JOKES 24/7 Comedy

08/22/2024

06/07/2024

06/07/2024

A 17 yr old boy in Muvhimwa went 2 hunt for mbeva. As he was digging the ground a scorpion bit his finger. He ran home and neighbours advised his uncle's wife to allow the boy put his finger in her va**na because it was the quickest way to heal such bites. The woman obliged and allowed the boy to put his finger in. Then truly in 3 days the finger healed. A week later the boy went out and came home wailing in pain. When he was confronted he said a scorpion had bitten his p***s. The uncle looked at him twice, looked at his wife and said:
" *Musatanyoko....... Manje you will die this time!!!*

😂😂🤣 Follow guys please

06/04/2024

🧑‍🍼 Hello mwana arikuda kutaura nemi 🧔 mupe 4ni Hello iwe uchandisapota rinhi uchingomisa mutsipa sengarakuni nditichii fut

06/04/2024

Asi hubhachura soooo🤣🤣🤣👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻

*unenge warara warova 3 ma black label🍺🍺🍺, makuseni kuma 5am wotadza kunzwa alarm, wozomuka 6 : 45😭apa uchifanira kupinda kubasa na 7am.*

*woburuka pamubhedha wodhonza 5 litres wodira mu dish fast fast, wogeza kumeso wopukuta hapwa......wonzwa smell kuti aiwa wadhonza 5 litre isiriyo ukatora ye paraffin💔😭*

*uchiti udzosere paraffin iya mu 5 litre yobva yateukira pasi, uchienda kunotora chikorobho wotsvedza wowira pamsoro pe dish rekugezera robva ratsemuka😭*

*paunotarisa nguva woona kuti dzava pana 06:50😭wobva wakanda phone pamubhedha yobva yabhamba yowira mu bucket reweti woinyurura fast woiisa pa window.*

*sezvo towel rako renge rakunhuwa paraffin wobva wavhomora rimwechete iroro penti rako woisa sta-soft wotanfudza patsva kupukuta muviri😢....... harichapfekeki nekuti inyoro😭anyways wobva watora bag reneluchbox wobuda ne speed wakananga kubasa🏃‍♂️*

*wabuda gedhi worangarira kuti wasiya foni wodzokera kunoitora. Wosvika woitora pa windos paye worova futi speed uchibuda, wonzwa munin'na wako waunogara naye achikubvunza kuti ko sipo yekugeza unoindepi nayo,😭wodzokera pa window nespeed wodzosera sipo wotara foni worova speed kekupedzisira*

*urimunzira uchimhanya sterek sando🔨 yobva yadonha ndipo paunoona kuti watora bag risiri iro ukatora bag rinogara ma tools😭😭wodzkera kumba wodurura zvipanera pasi woisa lunchbox......wobuda zve urimu full speed🏃‍♂️paunobuda gedhi woona waakusekwa nevanhu kuti wapfeka bhutsu dzakasiyana colour😭wobva warega kuita basa nazvo woignowa woramba uchimhanyira kubasa.......*

*paunosvika kubasa wobvunzwa kuti wavingei nekuti unenge uripa off day racho😭.......wobva watanga kuchema kusvika wonzwa nzara wobudisa lunchbox yako, paunovhura wowana kuti watora lunchbox isiriyo futi ukatora chi lunchbox chinogara ma pegs ekuyanikisa hembe💔😭😭*

06/04/2024

It took me 5 minutes to understand

06/04/2024

MY FIRST TIME TO HAVE S*X.

I entered a shop and bought a pack with three condoms, I looked at them curiously for a while wondering how on earth I could use them.

The Lady at the counter noticed my puzzlement and asked sincerely, ''Have you ever used a condom?

Do you know how to put it on?'' I blushed and said, "No!" The lady took one condom and opened it and wore it on her thumb as an example.

"This is how you put it. You have to make sure its tight!''

I was even more puzzled by this. I was just an innocent young man. She noticed how shy and confused I was.

"You must be a virgin," she said teasingly. "Have you ever had s*x?"... She asked.. l said, ''No!" Then she looked around the shop; there was no one but just the two of us.

She called me behind the counter, opened the door leading to the back rooms and invited me in. She quickly locked the door.

She told me to hurry up... "We don't have time!" She said. She pulled her short skirt up, her panty down, opened her legs and layed her back on a table. I was really shaking!

Then she told me to wear the condom on just like she had demonstrated to me. I did, and she pulled me close, and oh yes! there, I as right deep inside her wet sweet flesh. ......

But Oh My God no, in just two minutes inside it was just too much and I came, tsaaa tsaaa I WAS DONE!!

The lady felt it too, she felt the hot fluid inside her, and asks me, ''Did you put the condom on like I told you?" "Yes I did. Just like you showed me!" I replied.

She says, ''Lets see!" (I showed her) "Oh s**t!" she screamed. "You are supposed to wear it on your P***S not on your THUMB, you fool...!!!..That's how I became a dad. I am off to buy pampers😭"

The Moral Of The Story!

Out of ignorance, 99% of marriages were formed in this manner. No, proper counseling or education. And the bible says in the book of Hosea, "My people perish for lack of knowledge (Information)".
Forever Love forever follow me we grow togther
Tap👇 tap👇 tap 👇
BLUE STARS LIFEE

06/01/2024

JOIN MY WHATSAPP GROUP

02/02/2024

𝐈𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

01/26/2024

WHO?

01/25/2024

𝐎𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐨𝐰

01/25/2024

7 SIMPLE THINGS MEN WANT FROM WOMEN BUT PROBABLY WON’T SAY

There are certain things a lot of men would love their women to do, but they might never tell her. They probably won’t tell you because they don’t want to pass the message of being too needy.

Men don’t want to be perceived as being too demanding and being insensitive, so they act like they are okay — but do not be deceived, every man wants the following:

1. RESPECT 🤷‍♂🤷‍♀

Men interpret respect as love. Show me a man who is respected by his woman and I will show you a man who feels loved.

Every man loves to be respected, by his lady especially. Men also feel valued when they’re respected, and it kills their ego when their lady doesn’t give them respect.

When with friends and family, every man would want to be shown respect.

2. LOVE TO BE WANTED
Women love to be wanted, but this trait isn’t just found in women alone, men love to be desired as well — men love to feel loved.

Men feel valued when their lady give them that feeling that they are wanted.

3. COMPLIMENTS AND ADMIRATION

Who doesn’t love to be admired? Everyone does, and men want this as well.

He wants to be seen as s*xy, charming, handsome and good-looking by his lady.

He loves to be admired and he loves to be told as well, but he probably won’t tell you that.

4. COMPANIONSHIP

No man wants to be lonely, and companionship to a man isn’t just someone to be with — no! To him, companionship is being with that woman he loves and admires, having a good time with her — a time to have those deep and intimate talks he won’t have with anyone else.

There is something about companionship a man wants, and even the men that are not "romantic" also want that companionship from the women they love.

5. TO LOOK GOOD ALWAYS

Every man wants this! Every man wants this! Every man wants this! This is one thing every man wants from his lady — to look good, to look appealing at every point in time.

Every man wants a lady he can take pride in,

01/25/2024

Sorry gyz kungodawo kuziva🙄🙄
>>Ndiro group revanhu vakaremberera mazamu hr rino