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Do you have a vag*ina!A woman home alone, answers a knock on the door to a man who just stood there and asked, "Do you h...
05/23/2025

Do you have a vag*ina!
A woman home alone, answers a knock on the door to a man who just stood there and asked, "Do you have a vag*ina"
She slams the door in disgust and tells her husband that night when he got home from work.
The next morning she answers a knock on the door. Its the same man and he asks the same question. "Do you have a vag*ina"
Once again she slams the door.
She immediately gets on the phone and rings her husband at work.
He tells her he will take the day off tomorrow just in case the man shows up a third time.
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both make for the door.
The husband whispers to his wife, "Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to tell him yes to his question, because I want to a see where he's going with this."
She nods, a yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there. He asks, "Do you have a vag*ina"
"Yes I do." says the lady.
The man replies, "Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours!"🤣🤣🤣

A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is pregnant.The director of th...
05/23/2025

A woman burst out of the examining room screaming after her young physician tells her she is pregnant.
The director of the clinic stopped her and asked what the problem was. After she tells him what happened, the doctors had her sit down and relax in another room and he marched down the hallway where the woman’s physician was and demanded, “What is wrong with you.. Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant”
The young physician continued to write his notes and without looking up at his superior, asked, “Does she still have the hiccups”

05/23/2025

One Sunday a pastor told the congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people to prayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate.
He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in offering.
He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation and said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly and saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly, she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

"TWO LITTLE OLD LADIES....​Two little old ladies, Niamh and Tara, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town ha...
05/23/2025

"TWO LITTLE OLD LADIES....​
Two little old ladies, Niamh and Tara, were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall​ in Limerick, where a flower show was in progress.
The short one, Niamh, leaned over and said, ""Life is so boring. We never have any fun anymore.
For €10 ​ ​I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid, boring flower show""!
""You're on!"", said Tara, holding up a €10 bill.
So, Niamh slowly fumbled her way out of her​ clothes. She grabbed a dried flower from a nearby display and held it between her teeth.
Then, completely na*ked, she streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the​ flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling.
Finally, the smiling Niamh came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering, clapping crowd.
""What happened"", asked Tara ?
""I won €100 as 1st prize for 'Best Dried Arrangement'!""
Credit Goes To The Respective Owner

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the Congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion,...
05/23/2025

A pastor's wife was expecting a baby, so he stood before the Congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded so would his paycheck.
After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary. A great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much more it could potentially cost.
After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us." Silence fell over the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."
The entire congregation said, "Amen."

I am 72 years old and recently divorced after a 36 year marriage. Obviously my ex-husband found me dull and I have to ag...
05/23/2025

I am 72 years old and recently divorced after a 36 year marriage. Obviously my ex-husband found me dull and I have to agree with him since I do all manner of dull things that irritated him intensely. Some of these are knitting, pottery, floral design, sewing, baking, canning, gardening, mothering both children and animals. I built a cob oven outside for making pizza and all sorts. I am so dull that when I use it, I often singe my hair and eyebrows, just from the heat produced. I make exceedingly dull pottery which my ex-husband said looked like kindergarten projects. I would say "folk art" but what can you expect from a former elementary school teacher? Of course, it goes without saying that teachers are dull. Even my dog is dull. He is so even tempered he doesn't even chase my chickens . Although I live on a busy main road in Seacoast New Hampshire I have had black bears, moose, deer, foxes, coyotes, skunks, groundhogs, a bobcat - just to name a few - but I am so dull that these creatures ignore me completely (although not my chickens). My parakeets were so bored that they laid two nests of eggs and raised 9 babies just to have something to do. Now that I am divorced I'm sure I will settle even more firmly into my dullness. I wear a size 71/2 shoe, which is a popular and therefore dull size. I'm not sure what the bananas are all about but I usually eat one everyday which makes both me and the banana extremely unimaginative.
Credit: Ellen Karelitz

**Be with them until the end.****Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die, but only known by veterinari...
05/03/2025

**Be with them until the end.**
**Pets, it turns out, also have last wishes before they die, but only known by veterinarians who put old and sick animals to sleep. Twitter user Jesse Dietrich asked a vet what was the most difficult part of his job. The specialist answered without hesitation that it was the hardest for him to see how old or sick animals look for their owners with the eyes of their owners before going to sleep. **
The fact is that 90 % of owners don't want to be in a room with a dying animal. People leave so they don't see their pet leave. But they don't realize that it's in these last moments of life that their pet really needs them. And Hillcrest Veterinary Clinic in South Africa has posted on their page for all people with pets. Veterinarians ask the owners to be close to the animals until the very end. ′′ It's inevitable that they die before you. Don't forget that you were the center of their life. Maybe they were just a part of you. But they are also your family. No matter how hard it is, don't leave them. Don't let them die in a room with a stranger in a place they don't like. Vets are very painful to watch this. On how pets cannot find their owner in the last minutes of their life. They don't understand why he left them. After all, they needed his consolation. Veterinarians do everything possible to ensure that animals are not so scared. But they are complete strangers to them. Don't be a coward who thinks it's too painful for you. Think about the pet. Endure this pain for the sake of your pets. Be with them until the end ".

