trust and a need to grow up. Placate their needs in respect to being "good parents." The beauty does not come from deceiving your parents, it comes from letting them deceive themselves. Every parent is afraid, terrified even, or failing in that role. What most parents don't understand is that although lacking experience, their "children" can far surpass them in critical thinking and logic; if said "children" are given only the confidence to do so. In other words, if you are young, still living at home, under 18 young, chances are you can use your parents complacency against them. As your parents have aged, they've also grow tired. Tired of shouting. Tired of disciplining. There egos and self esteem have crumbled under the stress of leadership. With the right hand, offer them what they salivate for... reassurance that they are good parents. They will lap it up like kittens to cream. Meanwhile, with the left hand, feed their blind ego by convincing them that your will is morally and logically enlightened.
Never forget this...
Your parents overwhelming goal is to stop you from doing all the questionable, risky and wonderful things that they themselves did when they were your age. But they're stupid. Their lust for life is dulled by decades of mediocrity, fear, and conformity. Oh, my. I digress yet again.
Find or build a place that you can relish your privacy. Introduce alcohol to the crowd as soon as possible. Use your parents any way you can to achieve your goals.
Next Time:
How to manipulate the forced social interaction of your school to your advantage, and the best ways to fool the cops.
(This has been a presentation of the adolescent mind of John D'Angelo. As I impart my wisdom to the younger generation, I defy anyone to stop me. To you I offer a whole-hearted, vigorous and potent "F**k You.")
