06/27/2024
๐๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ญ๐ก ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ฅ: ๐๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฒ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฌ
By Jeffy the Journalist
We kitties are an exceptionally successful species. A pair of motivated moggies and their offspring can produce an entire army of feline overlords in just a couple of years. Our reproductive prowess means weโre taking over the world, but itโs been to our detriment.
๐๐จ๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ฒ ๐๐๐ญ๐ฌ, ๐๐จ๐ญ ๐๐ง๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ
Until recently, the human answer to our prolific proclivity has not been the slightest bit humane. Culling (aka killing) the brothers may have quickly cut down feral cats for a while, but eventually, new cats will move in to capitalize on the food source and start banging out more kittens. Since lethal solutions havenโt been effective, rescuers currently rely on trap, neuter, and release programs (TNR) to manage feral cat populations. However, this is expensive and some of we kitties can sense a trap from a mile away.
Birth control, on the other paw, could offer an easier, more cost-effective solution. Everyone knows how hard we are to pill, but research regarding grey squirrels may be what we need to apply the baby brakes.
๐๐ก๐๐ซ๐โ๐ฌ ๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐จ ๐๐ฎ๐๐ก ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐ข๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐
Around the world, non-native species are wreaking havoc with endangered animals and costing a tail-load in economic and environmental damage. Exhibit A: American grey squirrels going nuts in the United Kingdom (UK).
In 1876, royal-adjacent landowners in the UK thought the American greys (not to be confused with ET grays) were so cute, they brought them across the Pond to be cute on British estates. You know the biblical command, โBe cute and multiply.โ The greys took that literally. Thanks to the greys, UKโs native red squirrel is now classified as endangered. Thereโs even evidence that grey squirrels may eat songbird eggs and nestlings. And with their sharp teeth, greys kill native trees by stripping the bark, costing the timber industry around ยฃ37 million a year (approximately $47 million.)
๐๐ซ๐๐ฒ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ญ๐ ๐๐จ
The Brits tried many of the same lethal control methods on greys that are used on we kitties. Poisons, hunting, or trapping are frankly barbaric, messy, and expensive. In 2015, 21,000 greys involuntarily went to squirrel Heaven, costing around ยฃ60 (approximately $75) per squirrel. And the public wasnโt on board with killing cute fuzzies with big eyes. Who wants to be the villain in squirrel Bambi's origin story, right? Besides, extermination isnโt effective with either greys or kitties; we can both reproduce faster than they can eliminate us.
This led British scientists to investigate a novel approach to control grey nut hoarders: birth control. Iโm not talking about putting rubbers on tiny squirrel wangs. Instead of giving Mrs. Grey a calendar pill dispenser, trials are underway to test hazelnut treats spiked with one of two contraceptives. Both vaccines are equal opportunity procreation disrupters; they work on both him and her.
Preliminary results suggest the method is working. So far, no side effects have been observed in either of the oral contraceptives being tested. The vaccine is mammal-specific, so birds arenโt at risk. Scientists still need to make sure these contraceptives don't mess with the delicate ecological balance, and they hope to have Project Nut Buster (my title, not theirs) in operation in four or five years.
Itโs not just squirrels and cats in the crosshairs of annoyed society. Trials are underway in Europe to get contraceptives into other nuisance species. Across the UK and Europe, wild boars are makinโ way too much bacon. Italian farmersโ associations say the wild boar population has doubled, up from 500,000 in 2010 to one million in 2020. Boars tear up crops, scatter trash, and cause traffic accidents.
While these early trials might not involve we kitties directly, feral and stray felines across the globe could be the biggest beneficiaries of these new fertility developments. Sure, it might take years to get these kitty contraceptives fully operational, but when they do, itโll be a game-changer. No more extreme methods of population control or relying on those expensive and labor-intensive TNR programs. Maybe someday soon, with contraceptive tuna treats in our bellies, we can finally put an end to the feline overpopulation crisis while keeping our nine lives (and our balls) intact.
Sources:
Animal & Plant Health Agency. โGrey squirrel fertility control research Frequently asked questions โ February 2021.โ 2024-02. https://s3-eu-west-1.amazonaws.com/media.squirrelaccord.uk/2021/02/UKSA_fertility_control_research_FAQs_February_2021_-_research_-_UK_Squirrel_Accord.pdf. Accessed 2024-06-14.
Phoebe Weston. โHow do you put pigeons on the pill? Scientists test contraceptives to curb pest numbers.โ The Guardian. 2024-06-14. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/article/2024/jun/14/wildlife-pest-invasive-species-control-contraceptives-squirrels-pigeons-boars. Accessed 2024-06-14.
Helena Horton. โOral contraceptives could help reduce grey squirrel numbers, research finds.โ The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/jul/11/oral-contraceptives-could-help-reduce-grey-squirrel-numbers-research-finds. 2022-07-11. Accessed 2024-06-14.
Jason Gilchrist. โGrey squirrels: is birth control the solution to Britainโs invasive species problem?โ The Conversation. 2021-02-03. https://theconversation.com/grey-squirrels-is-birth-control-the-solution-to-britains-invasive-species-problem-154400. Accessed 2024-06-24.