"I tried to take my baby to breakfast this morning, at Cafe Republic in Fort Worth, Texas. He is teething, so I thought ...
05/03/2025

"I tried to take my baby to breakfast this morning, at Cafe Republic in Fort Worth, Texas. He is teething, so I thought a pancake might make him feel better.
He was being super fussy and trying to climb all over the place. I was really stressed about him bothering other guests, so I was going to ask for the bill without touching my food. I started to try to pack up and hurry out. Our server walked up, and asked if she could help. (I thought she meant help me box up my food.)
Instead, she asked permission, picked him up, and said, 'I will hold him so you can feed yourself. Eat, mama. I know you probably never get the chance to. I’ve been there!' He melted in her arms and stopped fussing. I got to eat for a few minutes without wrestling a toddler. I can’t explain how much that meant to me. Servers are incredible. Moms are incredible. It takes a village. 💕"
Credit: Jessica Ibarra

After a woman was taken to the hospital with hypoglycemia ( low bloodsugar ) two police officers stayed behind to prepar...
05/03/2025

After a woman was taken to the hospital with hypoglycemia ( low bloodsugar ) two police officers stayed behind to prepare dinner for the five kids who were still in the house. Afterwards, they also did the dishes . (Eidenhoven, Netherlands )
Respect ❣️♥️

”So we go to Walmart today, and Lakken happens to see an elderly man that was having a hard time shopping and finding th...
05/03/2025

”So we go to Walmart today, and Lakken happens to see an elderly man that was having a hard time shopping and finding things due to him not being able to lift his head up and see straight.
He can see the ground and barely the sides of him, so Lakken looks at me and goes, ‘Aunt Ry can I please help him?’
I said, ‘Yes.’
My nephew went up to the man and asked him if he would like some help. His eyes lit up and said, ‘Well, yes that would be amazing young man, thank you so much.’
Lakken was running all over the place for this man and he was so happy. The man told us he hasn’t had help in years, and he was so happy he ran into an amazing smart young man like Lakken! I was so proud of him!
Lakken went and helped him check out and bag his stuff as well and had them call the show bus.
The man tried to tip Lakken and my nephew said, ‘Oh thank you but I don’t need this. I enjoyed helping you, you keep your money’.
I’m beyond proud of my nephew Lakken. You don’t see or get many people, let alone children, who do these things for people.”
Credit: Rylee Long

A fisherman who was fishing east of the Farallon Islands (just outside of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, Calif...
05/03/2025

A fisherman who was fishing east of the Farallon Islands (just outside of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, California) spotted a whale who was fully entangled and bound in a fishing net. The fisherman radioed for help and within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that the whale was so badly tangled that the only way to save her was to dive in, cut the ropes and untangle her…. a very dangerous proposition as one slap of the tail could kill a rescuer. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.
When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, nudged them, and pushed gently, thanking them. Some said that it was the most incredibly beautiful experience they had ever had.
The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the entire time and he will never be the same.
May you be so fortunate to be surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that are binding you. And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude. 🐳
📷Credit: Diem Jones

This is my 14 yr old daughter, we were on the way home and she saw a elementary kid sitting under a tree in a shopping c...
05/03/2025

This is my 14 yr old daughter, we were on the way home and she saw a elementary kid sitting under a tree in a shopping center. She said it's too hot 🌞moma stop the car🚗. She then asked the boy where are your parents? The boy said idk 🤷🏼‍♂️. She said can u call them? He said I only have my dads number. She let him call his dad also not standing too close so he wouldn't be afraid. Then she told him to get off the street and go in front of the rite aid so strangers won't try to get him and he can run in the store if need be. Then she said moma let's wait til he gets picked up and I might have to get him some water if it's not soon. This is why I will never let a person tear me down as a mother. This is just confirmation of the kind of children I'm raising Queens and kings👑👑
Credit: Tianea Thomas

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