04/18/2022
People With The Botched Child Loss Perspective:
UNDERSTAND:
Tragedies can happen to ANYONE at ANY TIME, ANY PLACE. There is no immunity, there is no way anyone can dodge it. When children die, for some reason the rest of the adult world "forgets" that fact. Illnesses happen to children, accidents happen to children, sudden death such as SIDS and other unexplained things happen to children. There are many things that can happen to children that happen to adults every day, whereas if it was the adult that dies, no further questioning or drama happens. So why is it when a child dies of a similar experience....there are people out there who instead of trying to help, all they want to do is attack, question, blame, and gossip about the parents and the child's death? What is it with people that even though you know NOTHING about what really happened with the particular child, you have already made up your minds about the parents and have deemed them unfit, called them names and some even have the audacity to confront the parents of these deceased children and say a lot of STUPID things? Some of you want to be makeshift therapists and advise them how they should be handling the situation though you have NEVER experienced anything similar. I hear about and witness these things ALL THE TIME and yes, even I have fallen victim to it. This hurts me every time I hear about this happening to one of my angel parents because I know how words and judgemental actions can damage and traumatize: those incidents embed as painful memories, and they rarely are forgotten...that trauma can resurface often, sometimes for the rest of the parents' lives. If any of you do this..... PLEASE STOP. You are hurting the parents to no end, the child's siblings, the child's ENTIRE FAMILY. You may mean well but what you are doing is WRONG. Additionally, while you are at it; quit telling parents to "let it go" and "get over it'....a parent doesn't just "get over" loving their child whether they are walking on this earth or soaring above it. Quit saying the pain is temporary, quit saying the stupid " What doesn't kill you"...... speech and anything similar. And yes having a religious belief may be comforting for some, but chill with the "if you have enough faith the pain will go away" mess. Quit quoting scriptures, and critiquing their faith. Yeah...I said it. Having faith gives you strength, may even give some of us (not all) perspective... but it is NOT going to stop us from missing, or grieving our child and it does hurt. The amount of hurt/grief that bereaved parents experience has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with their religious beliefs or how strong their faith is. The experience of losing a child is a very unique and devastating experience. Losing a child is not like losing a dog, grandparent, aunt, cousin, etc.(Yes people do actually say that) Please offer your support, but keep your advice to yourself. Too many children are dying....it saddens me to see so many join my position as a parent of a deceased child. For those of you who are living this nightmare that you will never be able to wake from, I send you all of my love and support. May you be patient with yourselves during this journey. ❤SHARE/LIKE/COMMENT/SUPPORT if you agree...------Leslie Davis Thompson, Director of Angels in Flight Inc., founded in 2008.
