07/08/2024
I've been reflecting on my relationship with Christ and wanted to share something from the heart. I love Jesus with every fiber of my being, but my journey hasn't always been smooth. Sometimes, it feels like I'm in a 4D chess game with angels and demons, constantly trying to make the right moves. Trusting God hasn't always come easy for me. At times, it felt like a simple ultimatum: trust or death.
Through my journey, I've realized two important things:
1.) It's okay to wrestle with hard things. It's okay to question, to doubt. These feelings are natural and part of our humanity.
2.) Patience in the face of questions and doubts can lead to deeper trust.
Yes, I trust God, but it's okay to walk through the hard things with honesty. Questions and doubts can become our best qualities, and one day, we may find answers to those questions. Questions are an avenue to proclaim that one day we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He will make it right...i.e. its not supposed to be this way AND one day it won't be this way because of Christ.
My relationship with Christ is harder than ever because of my humanity, but it's also stronger than ever because I've chosen to walk through this with Him. Checkmate, satan.
I share this in the hope that someone who is struggling or will struggle can find hope in my experience. Trust God, wrestle with the hard things, and see what happens.