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Jamir Hezekiah, Leesburg, VA (2025)

01/14/2025

You Have No Idea...

You are the cosmos that I've always imagined,
The universe where my heart beats, and my soul resides...
You're the missing piece that makes me whole,
My best friend, soulmate, twin flame, and my forever goal...

Damn, you have no idea, how deeply I adore,
How wildly I'm attracted to the beauty that you store...
You have no idea, but I am utterly, hopelessly, and honestly in love with you,
You're my universe where I was meant to be, my heart belongs to you...
You're the one I yearn to share my dreams with,
The onenI crave to get lost in, and make memories that forever cling...
You're the one I desire to make slow, gentle love to,
And the one I long to ignite with passion, and make our love shine through...

I envision us in the kitchen, cooking up a storm,
With you on the counter top, and me forever adoring, and loving you more and more...
I see us in the bubble bath, relaxing and at peace,
With your head on my chest, and your hands on my thighs, our love released...
You have no idea that I rush through meetings, just to send you a text,
That I pull over on the side of the road, just to send you a kiss and make our love connect...
You have no idea that your smile lights up my world,
And your sad heart makes mine ache with a love that's unfurled...

When I send you random texts, you have no idea, it's always been love,
When I brush the hair out of your eyes, you have no idea, it's always been love...
When I say sorry for the slightest mistakes, you have no idea, it's always been love,
But you have no idea, what it was, and how it makes me feel, sent from above...
I send you flowers, when you least expect it,
I stare at you, leaving alone the moon, and still, I say, "You're so beautiful, it's a sin"...
I gaze at you, during the movie, even though you're engrossed,
I hold your hand, when you're busy typing, on your phone, my love, of course...

I do all this, because you have no idea what you mean to me,
How you make me fall deeper, every moment, wild, and carefree...
I send you goodnight messages, or I oftentimes say, "I'm missing you",
Because you have no idea, how someone could so deeply love you...
I look into your eyes, and tell you, you're the most beautiful girl in the world,
And still, you don't believe me, because you have no idea, how much and how deeply someone would love you.
But I do, even if you have no idea, how deeply someone could fall for you,
But I did, and I will fall further deep, my love, forever true...

01/14/2025

Find someone who is proud to have you, scared to lose you, appreciate you, respect you, cares for you and loves you unconditionally....

01/14/2025

"If you are not born like hunger after a long fast, don't try. What does not burn inside serves nothing outside. Do it only if in silence you feel that you betray something important, like the sigh that escapes unintentionally. Because life needs no more empty gestures, but actions that have roots and a little soul. "

01/14/2025

Arrived a time we are more our dead than ours
alive.
With each loved one that dies we die a little, it's true; but it's also true that they begin to live in
we in a way that never made it in life (I guess that)
it must be because we can't defend ourselves from his absence like we did from his presence

01/14/2025

George Orwell once said: “The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood.”

It’s the kind of loneliness that doesn’t come from silence, but from the overwhelming noise of a world that doesn’t truly hear you. You stand in a room full of people, laugh when it’s expected, speak when the moment demands it, and yet, in your heart, you feel invisible. You feel like the truest parts of yourself—the raw, unpolished, and beautifully complex pieces of who you are—go unnoticed, misunderstood, or even ignored.

This is a different kind of ache, one that lives deep in the soul. It’s not about missing someone’s presence, but about missing connection, longing for the kind of bond that allows you to feel truly seen. It’s not the absence of love, but the absence of recognition—of being known for all that you are, without needing to filter or edit yourself to fit into someone else’s understanding.

To be misunderstood is to feel disconnected. It’s like speaking a language no one around you understands, shouting your truth into the void, hoping someone will hear and respond. Instead, you’re met with blank stares, polite nods, or worse, a misinterpretation of who you are. The world seems to focus only on the surface, skimming over your depths, while you yearn for someone to dive in and swim beside you.

In these moments, you may question yourself. You may wonder, “Is there something wrong with me?” or, “Should I change to make others understand?” You might be tempted to reshape yourself to fit their expectations, to dull your edges or brighten your colors. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t fade. Because in trying to conform, you lose pieces of yourself, slowly becoming a shadow of who you once were—a ghost of your former self.

The truest ache of loneliness isn’t about being alone; it’s about feeling unseen.

