The Kid Counselor

02/25/2025

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I clarify the difference between reflecting feelings as a standalone reflective response and reflecting feelings within limit-setting (ACT model). While both serve important functions in CCPT, they operate differently—one builds emotional vocabulary, while the other provides validation and structure within a limit.

I also address a common mistake: reflecting cognitions instead of emotions. Therapists often acknowledge what a child is thinking instead of what they are feeling, which can miss the deeper emotional experience. Understanding these distinctions ensures that our responses in the playroom are both accurate and effective in supporting children’s emotional growth. If you’ve ever wondered why reflecting feelings looks different inside and outside of limit-setting, this episode breaks it down step by step.

In this episode, I clarify the difference between reflecting feelings as a standalone reflective response and reflecting feelings within limit-setting (ACT model). While both serve important functions in CCPT, they operate differently—one builds emotional vocabulary, while the other provides valid...

02/24/2025

Adulthood Bias: Why Kids Don’t Think Like Adults (And Why That Matters)

In this episode, I introduce the concept of ADULTHOOD BIAS —the tendency for adults to forget what it was like to be a child, who does not possess rational thought or abstract reasoning until about age 12. This bias causes frustration when kids act impulsively, give one-word answers, or behave in ways that don’t make sense from an adult perspective. Children don’t think or reason the way adults do; they react emotionally and live in the moment. When we expect them to process situations like we do, we set ourselves up for unnecessary struggles.

I explain how recognizing adulthood bias can help parents respond differently—validating feelings instead of dismissing them, setting limits when necessary, and improving communication. By shifting our perspective, we can better connect with our kids and support their emotional development. If you’ve ever been confused by your child’s behavior, this episode will help you see it through a new lens.

In this episode, I introduce the concept of ADULTHOOD BIAS —the tendency for adults to forget what it was like to be a child, who does not possess rational thought or abstract reasoning until about age 12. This bias causes frustration when kids act impulsively, give one-word answers, or behave in ...

01/30/2025

Biting, Aggression, and Emotional Overwhelm: Why Kids Act Out During Life Transitions—And How to Help

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to a heartfelt question from Heather, a mom navigating divorce while helping her young child through big emotions and challenging behaviors like aggression and biting. I discuss how changes in relationships—such as a deployed parent, a changing caregiver, or shifting custody arrangements—can deeply impact a child's sense of stability and security. I explain why behaviors like biting and aggression often stem from emotional overwhelm rather than defiance and share practical, child-centered strategies to help guide children through these struggles.

I also walk through limit-setting techniques that preserve the parent-child relationship while teaching emotional regulation and self-control. From handling aggression in the moment to reinforcing choices and natural consequences, I provide a clear framework for parents to set boundaries with confidence and consistency. If you're struggling with similar challenges, this episode will give you the tools to respond with empathy, structure, and intentionality.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to a heartfelt question from Heather, a mom navigating divorce while helping her young child through big emotions and challenging behaviors like aggression and biting. I discuss how changes in relationships—such as a deployed parent,...

12/02/2024

11/12/2024

I can't wait to witness the CCPT movement that is happening in Australia with my own eyes! It's going to be great to meet with everyone and talk. Only a few days left, go register today! See you soon.

The countdown is officially on!

There's only 10 days left until our 'Inspiring Play Therapists' Conference in Brisbane, Australia!

Register your attendance at https://www.trybooking.com/events/landing/1249390

11/05/2024

Preparing Children for Therapist Absences: Maternity Leave and Vacation

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I address a question from Melissa in Colorado about how to communicate upcoming absences to children and their parents. Melissa specifically asked about handling maternity leave and vacations that require taking time away from the playroom. I outline my approach for both scenarios, explaining that vacations can be discussed simply the week before, while extended absences, such as maternity leave, need a more gradual, structured countdown to help children adjust to the time away.

I also emphasize the importance of sharing these plans with the child first, as this preserves the trust and relationship built in child-centered play therapy (CCPT). For longer breaks, I recommend a pseudo-termination process to help children prepare for the separation and understand when they’ll see their therapist again. Setting clear expectations and explaining the reasons behind any absence strengthens the therapeutic relationship and reassures children during times of change.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I address a question from Melissa in Colorado about how to communicate upcoming absences to children and their parents. Melissa specifically asked about handling maternity leave and vacations that require taking time away from the playroom. I outline my a...

11/05/2024

APPTA is offering a 10% discount! I'll be speaking at this conference and I'm scheduling a Play Therapy Podcast Listener Meetup as well.

