12/27/2024
I RETURNED FROM MY BUSINESS TRIP TO FIND MY HUSBAND HOSTING MY OWN FUNERAL IN THE BACKYARD.
I was gone for a week — an important work thing, nothing crazy. I expected the usual when I came home: maybe the house a little messier than I left it, my husband, Jake, playing video games or something. Instead, I pull into the driveway, and there are cars everywhere. My heart starts racing and I'm thinking, "Did something happen?"
I make my way around the side of the house, and there it is: a full-blown FUNERAL… in my own backyard.
There were chairs lined up, flowers everywhere, people in black, and even A HUGE PICTURE OF… ME. My face. A giant, blown-up portrait of me looking peaceful, as if I was gone from this world. People I barely recognized were whispering, looking shocked to see me standing there, alive and well. Some folks even gasped, dropping their cups of lemonade.
I froze. I didn't even know what to say. My funeral? What in the world was going on?
I finally found my voice and walked straight to Jake, who was standing at the front, talking to the guests. "Jake, what is this? Why are you hosting my funeral?!"
He turned around, pale as a ghost when he saw me, then his face twisted into anger. "Your mom told me the truth!" ⬇️
