INNformer

10/11/2024

Weather and Traffic
October 11, 2024 9:30 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is FRIDAY, October 11, 2024. Today is National Sausage Pizza Day and Southern Food Heritage Day. So go ahead, see if you can get grits on a slice of Sausage Pizza and have it dropped into the deep fryer.

But first, thanks to everyone who shared their local photos of the Northern Lights last night. Some really spectacular shots!

On this date in 1776 the Battle of Valcour Island took place on Lake Champlain in Northern New York. Considered one of the first navel battles of the US Navy, a small fleet of hastily home-built boats under the command of Benedict Arnold was defeated in the three day battle. While Arnold, who was at this point a recognized American hero, was outgunned his masterful strategy caused the British to put off a planned offensive until the following year.

And in 1883 US and Canadian railroads agreed to use a five time-zone system to standardize time in North America and based on the University of Pittsburgh’ Allegheny Observatory’s time subscription service. In 1869 the observatory came up with the first regular and systematic system of time distribution and would send out a time signal to over 300 telegraph offices and railroad so they could make sure their clocks were accurate.

Until the railroads standardized their clocks, the local time would be whatever the people wanted. It could be 12:15 in one town and 12:37 in another.

No clue if the Allegheny Observatory also sent the temperature along with the time.

Weather:
Sunny today, highs in the mid 70s. Tonight, clear with lows in the lower 40s. For tomorrow, mostly sunny, chance of a shower, with highs reaching into the upper 70s.

Traffic:
Expect delays on Tyler County’s Cross-Shire Expressway (also known as County Route 30/3, County Route 2, Stulls Hill Road, Bearsville- Mole Hill, Big Sancho Road- Big Sanka -on Google Maps) as the Metro Mountain Chamber of Commerce’s Fleece the Leaf-Peepers Festival ramps up. The fictitious festival’s King of the Mullet contest is scheduled for 8 p.m. tomorrow, following the annual Swindling of the City Folk Square Dance.

New Martinsville is still annoying.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command center it’s 42 degrees under clear skies. If news happens today grab a photo for me, I will be inside somewhere painting rooms.

Send a message to learn more

10/11/2024

If anyone takes any pictures of the Northern Lights tonight feel free to post them in the comments! I can't see them to many bright people around me. (Okay, who am I kidding- street lights.)

Send a message to learn more

10/10/2024

Traffic Advisory- Ohio Rt 7 South of Sardis
10.10.24 6 pm.

Traffic is currently reduced to one lane south of Sardis on Route 7 due to a gravel spill.

Send a message to learn more

10/10/2024

Weather and Traffic
Thursday, October 10, 2024 10:30 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is Thursday, the tenth day of October, 2024 and it’s National Angel Food Cake Day. As everyone knows I do these updates when I am procrastinating but lately I haven’t been able to fit that in my mornings.

(And YES, I spelled Angel, Angle. I watched the movie Hot Fuzz last night- for all you who appreciate true humor)

Advertise with the INNformer! Our print edition goes all over Tyler, Wetzel and Monroe Counties.

On this day in 1865 U.S. inventor John Wesley Hyatt, of Albany, N.Y., patents the billiard ball and in 1871 the Great Chicago Fire is put out after burning for three days. The fire caused at least $22 million in real estate damages, $568 million in today’s dollars, and killed over 300 people.

Weather:
Today will be sunny with temperatures reaching into the mid 60s. Tonight’s low in the mid 30s.

For tomorrow, sunny with highs in the lower 70s.

Traffic:
The Sistersville Ferry is done for the season and New Martinsville is still annoying.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center it is 40 degrees under clear skies. And now, it’s back to work.

Send a message to learn more

10/01/2024

Sardis, Ohio VFD accepting donations for victims of Helene.

The Sardis Fire Department will be accepting donations at their fire hall for victims of hurricane/ tropical store Helene until 8 p.m. Wednesday.

They are filling a semi trailer that one of their members will be delivering to North Carolina.

Send a message to learn more

09/29/2024

Bo Hause to retire.
Sunday, September 29, 2024 9:30

Ride the Sistersville Ferry today!

Today, Sunday, Sept. 29, is the last day of the 2024 regular operational season for the Sistersville Ferry and it’s Captain Bo Hause’s last day, with the exception of ferry rentals, as he is retiring.

So head down, walk on (it’s a dollar each way) or drive on and tell Capt. Bo he will be missed!

Ferry runs to 6 pm.

