08/12/2024
🚨 I"VE BEEN ATTACKED! 🚨
I knew they were out there, lurking in the shadows, but I never thought I'd be the target. Thousands of them, swarming in formation, like a relentless army on a mission. Yes, folks, I’ve been attacked…by the dreaded army worms. 😱
I’ve heard tales about these grummy little bastards my whole life, but nothing prepared me for the sheer magnitude of their assault. Army worms, for those who don’t know, are relentless invaders that love to feast on Bermuda grass, especially in late summer and early fall. Georgia is prime territory for their invasion. They can strip a yard bare before you even know what hit you!
As I strolled towards Noses Creek, I saw the first wave and knew immediately I was outnumbered. Thousands of them, wriggling and chomping their way through my lawn. I had no choice but to retreat to higher ground…only to discover they had already beaten me there!
But this was far from over. I regrouped my one-man army, navy, air force, and marines. After a quick trip to The Home Depot to arm myself, I was ready for the counterattack.
They never saw it coming. My aerial assault was stealthy and precise, raining down an arsenal of B-gon pellets from above. They were hit from the North, South, East, and West. Now, it’s only a matter of time before they meet their end.
Victory will be mine, and my lawn shall rise again! 🌱💪
