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Beauty, Brains, and Boundaries, LLC

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Lexington, SC
Beauty, Brains, and Boundaries, LLC

Hello! My name is Gayla (Nikki). I'm a motivational writer/image consultant/ that strives to help others establish and strengthen a positive self-image.
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Self-awareness is the BEAUTY from which our BRAINS retrieve knowledge about who we are, thus helping to establish BOUNDARIES that increase our self-worth and respect for other people.

07/22/2024

07/22/2024

07/18/2024

is all they come with.
alone

07/18/2024

to understand, not respond.

07/17/2024

It takes to be kind, therefore never be about it.

07/12/2024

has an entirely different flavor.

07/11/2024

not

07/10/2024

Don’t think twice. 💪

07/09/2024

Self-awareness is the BEAUTY from which our BRAINS retrieve knowledge about who we are, thus helping to establish BOUNDARIES that increase our self-worth and respect for other people.

07/09/2024

07/08/2024

Thanks for being a top engager and making it on to my weekly engagement list! 🎉

Sonya Ballard, Maričić Ljudmila, Bonnita Hinson, Pamela Marlow, Lissette Castillo, Malibongwe Chonco, LaJune Lowman, Edward Scott, Franklin Vergeson III, Tone Hes

07/08/2024

Can’t love anyone else without first loving yourself.

07/06/2024

First impressions are not always the right impressions.

07/05/2024

My gray coming in quite nicely! 💕💕
baby!!

07/05/2024

They don’t matter!

07/03/2024

Confident people don’t seek attention or validation.

07/03/2024

💪💪

Address

Lexington, SC
29071

Website

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#emotionalintelligence #personality #intelligence

#SelfCare

Lie if it requires it. But never to self.

#survivor

#reallove

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#intuition #energy

Nissan Altima. Why are they always banged up?

#energy

#beauty.poise.boundaries

Scared me a lil but fun!

#adventureawaits

#nodogmas #noheresies

#knowyourworth #discernment

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My Story

I’m preparing to release my first book. A book that’s taken quite some time to complete. It wasn’t an easy book to write because I had to expose some of my toughest experiences. However, the days we live in now, makes it the perfect time to share.

Please take a moment to read the introduction of ‘After the Benediction’ and stay tuned for the release of the book, very very soon.

Introduction

Born the third of four children, my father and mother named me Amelia Marie Blake. Raised in a small town in Ohio is where my siblings and I first encountered our Christian experience. From a very young age I can’t remember missing a day of church—I was baptized at seven, singing in the choir thereafter, and my younger brother was the youngest deacon I knew. Despite the importance our mother put on our Christian walk, it didn’t appear many others valued it as much, once noticing behavior that didn’t identify with God’s word as our mother taught us. The very thing that stood out most was her teaching on the Holy Spirit; something that greatly differs from mere church attendance and calling ourselves Christians, but rather, the means to generate change in oneself, and the strength to remain on a spiritual (not religious) journey despite what we may come against; something I didn’t start experiencing myself until years later, however.

As my attendance grew I became more suspicious of grownups who had been in the church for many years; hardly behaving in a way God would approve-- unconcerned with change and poorly perceiving the word of God by allowing dogmas and heresies to be passed off as truths. Consequent to this awareness, it seemed as though my very own pastor was the biggest culprit. Although some of his unjust behavior was only rumored, the disguise he wore in church was quite visible. Often, I noticed his constant need for inserting the tithes and offering basket any chance he could get. Advising us that it was a sin to withhold tithes from God. I asked my mother, “why do we have to give Pastor our money? Does he give it to God?” That’s when she explained the scripture in second Corinthians 9:7. “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not with reluctance, or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver.” Naturally, this made it even more confusing, because the scripture said nothing about how much, or, that it was a sin not to give money at all. So where did Pastor get his information? After all, many of the church members had sizable families, and giving money to the church as frequently as Pastor Swann begged was unreasonable and well above the ten percent traditionally desired. And what about helping those in need, shouldn’t that had been the priority of the church? With further interpretations coming from pastor himself finally gave me a little more understanding that to tithe means: our faith in giving produces a three-fold return (blessing); therefore, we shouldn’t be concerned with how much we give, because in our time of need God will always be there to provide. Sounds reasonable, but shouldn’t this apply to pastor and the money he needed to maintain the church, as he always declared as being the reason for giving? Lets re-examine this for a minute- my mother was taking from our home to give to assist with the churches debt, but also, giving to show faith in God. This sounded just as crooked as pastor himself. If my mom had to show faith by tithing, why couldn’t pastor exercise his faith that God would provide for the church and stop relying on everyone’s tithes to do it.