09/27/2024

Traffic and Weather
September 27, 2024 8:51 am

Good Morning! Today is Friday, September 27, 2024. It’s National Chocolate Milk Day, National Corned Beef Hash Day and Hug a Vegetarian Day. But do it gently, they do tend to be kind of scrawny.

If you are running for office advertise with us! If you own or manage a small business or a non-profit, advertise with us! Message me for rate sheet.

On this day in 1779 John Adams was appointed by the Continental Congress to negotiate peace and commerce with Great Britain. But Adam’s prickly personality soon ran afoul with the French and he was named American minister to the Netherlands and Congress appointed Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and John Jay to assist Adams with negotiating.

Johnny Cash fans will remember his song “Wreck of the Old 97.” On this day in 1903 the Southern Railway’s Fast Mail, train number 97, with “Joseph “Steve” Broady at the throttle careened off the Stillhouse Trestle, near Danville, Virginia, and wrecked. He had been ordered to get the Fast Mail, which was reported to have never been late, into Spencer, North Carolina on time even through it had been over an hour late coming in from Washington, D.C. when the engineer took over in Monroe, Virginia.

Weather:
Rain showers continuing this morning, giving way to clouds this afternoon. High 77. Tonight, scattered showers with some clearing, lows in the mid 60s.

For tomorrow, cloudy, chance of showers with highs around 80.

Traffic:
The Sistersville Ferry is open.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center I am un-caffeinated and its 66 degrees under cloudy skies.

And a big THANK YOU goes out to TCSO’s Scott Dalrymple for capturing my two Siberian Huskies early this morning. The two furry menaces got loose and went explorin’.

09/26/2024

BOTANY EXPERIMENT
September 26, 2024

Over the course of the last couple of years we here at the INNformer have made a concerted effort to keep our readers abreast of the latest invasive species threats, either through our serious print edition, Lantern Flies and the Asian not-so-Lady Bugs, to our not serious facebook warnings about avoiding Murder Hornets in bad neighborhoods.

In our ever expanding quest to fulfill our page’s primary purpose, that is to procrastinate, today we have embarked on a new experiment to see for ourselves (and as a warning to you - our readers) how invasive species can get established in the wild and become a menace to their surroundings.

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. We are journalists, and like middle-aged pop singers that make a living singing about all their many mistakes, you should trust us. We know what we are doing. We know the science- although it's Political Science.

The Investigation:

At approximately 4 p.m. today, Thursday, September 26. We placed a common medium sized Dollar General bag on an empty lot and poured approximately 8 fluid ounces of water on it. It was cloudy and approximately 75 degrees out.

Over the course of the next few weeks we will be making periodic checks on it to see if the bag germinates. While Dollar Generals are invasive, we have chosen the location with care. There is a very small chance that our Dollar General bag will cross pollinate with the other invasive species, Family Dollar, and the site chosen is already devoid of locally owned commercial ventures.

Our expectation is that if the DG bag does germinate then it should continue to grow until it is a full sized Dollar General.

And ladies: while I am a handsome devil, I am happily married. Sorry.

09/24/2024

Weather Brief
Sept. 24, 2024 8:47 a.m.

I have to go play on my 12-1/2 ton toy, assuming it will start. So this is going to be brief.

Weather:

Increasing clouds this afternoon. Scattered thunderstorms, some may be entertaining. High in the lower 80s.

Tonight, scattered thunderstorms. Low in the mid 60s.

Tomorrow, scattered thunderstorms, high in the lower 80s.

09/21/2024

Weather and Traffic
September 21, 2024 10:04 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is Saturday, September 21st in the year of our Lord, 2024. It’s Batman Day, a day celebrating the 80 years Bruce Wayne’s alter ego. Not sure why it’s held today, the fictional character first showed in March of 1939 and then the TV series in January 1966. It’s also Miniature Golf Day and National Opioid Awareness Day, like there are people who aren’t already aware of that scourge.

The latest issue of the INNformer is out and available from Hundred, Weztel County, West Virginia- our eastern most distribution point to Lewisville, Monroe County, Ohio, our western most drop and from Marietta, Ohio, Rocky’s Ci**rs to Moundsville’s Cigar Life.

Okay, take out my two favorite tobacconists- it’s Newport/ St Marys in the south and Clarington/ Proctor in the north. Have a business? That’s our distribution area.

I will admit that while I was in Hundred, I bombed up Rt 69 and crossed the Mason Dixon line into Pennsylvania to see if there was a place to drop there so I could claim a three state distribution.