Register for the conference and then register for the meetup at https://www.playtherapypodcast.com/meetup See you there!

🎉🏇 Melbourne Cup Day Flash Sale ON NOW! 🏇🎉

Get ready to celebrate the race that stops a nation with our exclusive Melbourne Cup Sale! 🌟 Enjoy 10% off on 'Full 2-Day Conference' and 'Online' tickets for ONE DAY ONLY!

Sale ends midnight TONIGHT!

10/31/2024

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I address a question from Suzanne in Maryland, who has been working with a six-year-old child that engages in repetitive dressing and un******ng of Barbie dolls in each session. Suzanne wonders how to interpret this behavior and whether it aligns with themes like nurturing and caregiving. I explain that this type of repetitive play can often be a form of self-soothing, especially in early sessions when a child is still in the initiation and rapport-building phase. This repetitive, ritualistic behavior can be common for children experiencing high levels of anxiety as it creates a sense of control and comfort.

I also touch on why the playroom is a screen-free zone and how to handle requests for music or technology in the playroom. While a child’s desire for music may also be a self-soothing strategy, introducing technology can be a distraction from the therapeutic process.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I address a question from Suzanne in Maryland, who has been working with a six-year-old child that engages in repetitive dressing and un******ng of Barbie dolls in each session. Suzanne wonders how to interpret this behavior and whether it aligns with the...

10/23/2024

Sending Birthday Cards: Balancing Customer Service and Confidentiality

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to Brianna from Texas, who asks about the process of sending birthday cards to clients while maintaining confidentiality. I explain the benefits of sending birthday cards and how it strengthens the relationship between therapist and child. I also share practical steps for ensuring confidentiality, such as using only the child’s name and mailing address and leaving the sender’s identity discreet.

I also provide tips on how to make birthday cards more meaningful, like having the therapist write a personal message and considering cost-effective options like postcards. Sending birthday cards can be a simple yet impactful gesture that adds a personal touch to the therapy process, making children feel special and appreciated.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to Brianna from Texas, who asks about the process of sending birthday cards to clients while maintaining confidentiality. I explain the benefits of sending birthday cards and how it strengthens the relationship between therapist and child. I als...

10/23/2024

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss a common deviation in child-centered play therapy (CCPT)—using phrases like "you feel," "you must be," or "you seem" when reflecting a child’s feelings. These phrases, often used as buffers, can unintentionally shift the focus from the child's actual feeling to the qualifier, disrupting the reflective process. I explain why it's more effective to use direct reflections like "You are mad" or "You are sad," which support the development of emotional vocabulary and keep the child grounded in their emotional experience.

I also share reasons why therapists might hesitate to make direct reflections, such as fear of being wrong or discomfort with bold statements. I reassure therapists that it’s okay if a child disagrees with the reflection; it actually offers an opportunity for the child to clarify their feelings. The key is to be confident, eliminate the “fluff words,” and ensure the focus remains on helping children connect their feelings with their experiences.

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I discuss a common deviation in child-centered play therapy (CCPT)—using phrases like "you feel," "you must be," or "you seem" when reflecting a child’s feelings. These phrases, often used as buffers, can unintentionally shift the focus ...

10/21/2024

I'm so happy to have finally met my "CCPT family" in person at the APT conference this last weekend. This was the 1st, Inaugural Play Therapy Podcast "meetup"... (the first of many to come, hint, hint!)

Next stop is Brisbane, Australia for the Australasia Pacific Play Therapy Association conference on Nov. 22-24. I am planning another special meetup for podcast listeners, so click the link below to RSVP to the meetup!
playtherapypodcast.com/meetup

10/17/2024

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I answer a question from Sweeney in India about how to handle a 12-year-old client who frequently makes up elaborate stories in the playroom. Sweeney is concerned that the child’s storytelling might be problematic, especially since the stories appear to reflect a fantasy version of her life, and the child’s mother has noticed an increase in this behavior. I explain that children often use storytelling as a coping mechanism to manage their emotions and create a sense of control in their narrative, which is common in child-centered play therapy (CCPT).

I also discuss the reasons behind this behavior, including attention-seeking, projecting an idealized version of reality, and managing anxiety. I reassure Sweeney that this is a natural part of the therapeutic process and that the child will reduce this behavior over time as her self-esteem and emotional regulation improve through therapy. By continuing to reflect the child’s feelings and providing a supportive environment, the child will naturally address the underlying issues driving the storytelling.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I answer a question from Sweeney in India about how to handle a 12-year-old client who frequently makes up elaborate stories in the playroom. Sweeney is concerned that the child’s storytelling might be problematic, especially since the stories appear to...

