01/26/2023
It’s All About…Age is a number
By Chip Bertino
Getting older is a state of mind. I believe that statement because I observe it regularly with the people with whom I come in contact. Recently, while having breakfast with a friend, the topic of age came up. She agreed that our individual perception of who we are and what we can still accomplish is not dependent on how many birthdays we’ve celebrated. It’s a mindset. Given that she’s much older than me, I’m inclined to accept her wisdom. (Note: Although we’ve been friends for many years, I suspect that last sentence will initiate a complaint call from her.)
The 1955 movie “Marty” is a reminder of how perceptions of age have evolved. The movie stars Ernest Borgnine as a 34-year old butcher who has been unsuccessful in love. He comes from an Italian family and lives with his widowed mother. Although the story portrays a day in Marty’s life as he unexpectedly finds love at a dance he reluctantly attends, there’s a side-story involving his mother’s sister, Katerina. She lives with her recently married son, his wife and their newborn. The long and short of it is that the son asks Marty’s mother to ask her sister (Katerina) to move in with her so the young couple can live alone.
I know, you’re wondering why I’m writing all this. I’m getting to it. There’s a scene when Marty’s mother and her sister somberly discuss between themselves that because their children are grown, their lives are, for the most part, over. The scene is poignant, and not a little bit comical. What struck me was that the older of the two women was only 56 years old. FIFTY-SIX YEARS OLD! She laments that her life is over and she has nothing to live for at just 56 years of age.
Even accounting for the fact that this movie was made more than 60 years ago, it’s hard to understand anyone believing that when you reach age 56, that life is, for all intents and purposes, over.
How old is old? It’s a matter of mindset. I’ve known people in their thirties who were old, already complaining about what ails them. Give me a break! People like this remind me of the George Burns line that some people rehearse being old at a young age so that when they are old, they’re a hit.
I know people in their seventies and eighties who are more like twenty-somethings than candidates for a rest home. Some of my very good friends fall into this category, but you would never know it when we’re together because age is not the common denominator, camaraderie is. Certainly, age is relative. My ten-year-old granddaughter thinks I’m really old. But what does she know? She thinks her mother, my daughter, is ancient.
My mother’s horizon for being old is 105. Until then, she doesn’t want to hear or talk about aches and pains. I’m with her.
My wife and I have been AARP members for several years, initially enrolling in order to benefit from discounts for travel and accommodations, rental cars and other services. Despite this perk, it’s still a little hard for me to reconcile that I have an active membership in an organization that my grandmother once belonged and revered. She was a proud member, asking unabashedly for her AARP discount wherever she went, sometimes becoming contrary when no discount was offered.
Truth be told, while I like saving money with discounts, I’m not overly enthusiastic about flashing my membership card thus admitting I’m of a certain age. Isn’t that silly? Why should I care? It’s been a very long time since I’ve been carded when purchasing an adult beverage at a restaurant. Sometimes I don’t even have to prove my age to get a senior’s discount, it’s automatically applied. Maybe I should be bothered by that.
One final thought. Upon reflection, I should worry less about being of a certain age and worry more about the reality that I’m married to someone’s grandmother.
Copyright 2022. All Rights Reserved. CMN Communications, Inc.