Amid his attempt to swindle each member, pastor was also like a bully in the schoolyard when tithes weren’t given to his satisfaction. Every year, weeks prior to Easter Sunday, two styrofoam cups with lids were given to each member with the expectation of receiving one hundred dollars per cup, despite our tithing many other times through the month. Those who gave were praised and those who didn’t were looked down upon… my mother was one of those who didn’t. Witnessing his behavior caused further suspicion. I wondered why he couldn’t just respect the tithes she gave through the month, especially knowing he practically forced people to give what they really didn’t have. Nevertheless, being a man of the cloth didn’t mean pastor was called.

Pastor Swann showed no remorse for his conduct after taking to the pulpit with anger pointing out and praising those who tithed two hundred dollars—leaving no mistake about who didn’t. My mother wasn’t only embarrassed by his remarks or lack of spiritual maturity; she was fed up with his behavior altogether. From then on her attendance dwindled to only once a month for the first few months and later became non-existent. But this didn’t mean we were off the hook; we still attended Sunday school, but it was certainly a relief not to sit in Church every Sunday listening to Pastor beg for money or take jabs at members who didn’t idolize his demands.

Overtime, more and more of Pastor’s behavior surfaced. It became clear that he wasn’t only a bully when it came to tithing; his wife was at the receiving end of his verbal assaults, with many suggesting that she fled from physical assaults as well. If that wasn’t enough, a rumor that he was having an affair with the church’s organ player emerged at the same time. Although I was rather young, being in Sunday school allowed me to connect the rumors to reality. However, his wife didn’t seem to be affected by any of the rumors, either. In fact, every Sunday she was all smiles; wearing her fur coats and driving her brand new Cadillac’s pastor purchased for her every couple of years-- it didn’t appear that she had a victim’s mentality at all. She thrived in her position as First Lady and even more at the idea of being seen as wealthy. It was a sinister marking on her face each time she was asked by one of us children, “Are you and Pastor rich?” Naturally, any child would believe they were from their ostentatious habits.

Pastor Swann would later make an even worse name for himself by openly resenting those who didn’t attend church. His ridicule towards those who didn’t tithe as he imposed was nothing compared to his repulsive behavior toward people like my father, who didn’t attend church at all. But lack of attendance was just the tip of the iceberg. The truth was, Pastor didn’t like running in the same streets with a member’s spouse. Of course, my father didn’t like him either and always referred to him as a fake preacher, even queasy about us attending church under his leadership. Dad grew up differently from mom. The streets became comfortable for him, and church had always been some type of joke—not the church itself but the many counterfeit Christians and clergy that filled the pews.

With Pastor unable to harness his deceptive behavior, people slowly started abandoning the church; leaving very few trusted clergy and members—this later led to embezzlement. Many fingers were being pointed, mostly at Pastor and the organ player, who soon resigned and left the church for good. It was impossible to declare who the real culprit was; however, the bankruptcy didn’t keep Pastor from claiming his pension and blaming all the financial ruin on one of the church’s most beloved deacons; a man who was a bona fide loyal member, serving both the church and Pastor with the greatest respect! Pastor Swann was the first false prophet I’d encountered, yet, too young to understand its significance.

Many pastors and clergy argue that their positions do not hold them to a higher moral standard than anyone else; apparently overlooking James 3:1 (KJV): “My brethren, be not many masters (teachers, ambassadors), knowing we shall receive the greater condemnation.” Pastor Swann’s spiritual framework showed more of a man still belonging to the world, not a man who had been given the honor to deliver God’s grace and protection over His people. Even with the Benediction being the shortest segment of the church service, it’s the most important! Some think of it as just a prayer we receive before exiting the church, but it’s really a message being put upon us of Gods promise of protection, no matter what we may face in our life.

As unfortunate as this all may seem, false prophets as well as many counterfeit Christians will find their way to the church; even by pretending to carry the fruits of the Spirit [love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)]. But fortunately for those who aren’t masking, Paul explained it best in 1 Corinthians 11:19: “… But, of course, there must be division among you, so that those who are approved may become evident among you.” To put it more clearly, factions reveal the genuineness of one’s practice.