10/10/2024
The Two Hats
Discuss Living and Dying and Cancer
Part 2.
This is the second installment of our discussion with my long time friend Stephen Watson who is dealing with a diagnosis of cancer. Our discourse is about how he is facing these challenges and making use of his Taoist beliefs to make the best of the situation.
Part One can be found here: https://www.facebook.com/share/cCAFVqN34mbFJfqM/
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John: What are some of the things that you are doing to as you say practice dying?
Stephen: Well, in the past I had quite a bit of control of day to day things. When I was in the hospital, I was not in control, food, water, going to the bathroom were not really something I had control of. I had an ah ha moment of sorts in which I saw how even in life we are really not as in control as we think we are. Even though I am not in control I can and do have influence. Having this influence can allow me to participate in the process of the changes that are happening.
John: Can you influence when or if you will die from cancer?
Stephen: Oh, no I did not mean that. We can choose and have some influence in how we die, the way we act or how we feel about it, but not really when we die, no one does that really. I think once we realize it happens practicing dying also means learning to surrender to the moment.
John: So, you think just give up at the moment of death? I am not sure that is what you are saying is it?
Stephen: What I want to be able to do is actively participate in the process of surrendering when I know it is inevitable. It will not be that something is being taken from me, but it will be that I am choosing to release it.
John: So, you would when there is no other choice release, let go and surrender to the moment of death than try to vainly fight against it. That makes sense to me. I do not think most people who have not studied the Dao and other eastern philosophies can easily grasp. Many people are angry when faced with what you are facing.
Stephen: I have learned that anger is born of frustration and frustration arises from having expectations. There is no road to anger if you do not begin with expectations. With my cancer I am working to not have expectations and so I do not resent or feel angry.
John: This is a very Daoist and Zen attitude. It will be very foreign to many people. It seems you are working towards or have already learned to live in the now and not project fears and concerns into a future that does not really exist except in the mind.
Stephen: This is a work in progress. It seems to be the most appropriate way for me at this time as it fits with my philosophy of life.
John: So what changes have you made in your life as you go forward.
Stephen: Really I have changed very little. I made no radical changes. I was not doing lots of things that are bad for me before so I did not change much at all. Some people who are close to me or know me are surprised by that, but I am going forward with life and not letting this stop me from being me. I am on the way or The Path and that is the Dao.
John: So, in Texas when someone says are you ready we jokingly say, “I was born ready.” I think that applies to both living and dying.
Stephen and John: both laugh.
Discover Stephen Watson:
https://www.patreon.com/SomedayFarm
Help a deserving friend.
My long time friend Stephen Watson is dealing with a diagnosis of cancer which is costing him an enormous sum of money. So much so that he may have to sell his home and farm to pay the exorbitant medical expenses. There are many more medical procedures he has to go through to survive. If you can help him here is a link to a GoFundMe page where you can donate. Any amount will be greatly appreciated. Thank You
https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-stephes-cancer-fund-save-someday-farm?utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_source=customer
Stephen was interviewed by Taijiquan instructor Violet Li in the TaichiExaminer.
If you wish to watch the full interview here is the link. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00k9niHcrgg
Discover John Painter:
www.thegompashop.com