10/17/2024

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Nicola, a parent struggling with her six-year-old son who resists reflective feelings and limit-setting techniques, often becoming aggressive. Nicola also has a younger son who responds well to these strategies, adding to her frustration. I explain why this behavior is a typical power and control struggle, and how her son's resistance is rooted in his discomfort with change. I offer practical advice on how to approach these situations with patience and consistency, emphasizing that new parenting strategies often trigger discomfort, but that tenacity and clear limits can help the child adjust over time.

I also discuss the importance of setting consequences at neutral times, reflecting feelings even when the child resists, and recognizing when a child is emotionally "drowning." With persistence and the right approach, children will eventually learn self-control and self-regulation. Lastly, I normalize the experience of having two children with opposite temperaments, especially when they are close in age.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Nicola, a parent struggling with her six-year-old son who resists reflective feelings and limit-setting techniques, often becoming aggressive. Nicola also has a younger son who responds well to these strategies, adding...

10/16/2024

House-Tree-Person Assessment: When and How to Use It in Child-Centered Play Therapy

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to a question from Christina in Vermont regarding the first session with a child in the playroom and how to incorporate an intake assessment without deviating from the child-centered play therapy (CCPT) model. Christina specifically asks about the "house-tree-person" drawing assessment and how to approach it during that initial session. I explain that any assessment or directive activity must only be done in the first session to avoid disrupting the CCPT process later on. I share how I integrate this drawing assessment along with a kinetic family drawing to gain a helpful snapshot of the child without steering away from CCPT principles.

I also emphasize the importance of setting expectations and clear communication during the first session. By explaining the structure of the session to the child, I ensure they feel comfortable and informed. After the initial assessments, I make sure the child knows that moving forward, they are entirely in control of their play in the playroom.

In this episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I respond to a question from Christina in Vermont regarding the first session with a child in the playroom and how to incorporate an intake assessment without deviating from the child-centered play therapy (CCPT) model. Christina specifically asks about t...

10/15/2024

I had the privilege to contribute to a Fortune Magazine article titled "Good parenting boils down to just 4 strategies, according to experts." My section was titled "Keep the relationship at the center." I got to pitch play therapy principles and the importance of the relationship to Fortune readers. Thank you to Rachel Reiff Ellis at Fortune for including me!

Here are some solid ways to lead with love while setting limits, according to experts.

10/01/2024

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I explore a common misinterpretation in child-centered play therapy: assuming that aggression in a child’s play is rooted in anger. While aggression may appear linked to anger, it’s essential not to make that assumption unless the child explicitly communicates it verbally or through non-verbal cues. I dive into the various reasons behind aggressive play—such as seeking power and control, releasing anxiety, or enacting justice—and explain why therapists should carefully assess the root cause before reflecting emotions.

I offer practical guidance on how to track behavior when unsure of the emotional root, ensuring therapists don’t default to labeling it as anger. By taking a moment to analyze the child’s behavior and the themes present, we can make more accurate emotional reflections and deepen the therapeutic process. This episode challenges us to move beyond surface-level assumptions and truly understand the underlying emotions in aggressive play.

In this Session Savvy episode of the Play Therapy Podcast, I explore a common misinterpretation in child-centered play therapy: assuming that aggression in a child’s play is rooted in anger. While aggression may appear linked to anger, it’s essential not to make that assumption unless the child ...

10/01/2024

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I speak with C.R. Stewart, author of the Britfield series, about the power of wholesome literature in shaping children’s emotional and intellectual development. We discuss how value-based stories can nurture your child’s creativity, critical thinking, and sense of self-worth, while providing an alternative to the media and screen time overload. Learn how you can empower your children with content that promotes family, courage, and hope.

Stewart shares insights into his creative process, the global impact of his books, and how parents can nurture creativity and courage in their children.

Stewart’s work is setting a new standard in children's literature by promoting values like family, courage, and loyalty.

Discover the Britfield series here: https://www.britfield.com/

https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/empowering-your-child-with-wholesome-stories-interview-with-britfield-author-c-r-stewart/

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I speak with C.R. Stewart, author of the Britfield series, about the power of wholesome literature in shaping children’s emotional and intellectual development. We discuss how value-based stories can nurture your child’s creativity, critical...

09/20/2024

I JUST finished my interview with author Chad Stewart, creator of the Britfield series of children's fiction novels. I can't wait to share this with you, it was such an interesting conversation! The video is in production and we will post it out as soon as we finished editing. Check out https://www.britfield.com to get a feel for this fantastic book series for kids.