But all I could think about was running into Buggs Bunny. Anyone remember the skit with Buggs Bunny and Yosemite Sam where Buggs crossed the Mason Dixon Line? Probably not.

On this day in 1776, American patriot Nathan Hale was arrested and, after stating that he regretted that he only had one life to give for his country, was executed. The British commander refused to commute his sentence as he was out of uniform and despite a request from Washington.

And in a related incident, on this day in 1780 Benedict Arnold went from hero to zero and his name will forever be synonymous with traitor. He met with British Major John Andre to discuss surrendering the fortifications he commanded at West Point in return for money and a officer’s commission in the British Army.

Andre was later captured and Arnold, the hero of Saratoga- a leader of the capture of Ticonderoga, fled into the night. At the battlefield monument at Saratoga, among the niches that hold the statues of the men who won the battle, a battle with secured our nation’s Independence, is a representation of a boot where Arnold should have been. He had been wounded in the foot during the engagement.

Andre, when captured, was also out of uniform and Washington refused the British commander’s (the same one who hanged Hale) request for clemency.

Weather:
Partly sunny today, possible thunderstorm later, not enough rain to do anything but mock us,, high in the upper 80s. Tonight, partly cloudy with lows in the mid 50s. Tomorrow, sun with highs again in the upper 80s.

Traffic: Sistersville Ferry is open.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center it is 75 degrees under hazy skies.

Later today I will proceed with an experiment. I am going to pour water on a Dollar General shopping bag to confirm that a store will sprout from it. We were told that it was due to a Dollar General bag flying out of the back of a garbage truck and then getting rained on that there is a store out on Rt 20, past Wallace in Doddridge County.

09/16/2024

Weather and Traffic
September 16, 2024 9 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is Monday, September 16, 2024. It’s National Choose Your Chocolate Day, National Cinnamon Raisin Bread Day and National Play-Doh Day. Play-Doh, the non-toxic, non-staining compound, was first manufactured in the 1930s as a cleaner. Kroger marketed it to remove coal residue from wallpaper.

It’s also Stay Away from Seattle Day, although I apparently have celebrated this one my entire life.

The next issue of the INNformer is due out later this week. If you own or manage a business or organization, think advertising!

On this day in 1620 the Mayflower set sail from England for the New World. Onboard were 102 Pilgrims and about 30 crew. For over two months they were crammed in a boat that was 80 feet long, slightly longer than a tractor trailer and 20 feet wide, the width of the travel lanes on Route 2.

During the voyage they encountered storms so rough that two passengers were washed overboard, one survived, one didn’t.

And in 1919 the American Legion was incorporated by an act of Congress.

Weather:
Today will be partly cloudy, highs in the lower 80s. Tonight, partly cloudy with lows in the upper 50s. Tomorrow, cloudy with highs in the upper 70s.

Traffic:
Wick Road, in Tyler County, is closed in Wick for a bridge replacement. I would list the detours but chances are if you are from out there then you know how to get there and if you aren’t from out there giving you directions is worthless because not all the roads are marked.

Important: When you get lost on one of the goat paths don’t ask how to get where you are going, those goats lie, especially the old ones. Keep going, you will eventually end up on Arilla, Route 2 or in Doddridge County.

And New Martinsville is still annoying.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center it is 60 degrees under clear skies. When news hits we will wash it off.

09/14/2024

Don't forget- Sistersville's Oil and Gas Fest today, Parade starts at 1 pm

09/13/2024

Route 2 Closed between Sistersville PC
Sept 12, 2024 9:29 pm

Update: As Sistersville VFD has been released from scene at 11:30, it appears the road has been reopened.

There is an accident on Route 2 between Sistersville and Paden City. Route 2 is currently closed. We don't post information about injuries. Apparently a bottle truck was involved.

If you need to go to or from New Martinsville take 180. ALSO do not post any videos on my page without contacting me first.

The one that was just posted is a virus.

09/10/2024

Weather and Traffic
September 10, 2024 9:15 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is Tuesday, September 10, in the year 2024. Isn’t it amazing how much life has changed in just a generation? Can you just imagine trying to explain to someone fifty, seventy five or even a hundred years ago what it’s like spending a fair percentage of your income on internet that keeps dropping out and how in the middle of writing the Great American Novel, or in my case- writing up last night’s council story- your computer tells you it’s out of memory.

