12/04/2025
🚨🦝 NEW: Raccoon gets DRUNK at a Virginia ABC liquor store, trashes the place, and passes out on the bathroom floor — yes, this actually happened.
Hanover County Animal Protection says the “masked bandit” broke in on Black Friday, ransacked shelves, and then drank enough booze to knock himself out.
They found him passed out next to the toilet, like a tiny, furry college freshman.
The county’s statement is gold:
“Officer Martin safely secured our masked bandit and transported him back to the shelter to sober up before questioning.”
“After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild — hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer.”
From the news report:
• The raccoon “became intoxicated and passed out in the bathroom.”
• One anchor joked: “Head right near the toilet — we’ve all been there at some point in our lives.”
• Another added: “That’s a lot of liquor for a little raccoon.”
After sobering up, the bandit bounced back and was released.
This raccoon lived the full human experience in one night:
Black Friday shopping → bad decisions → too much alcohol → passed out in a bathroom → rescued by authorities → released back into the world.
Iconic.