To feel truly understood by someone is to experience a connection that goes beyond words. It’s when someone looks into your eyes and sees the parts of you that you’ve kept hidden—the scars, the dreams, the doubts—and chooses to stay. It’s when someone not only hears your words but also feels the emotions behind them. It’s the moment when you realize you don’t have to explain yourself; they already understand.

And yet, in this deep loneliness, there is strength. The resilience of holding onto your authenticity, even when it feels invisible to others. The quiet courage of refusing to fade into the expectations of the crowd. You may feel unseen, but the essence of who you are—the light, the fire, the complexity—is still alive. It waits, patiently, for the right people, the ones who will see you clearly and cherish all that you are.

The beauty of being misunderstood is that it allows you to understand yourself. In the absence of connection, you learn to be your own anchor. You discover the importance of nurturing your own soul, celebrating your uniqueness, and staying true to your essence. And as you grow, as you embrace your full self, the world begins to shift.

The right connections—the ones that see you for who you truly are—arrive when you least expect them. They see beyond the surface and into your heart. They listen, not just with their ears but with their soul. These are the connections that remind you that you were never meant to fade; you were meant to shine.

So, even in the depths of this terrible loneliness, hold on to your essence. Refuse to disappear. Let your light burn brightly, even if no one seems to notice right now. The people who are meant to see it—your people—will find you. And when they do, you’ll realize that the wait, the ache, and the loneliness were all part of a journey to something extraordinary.

To be known, truly known, is to be celebrated in your wholeness. It is the antidote to loneliness.
Hold on. Shine on. You are seen, even if not by the world yet.

Have you ever felt lonely even in a room full of people? What do you think caused that feeling?

01/14/2025

Have you ever seen the moon and said she looks beautiful, and then you take a picture of it but she looks little ugly and blurry, and even though she looks like that in the picture you know she's beautiful.
How do you explain her beauty if in the photo she looks so small and pale, the moon doesn't know that she is beautiful because it hasn't been seen shining, and look I'm not talking about the moon.

01/14/2025

"Once you grow up, you realize you don't want to be crazy in love.
You want to be calm in love,
stable in love, patient in love,
understood in love, safe in love.
Your partner should give you peace of mind and reassurance, not constant little heart attacks and high anxiety." ❤️‍🔥

01/14/2025

I wish I had held on just a moment longer.
I didn’t know it was the last time.

The last time to hear your laugh,
The last time to feel your warmth,
The last time to say ‘I love you’ and see it reflected back in your eyes.

Grief is a collection of all the things we never knew were ‘lasts.’
Moments we took for granted,
Not because we didn’t care, but because we thought we had more time.

Now, every hug feels heavier,
Every word carries the weight of what I wish I had said before it was too late.

If I could go back, I would hold you tighter.
Not just because I miss you,
But because I never want to forget what it felt like to hold you close.

01/14/2025

"Before you leave, try to have tried your best, try to have attempted until the impossible and then you will have nothing to return." And when they leave, don't chase anyone, if you tried with all your heart and it wasn't enough, then you were trying in the wrong heart.”.

01/14/2025

"In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy.
For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger –
something better, pushing right back.

01/14/2025

Finally, I'm no longer obsessed with knowing who you are with after you left me. I'm no longer interested in knowing if you ever ached for me while I was longing for you. Sometimes we lose people because they never wanted the best for us even though we gave them the best of ourselves. I'm finally healed, this is me finally understanding that you didn't really care even though you said you did. This is me finally letting go of the idea that you were a perfect example of right person, wrong timing. You weren't right for me and even though I loved every inch of you, I wasn't right for you either. Sometimes things end because we have better things beginning for us. Thank you for leaving, thank you for staying gone because deep in my heart, I know I would come running to you everytime you'd say you wanted me back. Everytime you'd lie that you missed me, I would betray myself and choose you over myself. So thank you for staying away while I was healing myself. Thank you for leaving. You taught me how to forgive myself for not knowing better until I knew what I deserved. Finally there's nothing that ties me to you and this comes with so much liberty.

01/14/2025

We don't get to choose who we fall in love with.
It's not a voluntary process.
It's an involuntary process.
It's a very real chemical reaction that occurs based on how your mind gives meaning to your interaction with another.
However, we do get to choose whether or not we engage with this person, choose a deeper life with the person, and use our psychology, our spirituality, and all of our intuitive capabilities to determine if our object of desire is good for us or bad for us.
Our childhood determines whether our perception of love includes neglect and abuse.
If it does, then we will spend a great deal of time determining whether the person we fall in love with is on our familiar patterned track of non-love, or if they are on our upward growth curve of healing.
If the person we are in love with falls into patterning that is a restimulation of our original dysfunction, the goal is to learn to walk away from that.