Ah, for the simpler life, like when we all sat around our televisions to watch the three channels, four if you were lucky, and consume Salisbury steak and some version of pasty potatoes? Today’s trip down memory lane is due to it being National TV Dinner Day.

Later this week I am going to sit down at my drafting table and start drawing shirts and mugs with local themes and then find someone local to produce them. It’s time. This will come as a surprise to absolutely no-one who actually knows me: I did screen printing a long time ago and Jerry Seinfeld had one of my shirts on his office wall. I’m told that Kramer wore one during an episode in the second season and Jerry told people during a business meeting with Castle Rock’s product screening company that he loved that “I was so in tune with his humor.” To this day, I have never watched a complete episode.

On this day in 1608 John Smith was elected council president of Jamestown, the first permanent English settlement in North America, making him the first elected leader in the country and in 1913 the Lincoln Highway, the country’s first paved road network that runs coast-to-coast opened.

Weather:
Today will be sunny and warmer. High in the mid 80s. Tonight, good sleeping weather, clear with lows in the upper 40s.

Tomorrow, sun with highs in the low 90s.

Traffic:
Expect delays in Sistersville as our traffic light, the only permanent on in all of Tyler County, will cycle through and turn red, mandating that the traffic on the main north-south road come to a complete stop.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center it is 53 degrees under clear skies.

09/09/2024

Traffic and Weather
September 9, 2024 9:10 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is Monday and the ninth day of the ninth month, Sept 9 for all those whose coffee hasn’t kicked in yet. It’s Teddy Bear Day, International Sudoku Day and the day of which describes my willingness to vote for certain political candidates. Yes, it’s National When Pigs Fly Day. Before you crack your knuckles, oh you brave keyboard warrior, I didn’t say which candidates, now did I?

Isn’t Sudoku a character in the post-enjoyable Star Wars movies?

Some places were cleaned out of last week’s INNformer rather quickly. If you didn’t get one I still have a few here. Message me and I will put one aside. If you are a political candidate reach out to us for our rate card, we have a limited number of spots open.

On this day in 1776 the Continental Congress formally declared that the name of our country be the United States, replacing the phrase United Colonies used in the Declaration of Independents. The differentiation was important as a colony is an area under complete or partial control of another country and a state is a sovereign, self-ruling, entity.

And this is the day that in1947 computer scientist Grace Hopper debuged a computer for the first time in history when she fixed a problem causing Harvard University’s Mark II computer to act up. She removed the remains of a fried moth from the 4,000 square foot, 23 ton machine. That moth went down in the books as the first computer bug.

Weather:
Today will be sunny and pleasant. High’s in the upper 70s.

Tonight, clear with lows in the mid 40s.

For tomorrow, mostly sunny with highs in the mid 80s.

Traffic:
The Sistersville Ferry? She ain’t runnin.’ The Sistersville Fly Memorial Highway Bridge? It ain’t been built. That $200 million thing proposed over the river from Fly to Matamoras? Ain’t no one dumb stupid enough in Charleston to consider it. Route 18 and Route 2? Ain’t no problems except for one thing that ain’t ever gonna change: New Martinsville is still annoying.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center, located just two blocks from the one and only traffic light in Tyler County, it is 50 degrees and sunny. And for those of you who think that my spoofing of traffic is something new, in 2014 I was interviewed by the Washington Post and remarked how proud we were to have the only traffic light in the county, right here in Sistersville.

I should make t-shirts.

09/07/2024

INNformer Facebook Purpose Statement:

Because we caught someone taking a post seriously it's time to once again remind everyone visiting our page that this is used for posting local breaking news, traffic advisories (braking news), weather warnings (sometimes baking news) and, most importantly, for procrastinating (faking news?)

Especially when I have other things that I should be doing.

We do not post the print edition stories online here. Our complete paper is available at our subscription website, movinformer.com

And- sorry to disappoint, we won't include Zombie Alerts in print, unless Zombies start buying advertising. Then we may consider putting them in but they would have to pay a lot and I don't take baggies of anything for payment and detest Mountain Dew.

We take the newspaper seriously, as all print newspapers should be taken seriously. We do not take Facebook seriously and neither should you.

Especially now as there has been a marked decline in the number of funny cat videos and people have lost their sense of humor.

In other words, these posts are to be considered a parody and don't represent what you will see in the newspaper.

Is our little paper worth reading? Pick up a copy and judge for yourself. It’s still free and worth every penny. And while you are at it- please shop with our advertisers

And, by the way, New Martinsville is still annoying.

