05/19/2024
For my mechanic friends.
I found myself today, standing at a chain parts store counter. To some degree, I knew what to expect. There were air fresheners, Beef Jerky and plastic doo-dads on the counter. I say to the clerk - "I need a set of valve cover gaskets for a big block Chevy - Mark IV head." Of course I get asked - "What year?"....and the fun begins. the following is the actual conversation...
Me - "It doesn't matter really...they made them from the late 60s up until the mid 80s....so look up a 1970 Chevelle with a 454."
Clerk - "They dont list a 454 for a 1970 Chevelle"
Me - "They did, but ok...try a 1975 1 ton truck."
Clerk - "What size engine?"
Me - "Same...454"
Clerk - "They didnt put a 454 in a 1975 1 ton truck either."
Me - "Ok...try a 1969 Camaro, Chevelle, El Camino, Corvette, and any of them should show a 396, 427, or 454".
Clerk - "If you dont know what kind of car or the right size engine, I cant help you. We dont carry parts for engines that big".
Me - "Will you show me the screen?"
Clerk - "Fine.....if you think you can find it, go ahead (with an attitude)."
Me - (Patient and hoping to use this as a teaching experience) "Honestly, I dont even need to look at the screen and I promise you I can tell you why you cant find it."
Clerk - "I've been selling parts for 5 years...go ahead and let's see."
Me - "Without even looking at the screen Sir...if you sell FelPro, the part number you should see on your screen would be a FelPro VS30055, add an R for the rubber ones. If it were a small block Chevy, it would be a VS12869. Aside from flat VW engines, SBC and BBC are pretty much the most common engines out there...and you really should know the part number by heart, to the most common gasket that leaks on those engines. So if you have that VS30055R on the shelf, I'll take it. And by the way....(as I pointed to the screen)....see that 7.4L right there..."
Clerk - "Yes"
Me - "Do you know what that means?"
Clerk - (smart ass tone) "Yeah....its the size of the engine...7.4L is a lot smaller than 454. I dont know how you fit an engine that big in a car."
Me - "With a very big hammer. Can you also get me a set of brake pads for a 1983 Corvette?"
Believe it or not....the clerk actually set brake pads on the counter.
I decided to do the fella 2 courtesies.
Me - "I know youre frustrated with me...but here's some old man wisdom...just because you work here, never assume that the greasy handed person in torn jeans and stained tshirt standing in front of you, knows less than you. That person may just be able to teach you something and you should try to learn everyday. Lastly...I have no idea how you found brake pads for a 1983 Corvette."
Clerk - "I looked it up for a 1984 model because we didn't list them for a 1983."
Me - "Would you do the same if I asked you for a heater hose for a VW Beetle?"
Clerk - "Funny...VW beetles are air cooled."
Me - "Go ahead and ring me up on those VS30055 valve cover gaskets but put the brake pads back. They never made a 1983 Corvette, those certainly are the wrong pads, and yes, VW beetles had heater hoses. Since the engine is in the back, how do you think the hot air made it to the floorboard up front?"
As I walked out, I asked the clerk if he had an iPhone or an Android phone. He said iphone. I asked him if it was in his pocket...he says yes. I asked him to take it out of his pocket and place it on the counter unlocked so he did.
Me - "Hey Siri....convert 7.44 liters to cubic inches"......
Good ol Siri knew what a 454 was.
And some people wonder why so much business is done online now instead of chain stores. This is why we need small, family owned businesses back...people who know what the hell they are doing. Support your local old school businesses...they (we) need you.