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EX Melody

NYCTOPHILE 🌌🌘🌑

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐲 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

08/08/2024

She dumped me so I’m dating her landlord. We increasing the rent tomorrow.

07/01/2024

My wife wanted to humiliate me in her family by saying that I'm weak in bed, all her sisters shouted that it's not true.

06/22/2024

RESPEC TEACHERS 👇
A teacher entered the classroom and found the chair he was to sit on hung to the ceiling. He looked at the students and smiled. Without saying a word, he proceeded to the blackboard and wrote:

Test - 15 min, 30 marks.

Q1. Calculate the distance between the chair and the floor in centimetres (1 Mark).

Q2. Calculate the angle of inclination of the chair to the ceiling, show your workings (1 Mark)

Q3. Write the name of the student who hung the chair to the ceiling and the friends who helped him. (28 Marks).

05/24/2024

Dear lord please fight my battles coz if I do it myself, I'll get arrested.

05/23/2024

"Crying doesn't mean you're weak, it means you've been strong for too long."

05/04/2024

Kissing your girlfriend during an argument is only for whites.. these african women will keep talking inside your mouth 🤦‍♂️😂

04/19/2024

A group of professors were called and sat on a plane.
When the doors closed and the plane is about to take off, all the professors were informed that this plane is made by their students. Then all the professors rush toward the plane doors, trying to escape and survive on their own with exception of One professor remain seated with so much confidence and calmness.
Someone's asked him why you're not escaping the plane.
Professor answer him with confidence, they are our students.
Next Question: are you sure that you taught them well?
Professor replied quietly: I'm Sure it won't fly.
🤗🤗

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

HAVE A GREAT DAY AHEAD 😃

EYA Oliver Uchenna®️

04/14/2024

If you still have the same mobile number for 5 years, you're a very stable person.

04/09/2024

NAKED TRUTH ABOUT DATING A MARRIED MAN.
maybe you are reading this in a hotel room where he left you last night

1. He drops you off and drives back to his wife and kids.

2. He throws away used condoms as he goes home.

3. He buys sweets to clean your fragrance no matter how expensive it can be

4. He forgives himself for cheating as he is driving to the mother of his children.

4 He first takes shower to remove your unwanted sweats.

5. He then convinces himself that he can't leave his wife and children because of you.

6. He hugs her and ask his children about education.

7. He eats food cooked by his wife not two pieces of KFC he bought for you.

8. After eating he relax on the couch, and they both go to the bedroom.

9. They discuss about the future while she is lying on his chest.

10. Then they make love (not s*x which he had with you).

11. He doesn't take bath after it because he is used to that aroma of his wife.

12. She continues lying on his chest while discussing their investment, policies and planning their anniversary.

13. And you are alone struggling with s*x because he just did a fast.

14. you are slowly turning to the resting zone of a bored husband of some wife

04/08/2024

Deeper meaning 🫣🤔

04/07/2024

A pilot was told to transfer ma.d pe0ple from Nigeria 🇳🇬 to U.S.A. 🇺🇸He agreed and carried them into his plane🙂. Every place was noisy. Later one of the maad men approached the pilot and said to him “please teach me how to fly the aeroplane?The pilot replied, I will teach you how to fly it if you will tell your friends to stop making noise.😒

The maad man went in, after some minutes, everywhere was silent as if an angel entered the plane.😌 After some minutes the ma.d man came back and told the pilot that everywhere was cool now. The pilot became happy and asked what did you tell them that made them calm.The maad man replied, I opened the door for them to go and play outside.

The pilot fain*ted 🤣🤣🤣😂

03/14/2024

Sometimes I wish life could show us the future so that we don't waste time on things that aren't ours forever 😭

03/12/2024

If we Keep avoiding married men..you will never know beautiful hotel 🙄🙄🤣

02/25/2024

I pranked my wife that I saw her going at a lodge with a man yesterday...she apologized and said that they only kissed wuueh 🥹

02/19/2024

A Boss says to his secretary, “We are travelling abroad for the week, so make arrangements.”

The secretary makes a call to her husband, “My boss and I will be travelling abroad for the week, so look after kids.” 🥺

The husband makes call to secret lover, “My wife is going abroad for the week, so let’s spend the week together.” 🥰

The secret lover makes a call to a little boy whom she is giving private lessons, “I’m going to be busy throughout the week, so you need not come for classes.”🏃‍♂️😗

The little boy makes call to his grandfather, “Grandpa, I don’t have classes for the week, because my teacher is going to be busy. Let’s spend the week together.”🧘🏿‍♂️😋

The grandpa makes a call to his secretary, “I’m afraid we won’t be travelling again. My grandson and I are going to spend the week together.” 😂😂

The secretary makes a call to her husband, “My boss has some personal matters to attend to, so our trip is cancelled.” 😂😂😩

The husband makes a call to secret lover, “We cannot spend the week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.” 😭😭

The secret lover makes a call to little boy, “We will still have classes as usual this week.” 🥰😍

The little boy makes a call to his grandfather, “Grandpa! I’m sorry we won’t be able to spend the week together. My teacher called and said that I have to attend classes.” 💔💔😫

The grandpa makes a call to his secretary, “Change of plans! My grandson is no more coming. So we are still travelling this week. Make arrangements.”🙄

*Can someone pls tell me who is controlling this chain??*

02/18/2024

A man just came back from a journey that lasted one week. He sat down, looking tired, & unhappy. His 2-year old daughter came to him and goes: Daddy, Mummy has just gone out."

Daddy: "Where has she gone to?

Baby: "To do her hair".

Daddy: "OK".

Baby: "Daddy, are you annoyed."

Daddy: "Not at all. Why do you ask?

Baby: Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, if you smile to me now I will tell you who sleeps with Mummy on her bed each time you travel."
The man became very anxious, breathing heavily and his heart was just pounding, believing that the cat was going to be let out of the bag. He quickly oozed out a very broad smile, hugged the small girl pulled her closer to himself.

Daddy: "Oya tell me now, I've smiled. You want me to smile again." He kept on smiling.

Baby: Smiled, jumped up twice & said. Daddy, it's me. And I have stopped urinating on Mommy's bed... 😆😆😆😆

01/30/2024

I was broke until a friend of mine introduced me to aviator now am homeless 😭

10/30/2023

Married couples can have unprotected s*x for a year without having a baby... But us, Just one round boom twins 😭😂💔🙆‍♀️

Address

Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles, CA

Telephone

+254115676141

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