01/14/2025

"The true horror of existence is not the fear of death, but the fear of life. It is the fear of waking up each day to face the same struggles, the same disappointments, the same pain. It is the fear that nothing will ever change, that you are trapped in a cycle of suffering that you cannot escape. And in that fear, there is a desperation, a longing for something, anything, to break the monotony, to bring meaning to the endless repetition of days."
— Albert Camus, The Fall

01/14/2025

Whatever happens, stay alive. Don't die before you're dead. Don't lose yourself, don't lose hope, don't lose direction.
Stay alive, with yourself, with every cell of your body, with every fiber of your skin.
Stay alive, learn, study, think, read, build, invent, create, speak, write, dream, design.
Stay alive, stay alive inside you, stay alive also outside, fill yourself with colours of the world, fill yourself with peace, fill yourself with hope.
Stay alive with joy.
There is only one thing you should not waste in life, and that's life itself.
~Virginia Woolf
art | Nino Chakvetadze's Art

01/14/2025

The next time you see me, I won't be in love with you. I won't fight for you anymore, I'm raising my white flag, this battle between us is over. I just don't think you're worth it anymore. I've worn myself down, I am exhausted, so this is my surrender. You've won, I'll let you walk away, but don't ever say I didn't fight for you.

01/14/2025

"I could never think of hurting you, for my love for you remains unwavering and true,
Consciously, I've never intentionally caused you pain, nor would I ever do.
I've been loving your heart with meticulous care, oblivious to my own heart's demise,
Protecting your back with devotion, unaware of the moment I was cast aside.

I was blind to the moment you chose to let me fall from your heart,
Unaware of the instant you vanished from my sight, shattering my vision apart.
Since your departure, my poetry has transformed, no longer a gentle soul,
Now, it cuts like a knife, bearing shards of my heart, a reflection of my pain.

I've built walls around myself, a fortress to shield my vulnerability,
My poetry is the warning sign, a graffiti that cautions against intrusion.

These words are a testament to my self-loathing, a mask that hides my tears,
A decoration of sorts, a self-imposed seclusion, where I reside with my poetry and memories of you.
I don't require pity, love, or care from others; my life is self-sufficient,
Yet, I continue to love you, even amidst the ashes of what we once shared.

My words may seem like complaints, but I've ceased to care about others' sentiments,
I'm not blaming you, nor should you blame me; my feelings take precedence.
With my bleeding heart in hand, I'll continue to fall for you, through every season,
My heart and whims dictate how I'll love you, unapologetically and forever.

Time, day, or season won't deter me; awake or asleep, my love will persist,
I'll express my soul through poetry, unbridled and raw, whether it soothes or cuts like a knife.
I dare you, I'll forever love you with the unbridled passion of my soul,
Like a man who knows how to love his beloved, with every fiber of his being".

01/14/2025

I Tried to Hold You....

I tried to hold you, but you slipped through my grasp,
Like a whisper in the wind, too fleeting to last.
I fought against the tides, desperate to keep you near,
But life had other plans, and now, you're not here.

I couldn't stop the clock, no matter how hard I tried,
I couldn't change the story, no matter how much I cried.
The weight of what I couldn't do still sits within my soul,
A reminder of love so deep, yet beyond my control.

If love alone could build a bridge, you'd be right by my side,
If love alone could heal the ache, I'd never have to hide.
But now I carry your memory, a piece of you in me,
An eternal bond that time nor loss can ever set free.

You are the quiet in the storm, the stillness in my day,
The gentle nudge reminding me love never goes away.
Though I couldn't save you, and the ache still remains,
I’ll honor your light, even through the pain.

Grief doesn’t ask permission, it just settles in our chest,
But love gives us courage to find moments of rest.
For in every tear that falls, your presence softly stays,
Guiding me gently through these endless days.

01/14/2025

sometimes we need to realize that it's better to just let things be or to let things go. let the people go, those people who don't deserve the spot in your life. don't fight for closure, don't ask them for an explanation, and don't chase them for an answer. just never expect people to understand what you're going through and where you're coming from. they don't deserve u at all.

Jamir Hezekiah

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