TWFO Couple

11/04/2024

We finally got around to getting new crewnecks for everyone! We LOVE the way they turned out and we hope you’ll love them too. We went with a classic forest green, a heather pink official “Wheelie” crewneck, and a vintage-inspired maroon with a distressed print. Each one has a small reminder to “Stay True” inside the cuff. These are insanely comfortable, oversized, and perfect for the cool days ahead. We’ll put these on the site this Wednesday 11/6 to coincide with the release of this week’s episode.

10/15/2024

Tomorrow on Till the Wheels Fall Off…

We dig into a topic both of us are really passionate about; Equal Partnership: Why It Matters

In this episode, we dive into the real issue behind many struggling relationships—unequal partnership. The problem isn’t the addiction; it’s the power dynamics and the mental toll that an unbalanced relationship takes on us. Addiction is just a cover! We explore how we are no longer suffering in silence and are speaking up about the mental damage caused by chronic stress, anxiety, burnout, and resentment from being in a one-sided partnership.

We break down what an equal partnership truly looks like:

•Sharing the mental load, not just the physical tasks
•No need to constantly ask for things to get done—things happen automatically
•Communication that fosters validation and respect
•Mutual involvement in home life, like knowing the kids’ teachers’ names or planning trips
•Taking responsibility for personal tasks like making appointments and helping around the holidays
•Leading by example for the kids

We also address the mental load: the invisible labor of planning meals around activities, figuring out the kids’ needs, and managing the household’s daily functioning. Many of us end up overthinking because we are forced to carry this cognitive burden while our partners disengage.

We also tackle the myth that we “picked” unequal partners. No, society has normalized this imbalance, and it’s time for that to change. If you’re in an unequal partnership, you deserve more. It’s time to demand equality, respect, and shared responsibility in relationships.

This episode is for anyone; not just those in a relationship with an addict.

10/04/2024

I got the chance to meet someone I’ve long admired yesterday. influenced my own recovery and the mission of him and with is incredible to show how far we’ve come from the stigma and hushed voices of sobriety to now sobriety being something cool. If 3 sober dudes taking a pic in a liquor store doesn’t show the grey area we operate in, idk what does. I’ve never had more intimacy, more fun, and more joy in my life than I have these past 11 years…I couldn’t have imaged that on day one. I do things and go places I feared I’d never be able to and I love every second of it. I met Dax and told him how he influenced my own recovery, how much his voice has meant to me and then said “Ok I swear I’m not pitching you right now” and then basically pitched him on TWFO 😂. I handed him a sticker and asked him to listen or pass it on to someone that our show could help. There’s a 1% chance that ever happens but shoot your shot when you believe in what you’re doing. Stories like his, mine, and Aaron’s are amazing and inspiring, and for good reason. It’s HARD to beat this thing. But nobody talks about what it’s like to be married to guys like me and others like me and what goes on behind closed doors. Till the Wheels Fall Off brings those conversations to life, giving partners and spouses a voice as they heal from what addiction destroyed…and we’re just getting started. This was such a cool moment. I used to get messed up and watch Dax in Idiocracy over and over, and I never dreamed I’d be meeting him clean & sober in a liquor store. Life’s beautiful like that ❤️

09/27/2024

Paige here! 👋 It’s days like this I reflect on how far we’ve come, individually and as a couple.

Matt has chronic back pain from an injury he had when we were teenagers. As many of you know, his DOC was mainly pain medication. Honestly, he’d take anything he could get his hands on that would make him feel good, but pills were his main jam.

I’ve taken him to get injections for about 15 years and the first few years, he’d always get a script for pain meds, come home with a case of beer, and just get messed up for the rest of the weekend. It sucked.

These days, after an injection (today he had an ablation) he enjoys some coffee, junk food, documentaries, and ice packs while recovering. He’s present and feels the feels without numbing himself. The nurse didn’t know he’s in recovery and asked if he has meds or muscle relaxers and he’s like “nah, I’m good with Tylenol.” 👏🏻👏🏻

This guy rarely ever discusses his pain and I think it’s a big deal since we live in a world where everyone wants to feel comfortable. It amazes me how far he’s come and how much he can handle.

He hasn’t had any excuse to relapse and that’s something we’re both extremely grateful for.

Now, let’s hope he does what the doctor says and stays on ass this weekend. Wish us luck!! 🤪

09/11/2024

In this episode we discuss the natural tendency to want to understand what is affecting your loved one if they struggle with addiction. Often times the journey of education is enlightening and fosters empathy and understanding, but it can also be a trap which keeps people stuck in a pattern of inaction. While understanding is important, it is not sufficient to “fix” anyone and runs the risk of keeping spouses and partners stuck in a loop of seeking to understand rather than taking action. We discuss benefits and possible dangers of over-intellectualizing addiction, we discuss separating the behaviors from the substance, and how you can take action to protect yourself and your family from an abusive situation that may cause you harm.

09/04/2024

September is National Recovery Month.

There are so many resources out there to help those struggling with substances, but very few resources for spouses and partners.

Matt has over eleven years of recovery and I’ve been on my own healing journey for seven years.

Spouses and partners need a safe space to grow, recover, and be heard. Many times they have nowhere to turn for so many reasons.

