02/06/2024
Life is fragile.
A month before our fire, a dear friend of mine had surgery. She found out that she had a rare, aggressive form of cancer. Then our house exploded. My friend and I still tried catching up as much as we could considering how our lives had both changed drastically. I remember a conversation we had when she said….if you don’t hear from me, I am probably very, very sick….or no longer here. The thought of losing her along with all of our personal loss was too much.
My friend was the best encourager, mentor, leader, visionary, passionate, full of life, organized, creative person I knew. She pushed me out of my comfort zone. After the fire, I was talking about job and career ideas. She asked me what was holding me back - I said fear of failing. She said…..but what if you fly????
As the days went by, our conversations grew quieter. Her body was getting weaker from the chemo and radiation but she still kept fighting. In August, she sent me her scans……I just cried……so not fair. She is the most amazing, loving, giving, caring servant heart person out there.
I got the text a week and a half ago that she only had days. I called our mutual friend and we just cried, laughed at a few memories and just loved our friend. Early the next morning, I got the call that our friend was called to heaven.
She leaves behind an amazing husband, a beautiful 13 yr old daughter, an amazing 10 year old son, and their miracle baby who is 20 months old. I love you S……thank you for pushing me to be the person I am today. I miss you so very much.
No one is guaranteed tomorrow……September 2015, I went to bed perfectly healthy and fine. No signs and symptoms my life was to change. Then an hour and a half later…..I would wake up to sharp chest pains that dropped me to the floor each time. AND…I lost the use of the right side of my body. An isolated virus attacked my spine. An amazing neurologist tried an experimental procedure that allowed me to eventually gain back 90-95% of my loss. After I “graduated” from PT and OT, I allowed myself to google Transverse Myelitis. At that time, I found only 1 website that had any info on it—-4 in 1 million people were diagnosed with TM. Today - it is getting more and more common. But……I was one of the rare ones to recover as much as I did.
Life is precious…..
I currently have many friends battling various diseases and ailments…..I pray for them everyday. I also have a new perspective on mental issues……PTSD, anxiety, depression…….
Life can throw curveballs……
Almost a year ago, my family experienced the biggest curveball I could ever imagine. Who believes you when you say a car flew through your house at 90mph causing it to explode and somehow - only by the grace of God—-we survived. I was looking at photos for someone the other day and saw the picture from when we got new siding and new zipboard. I saw all the studs, insulation of our house. The driver of the car flew into our house and took out the entire structural support system of the house before it exploded. That morning when I came out of the house - the entire front of the house was very noticeably leaning towards the site of the accident. We have been told many times this is a freak-one of a kind accident…..what are the odds.
We get one chance at this thing called LIFE. How are you living yours? What will your legacy be?
I admit….i have lost myself this past year……rebuilding a life, fighting to keep my family together and healthy, fighting for my marriage, fighting to get us in a house, fighting to make the house a home, fighting with my grief, fighting to keep my head up. This past year has not been easy—it has been freaking hard. The trauma of the year has turned me from an extrovert to an introvert. Within the first 72 hours, we experienced how hurtful some people’s words and actions were towards us. I literally had to build a wall around my heart and my mind. I am ready to start truly living again.
My goal this next year is to get back into nature and taking photos again. There is something calming about the fresh air, the silence, the majesty of the sky, walking barefoot on thick grass……I am ready to start living again. I do realize I still have more fighting to do with rebuilding our lives- insurance isn’t closed out yet. However, I am ready to close this chapter and open the next chapter of our life. Thank you to everyone who sat by us as we navigated through the darkest days we have encountered so far. Not sure where I would be without you. Just this morning, I woke up to 2 messages of love and reminders to turn my eyes towards God.