10/31/2024
So we’ve now been living in Israel for a little over a year. Despite the chaotic times we’re living in, it’s been a wonderful experience. We truly feel like we’re part of something, rather than watching with concern from afar. We’ve made wonderful friends, and pinch ourselves regularly that we have the privilege to live in our homeland – especially after talking about it non-stop for more than 15 years.
But in any new adventure, the adjustment takes time.
Sure, we’re getting used to our new lives in Israel, but let’s face it, this is NOT the United States. There are a lot of changes taking place in our lives, and sometimes, they can be annoying, frustrating, and downright ridiculous.
Like what? Glad you asked. Here’s my list of
TEN ASPECTS OF LIFE IN ISRAEL THAT ARE HARD TO GET USED TO
Before I jump in, a quick disclaimer. I am well aware of how fortunate I am to fulfill a lifelong dream by living in Israel. By no means am I minimizing the admiration and appreciation I have for this country.
But everyone’s allowed to “kvetch” from time to time, no?
OK, here goes:
1. Let’s talk about our new home. Yes, it is MUCH smaller than the one we had in New Jersey, and it’s quite an adjustment…but we knew what we were getting into when we moved here. But for heaven’s sake, why oh why won’t Israelis put air conditioning in the bathroom? Do you know how hot it can get in there? Without getting too personal, some of us do our best thinking / reading / social media scrolling in the bathroom…but we can’t do it effectively if buckets of sweat are emerging from every pore! Can someone explain why they’ve made this work in most homes in the US, but Israelis won’t even consider a/c in the bathroom?
2. On a related note…in every room in my house, I walk in, and turn on the light. In the bathroom, I have to remember to turn on the light BEFORE I go in. The switch is outside. WHY?
3. Supermarkets. Oh, where do I start? Israeli supermarkets seemed delightful before making Aliyah. Now? I long for my New Jersey Shoprite in the worst way. A. The shopping carts here are much more difficult to maneuver, as all four wheels spin in all directions. B. The layout of the store makes no sense. Condiments? In the frozen food section. Pasta sauce? Nowhere near the pasta. C. And if you ask an employee for help, good luck getting answers!
Me: Do you know where you keep the sesame oil?
Employee: No. (walks away)
Seriously?!?
There’s more. D. The supermarkets are generally smaller than what we’re used to in the US. No big deal, right? Wrong. Employees stock shelves all day long, taking up most of the aisle with their pallets of merchandise. You can’t push a cart down the aisle! Can’t they do that after hours? Or with a little more courtesy? Ugh.
4. Coffee. I’m the furthest thing from a coffee connoisseur, but I do enjoy my daily cup o’Joe. And Israel is famous for its delicious coffee - and the quantities in which it’s consumed. In the “Old country”, I was never willing to pay Starbucks prices, so I’d “settle” for convenience store coffee (which I actually enjoy quite a bit). I’d pay about $2.50 for a pretty-decent 20-ounce coffee at Wawa, and I was a happy boy. In Israel, the coffee is a fraction of the size, and double the price. Huh? OK, if you want to jack up the price in an upscale coffee shop, I get it. But why can’t I go into a gas station, pour my own coffee, and pay a reasonable price? And have you seen the coffee cups? They’re tiny! Three sips and done! For a country that loves coffee, Israel should be able to figure this one out.
5. My Hebrew. OK, full disclosure. I live in an Anglo “bubble” and work from home, so I don’t have the chance to speak Hebrew out in the world nearly as much as I should. But when I do get out there and struggle to express myself in Hebrew, why am I forgetting Hebrew words I’ve known my whole life? Last week, I suddenly couldn’t come up with the word “mishpacha” (family). What the heck? The other day, I couldn’t remember the word for “far” (rachok). I’ve known these words since I was five! What’s happening to me?
6. Honking. I’m at a red light, and the drivers behind me START HONKING BEFORE THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN. Are you serious? Where do you want me to go???
7. Money. If I don’t whip out a calculator, I have no idea what I’m actually spending 90% of the time. 30 shekel for cereal? Sounds great. 200 shekel for a toaster? OK, must be fair. 450 shek total at the grocery store? Sure, whatever. Until my credit card bill arrives, it’s all Monopoly money to me.
8. The weather report. I listen to the radio whenever I’m driving in Israel, and at the end of the hourly newscast, they share the weather report. I laugh every time it comes on. In America, it takes at least 3 minutes to report the weather. The high pressure system, the 5 day forecast, the banter, etc. In Israel, it usually sounds something like this:
NEWSCASTER: And now, the weather.
RECORDING: Brought to you by KSP. This month, trade in your existing iPhone at KSP and get 1000 shekel off the new iPhone 16! That’s right, 1000 shekel! Offer expires November 15. Subject to availability. Some restrictions apply.
NEWSCASTER: Today’s weather – about the same as yesterday.
RECORDING (yes, again): Brought to you by KSP. This month, trade in your existing iPhone at KSP and get 1000 shekel off the new iPhone 16! That’s right, 1000 shekel! Offer expires November 15. Subject to availability. Some restrictions apply.
9. Produce. The produce here is incredible – among the best fruits and vegetables in the world. So what’s to complain about? They’re only available IN SEASON. So, the story usually goes something like this.
“Oh my God, these are the best grapes I’ve ever tasted!”
One week later:
No more grapes for six months!
10. Israelis (well, some of them). I’m sure many of you know EXACTLY what I mean.
Make no mistake: life in Israel is amazing, and I can’t recommend Aliyah highly enough. But anyone who’s been to Israel knows full well that there’s a lot to laugh about.
What did I miss? If you live in Israel, or have just come to visit, what are the hardest things to get used to in our beloved homeland?