They feel judged, crazy, and alone.
They feel like they’re doing something wrong. They feel like no one understands them.
They feel like no one can give them the answers they need.

They are the ones trying to hold everything together.
They are the ones trying to survive.
They are the ones taking care of the children and home.
They are the ones stepping in when they don’t have an equal partner.
They are the ones who don’t have the luxury of getting away from reality to heal.
They are the ones who get left behind.

Next time you congratulate a person in recovery, I encourage you to reach out to their partner or family members and ask how they’re doing. They will be forever grateful.

Our program for spouses and partners released last December and we have witnessed many people take back their lives and gain the tools to find their voice again. Their recovery is going strong and I’m grateful to be part of it.

Not only is Matt’s recovery stronger than ever, when we heal together, we get to be the best for each other and our children.

08/06/2024

TWFO is growing!! We’ve added more episodes, more community support calls, FB Lives (these have been so amazing for the community), and moved the newsletter release day so you can have something for your personal development each day of the week with one rest day.

Our Wheelie Community on FB has been something special. We don’t just offer a place to vent and connect, we offer a place that encourages growth! We push people to do self-care everyday and post about it. The growth we’ve seen in our listeners has been a beautiful thing to witness.

If you’re feeling stuck and need a bump in your own growth, please pop into the community. It may be something you didn’t realize you were missing. 🫶🏻

06/03/2024

Last day to register is WEDNESDAY!!! Limited spots available!!!

05/29/2024

Your "Defects" Are Not as Bad as You Think

Check out the two bills in the photo above.

05/29/2024

Why women choose the bear; Thoughts on abuse

Ask yourself the question:

05/27/2024

Matt woke us up around 11:00 Saturday night to get us in the car to get away from a powerful tornado that was heading directly towards our home. We had plenty of time to get away and drive south to safety, thank goodness. We didn’t want to be in the house had it made it to us. Luckily, it missed our area, but lives were lost in that storm. 😔

It made me reflect and think of so many wheelies who don’t have a safe person to depend on. It took me back to the time Matt was in active addiction and how there was no way he would’ve handled this situation like he did. He would’ve either ignored it, minimized it, slept through it, been completely indecisive on how to handle it, or so effed up to even comprehend the seriousness of the situation. That is scary. I married someone I wanted to be able to count on because a healthy marriage is interdependent. We need to be able to rely on our partners to help protect our family when 💩 hits the fan. That’s what it means to build a life together.

If you have a partner you can’t rely on, I know how difficult that is. I know it hurts. I know it’s maddening. Just know, you are not alone.

We need to ask ourselves if our person is capable of protecting our family when we need them the most. 🫶🏻

-Paige, TWFO

04/22/2024

The TWFO Recovery Rock is like a “chip” for spouses or partners!! Those in recovery for substance use disorder typically receive a chip or something similar to acknowledge milestones within their own recovery. TWFO decided spouses and partners deserve something for their part as well! This is a great way to show your loved one how much you appreciate them being by your side.

04/04/2024

Spend a Saturday with us while we validate, educate, empower, and help YOU on your recovery journey.

Connect with other spouses and partners going through a similar experience. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

03/25/2024

This is my story. Addiction and opioid use disorder can be messy but that’s why telling the stories of it are so important. I’m proud to partner with on this powerful message with “The Painful Truth,” to continue my work of advocacy and patient education around options in pain management. I hope everyone can take something away from this work and the resources included. Check out the link in my bio for more information.

02/29/2024

Thoughts?

02/28/2024

🫶🏻Being in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction can be extremely complex to where it’s difficult to wrap your head around what is truly going on. We’ve been there. We see you. We hear you.

💻We’ve extracted part of our main course into a mini-course to help you evaluate your relationship from a different perspective. We have videos and worksheets to get you started, plus you get access to TWFO Couple while you work the course.

📝We are only offering this mini-course for a limited time and it’s the intro to the main course so you can see what our program is all about! The worksheet alone is incredibly eye opening and changing lives.

❓Have any questions? Shoot us a DM!

🔗Link to course in bio.

02/20/2024

Paige and I are part of a foundation called Counseling for the Future. We raise money to put mental health professionals through their graduate programs completely debt free. We’re hosting a casino night on 3/6 and we’d LOVE to see you there! If you know anyone that would like to volunteer as a Holdem dealer please reach out to me! Click the link and donate $100 and get in the door with a stack of chips. Drinks and other perks included as well! If you can’t make it but would like to contribute to our cause you can use the same link below.

https://www.pledge.to/cff-poker-tournament

11/05/2023

One of the beautiful things about recovery: handling life differently.

Paige here. Being in a relationship with someone who used drugs and alcohol to cope with life was really difficult especially when things out of our control would happen. Such as flat tires, broken appliances, your favorite team losing championships, and even mailboxes being run over.

When Matt was in active addiction over ten years ago, these things in life would throw him into tantrums and it was very uncomfortable to be around. If you’re in a relationship like this, I’m sure you know exactly what I mean about how our partners would handle common messes in life.

I’m highlighting this moment because recovery has taught him how to handle the difficult things in a healthy manner. There was no anger, no tantrum, just acceptance and problem solving.

Recovery is so much more than being sober. It’s about handling life on life’s terms and accepting whatever is thrown our way. 🫶🏻🫶🏻