I'm Soooo Bored

12/22/2024

🧡

This is Grief during the holidays.
A tangled…
Confusing..

Intertwined mess of emotions.

And the rude realization that..

The world goes on.
Lights are still strung. The towns are bustling.
Neighbors competing for the largest inflatable Santa.
The outside world from your grief looks..
Familiar and almost foreign at the same time.

You can see that the lights are shining but grief has its way of dimming them. Like a filter over your old life.

You hold on to them. And try.

But you are just trying to figure it all out. In a world so different but going on just the same.

But how? When one person is gone…
Your Person.. the whole world feels lonely.

Especially this time of the year.

And even the best display of twinkle lights can’t overcome the darkness.

You think you can untangle one emotion…only to be wrapped up in another..

Exhaustion and frustration sets in..

Wanting so badly to feel some of that old nostalgic feeling and shoving it all back in the storage bin and try again next year.

If you are holding on to this string of emotional confusion this year…

Know you are not alone.

There are many of us trying to figure out how to untangle this relentless sting.

And it’s ok to leave it.
Because you are working through enough as it is.
And pushing yourself to be festive in the most un-festive part of your life is just counterintuitive.

So you can just let it be.

But we also can hold on to the hope of working through some of these emotions in the year to come.

And maybe next year…when you look at your grief..
The shape may be different. You may be open to let some of the twinkle lights shine through the filter.

Just give yourself the gift of grace and time to work yourself through it.

12/15/2024

About a week and a half left before Christmas! 😱 This is a difficult time for a lot of people, especially those dealing with loss and the grief that comes with it. Give someone the gift of kindness and patience and listening. Nothing will replace our loved ones, but just being a presence for someone that is struggling can make all the difference. I am struggling this year to get into the Christmas spirit. Luckily, I have some great people around me that are doing the things that make the biggest difference. Thanks to them, we have a decorated tree. We have gifts. We have some semblance of a holiday season that used to be so important to me. I cannot express how much it means to have people that step up when I cannot. Had this holiday gone by uncelebrated, I would have suffered from major guilt over it later. I have made some adjustments to our typical tradition though, to make it easier for me to function. We will be having lasagna this year instead of a full blown Christmas dinner. I still have every intention of making cinnamon rolls though….🤗 I hope you and yours are celebrating in ways that work for you and your families. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! 🧡

10/21/2024

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schulz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip.
You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them. Just read it straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?
The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies.
Awards tarnish ...
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

09/17/2024

Self affirmation of the day:

"I am capable of achieving my goals"

06/22/2024

Got my first NPQ ProBoard Certificate today…..Hazmat Awareness! One down….lots more to go!

06/06/2024

One of the things that has struck me on this unwelcomed journey of grief is things that happen along the way that you don’t really put a voice to, but you know they are there and you just sit with it. Because that’s all you can do. I walked in today to get my routine mammogram and it dawned on me that I didn’t do it last year. And I rescheduled it 3-4 times this year. I was RELIEVED when I tested positive for Covid because then I couldn’t go. Same for my dental appt. (Which I still haven’t rescheduled). I realized today, part of me is doing this because I don’t care. If I have breast cancer, that’s sooner I can see my Elijah, right? And part of me is scared that if I were to get diagnosed with it, I won’t have the fight in me anymore to stay for my family still here that loves me and wants me here. So we’re going to call today a win. I got my b***s squished. Maybe tomorrow I’ll tackle the dental appt. 💙💚💙❤️🩷🧡

04/05/2024

Got the official paperwork from the state of Georgia! And just for fun we got this, so you will be on all the things going out! 😍