12/13/2023
WEDNESDAY REFLECTION:
When we see things from a trauma-related lens, we are not always seeing clearly. We may consciously or unconsciously distort reality, blame, shame ourselves or others, project, minimize, rationalize, intellectualize, deny, dissociate, manipulate, internalize - all of which are essentially defense mechanisms we learned in order to survive and protect ourselves.
The journey of healing and restoration allows you to see clearly… to see with compassion and curiosity (which is at the heart of all mindfulness practices)…. to see a more WHOLE of a picture, little by little, and not get stuck in the fragmentation of the media, our politics, our trauma, or our own “stories”. The truth is - we all have a Story. A story worthy of healing and owning. But it doesn’t stop there.
To see the whole, means to not get stuck in all the seemingly separate parts of race, gender, class, pain, oppression, power, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
To see the whole means to be willing to meet one another on the corner of PAIN ST. In the Village of ANGER & DESPAIR. In the City of Hope, in the State of Compassion. (Cheesy but I’m going with my ❤️ & Soul’s Guidance).
The healing work allows for a state of expansion vs. contraction. For a state of togetherness vs separation. For respect and curiosity vs hate and self-righteousness.
When we find ourselves unable to like someone or something, including ourselves, strive to “do no harm” whenever possible.
If we disagree with the people around us, may we be part of the change we want to see (Gandhi). May we model caring behaviors despite our disagreements.
These principles can be applied to all the big stuff, for example, war . War stems from trauma - our fears and lived experiences of death, marginalization and anhilation. It’s the most primitive fear of people-kind. And sadly, we are not there yet in our collective consciousness to be done with war.
I believe war is the representation of unresolved “stuff”, of pathology, psychopathy, of our primitive autonomic nervous systems (fight-or flight or freeze). War is a representation of sin, of human rage, of evil. It’s f-cking complicated enough to run a country, let alone manage billions of humans from other countries. An utterly complex web of historical and current events have led us here.
From the standpoint of my Faith - trauma responses become a problem when our souls “do harm”, when we sin, whether we know it or not. Healing doesn’t mean to blame and shame ourselves. Thats not healing at all. The God I know doesn’t do that. What we need is safety, nurturing, respect, love. The God that I know provides that, if we can recognize it. ❤️
Healing means taking responsibility , being willing to change and grow IN RELATIONSHIP with others. Not just the ones who believe what you believe. God wasn’t selective. He has no favorites. He is in relationship with all of us, regardless of our beliefs or our Faith. ❤️
The more we heal, the more we can spread love, respect and healing in our own little ways, the more we - together - have a chance to truly affect the bigger issues.
Whether you believe in God, the Divine or Spirit - is not the main point I’m trying to make here. The most important thing is to ask yourself “am I you doing harm to others with my judgment and actions? (Buddhist Principles). Because if we can minimize this, then we are not being a big part of the problem are we? Then we are not perpetuating trauma and pain. In essence, you are helping break the cycle not just for you, but for the world!!! Just by fixing g YOU! ’s how big your healing work is; that’s how impactful it can be. You hurt less and you hurt lesser and lesser people. There is nothing more beautiful than that. That is a return to Love, my dear. ❤️
Are you being part of the answer (LOVE) and are you doing your part to fix YOUR problems? It all starts with us, fixing us, checking ourselves at the door. And I don’t necessarily mean Therapy. I know a lot of people who have had severe complex trauma and never have had therapy, who are extremely loving and kind individuals, who really minimize the harm they do to the world. The answer is not always Therapy. Therapy is really just another vehicle to return you back to…. yep you guessed it… LOVE! It has always been and will always be about LOVE. Healthy Love. The kind God wants for us. Love for yourself, others, the world, the planet, the birds, the bees, the Milky Way, etc. Whatever we can imagine that exists in this life is somehow here to serve us in one way shape or form. Isn’t that rad??? ❤️
If you’ve read thus far, thank you. I know I went deep into other parts.
All of this to say, your life matters. You are the only YOU on this earth. No one will ever have your same exact fingerprints. That’s how I know inside that we were put in this world for a reason.
Your job is to find that reason. And I bet you everything I have, that the right reason will always lead you to LOVE, respect, and compassion. It doesn’t matter what route you take and how long you get there. I truly believe this is always the end of the road and until we reach it, we will continue to be invited to work things out to learn our lessons, which is essentially to heal in this life, and perhaps lives beyond.
Love & Peace to All ❤️