09/06/2024

Weather and Traffic
September 6, 2024 9:54 a.m.

Good Morning! Today is the sixth day of September, 2024. It’s a Friday, I believe. Today is National Read a Book Day, Bring your Manners to Work Day and Fight Procrastination Day.

I was planning to bring my manners to work today but will probably try to do that burdensome task tomorrow, I think I left them in the same box as my sense of humor and the extra large container of Hope that I think I have around here somewhere. At least I used to have a lot of Hope.

As for the National Read a Book day, go ask your recently graduated child or grandchild if they ever read a book cover to cover while in school and ponder why I have hidden my hope and forgot about it.. That especially goes to the people in that county to the north of Tyler. And I mean a book with type and words, not of the comic variety. .

On this day in 1916 the first true supermarket, Piggly Wiggly, was supposed to open in Memphis, Tennessee. However, due to construction delays, people had to take a rain check until Sept. 11. History neglects to disclose what the squeal deals for the day were.

You may have heard the phrase “Royal Oak” and thought that it referred to a species of the majestic hardwood tree or a color of stain. The origin actually dates back to this day in 1651, when the future Charles II, king of England lost the Battle of Worcester. He escaped capture and ex*****on by hiding in an oak tree, know afterwards as the Royal Oak

Weather:
Some clouds developing this afternoon. High in the upper 80s. Tonight clouds, maybe some showers with a low in the upper 50s.

For tomorrow, mostly cloudy in the morning with temps climbing into the upper 60s.

Traffic:
The Sistersville Ferry is open, the Sistersville- Fly Memorial Highway Bridge was never built and the idea of a Fly to Matamoras bridge is laughable. Other than that, New Martinsville is still annoying.

Currently at our Downtown Sistersville News Command Center it is 66 degrees under clear skies. When we want to hide what we are doing we hold our meetings on a Friday before a major holiday and announce our special meetings after we, and the other guys, go to press for the week.

09/05/2024

Morning all! It's September? What happened to August?

The next issue of the INNformer is going out for distribution today and tomorrow.

Morning updates resume tomorrow.

ALSO- TOM AT HOMETOWN HARDWARE IS HAVING A SIDEWALK SALE.

Anyone looking to replace their downspouts and do basic maintenance stuff in prep for winter should go paw through his bins before I go back and clean him out!

08/31/2024

Severe Thunderstorm Warning
Issued: 4:02 PM Aug. 31, 2024 – National Weather Service
The National Weather Service in Charleston West Virginia has issued a

* Severe Thunderstorm Warning for...
East central Washington County in southeastern Ohio...
Northeastern Pleasants County in northwestern West Virginia...
Tyler County in northern West Virginia...

* Until 445 PM EDT.

* At 401 PM EDT, a severe thunderstorm was located over St. Marys,
moving east at 20 mph.

HAZARD...60 mph wind gusts and penny size hail.

SOURCE...Radar indicated.

IMPACT...Expect damage to roofs, siding, and trees.

* Locations impacted include...
St. Marys, Middlebourne, Sistersville, Belmont, Newport, Matamoras,
Friendly, Arvilla, Alma, Point Lookout, New Matamoras, and Wick.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

For your protection move to an interior room on the lowest floor of a
building.

Torrential rainfall is occurring with this storm, and may lead to
flash flooding. Do not drive your vehicle through flooded roadways.

&&

HAIL THREAT...RADAR INDICATED;
MAX HAIL SIZE...0.75 IN;
WIND THREAT...RADAR INDICATED;
MAX WIND GUST...60 MPH

08/28/2024

LST 325 Sistersville Now.
Aug 27, 2024 8:48 pm

Finally.

08/27/2024

LST 325 Update:
Aug 27, 2024 7:10 p.m.
Through Willow Island about 35 min ago. Should be in Sistersville area soon!

08/27/2024

LST 325
August 27, 2024 3:30 p.m.

As of 330 LST 325 is currently in the Parkersburg area and traveling northwards. She should be passing by Sistersville early evening. I'm guessing 7 p.m. or so. But that's a guess.

08/24/2024

Come see our booth at the Monroe County Fair!

(just where did the rest of the summer go).

Daily non-sense resumes soon!

08/24/2024

08/22/2024

CAPTURED!!!
John Brian Shepherd was taking into custody today by the Tyler County Sheriff’s Office in Tyler County thanks to a tip by a citizen.
We would like to thank all those who helped with information. Countless man hours by our deputies went into this manhunt!