Lakewood Shmooze

01/24/2025

This.

10/07/2024

A year ago, everything changed, and really nothing changed.

Monsters gleefully rampaged through peaceful towns happily murdering civilians. They slaughtered parents in front of their children, and children in front of their parents. And they did all of that on camera in front of the whole world. They murdered people dancing at a festival, they murdered people in their homes. They murdered people as they fled and as they hid. They killed pets. They burned people, sometimes whole families alive.

Then they proudly desecrated the corpses. Often on camera for the whole world to see.

They chanted God is great as they did it. They called their parents and bragged about it. And their parents were proud of them and their wonderful news.

And then they brought the bodies of the dead and hostages back to Gaza. They proudly paraded them through the streets as trophies to the cheering crowds who gleefully spit on the hostages and tried to get in their own blows.

A year ago, hundreds of thousands around the world poured out into the streets to celebrate the horror, the death, the pain and suffering. The celebrations were from college professors and religious leaders, devout feminists, LGBTQ activists and beyond.

A year ago, America's greatest warship pulled a u turn in the Atlantic and headed right back to the middle east.

A year ago, Iran stepped up attacks on US bases around the middle east, spilling American blood. I still don't understand that.

A year ago, soldiers and airmen from around the world knew they would be called upon and that not all of them would be returning.

A year ago, I sat in my synagogue with family and friends, when the Rabbi got up and announced that something terrible had happened in Israel. Israel is now at war. Terrorists had captured entire towns, and hundreds, probably thousands are dead.

I had been expecting to dance with the Torah. I had been expecting my kids to be eating too much candy and getting into trouble with their friends. Instead, we switched to psalms. And then we danced with the torah. But everything had an ominously pensive note to it.

A year ago, I found out how my great-grandparents felt 100 years ago in Germany. And I got to show my children what my great-grandparents showed my grandparents: We carry on.

Once I got online, I saw the madness that's become all too familiar now: people simultaneously celebrating the attacks, while claiming the IDF actually killed the civilians, and also claiming it was all CGI. And then somehow claiming that the attackers were the actual victims.

A year ago, several coworkers, who I'm not especially close with, walked up to me and quietly asked if I was OK. They asked about my family and friends. I can't sufficiently express my gratitude and admiration to them.

But they had to do it quietly.

I used to think Holocaust denial was a product of history, naivete, and gas lighting. It's not. It's the desire to facilitate further horrors by trying to give good people the opportunity look away. I commend those who don't.

And over the next few days we all saw hostage posters being torn down by people pretending there were no hostages. Oddly enough, when Israel negotiated to have 100 hostages released no one apologized about tearing down the posters. In fact, we saw those same people praise the monsters for treating people, who had obviously been starved, maltreated, and in some cases obviously tortured, for the fine treatment they had provided.

We saw the usual media outlets happily manipulated by terrorists and enemy governments.

This has all happened before. It's not new. It's just frightening and sad to watch the world descend into this madness again. We don't have to do this again. I hope we don't. But it looks like we are.

Let's hope this coming year the good people of the world pull together so that we can actually have a much brighter future.

Don't look away.

08/15/2024

From TLS, watch as the pedestrian seems to intentionally slow down and brace himself in order to get hit by the car.

As earlier reported on TLS Status, a pedestrian crossing outside the crosswalk on Rt. 9 in Lakewood this morning was struck by a vehicle. The pedestrian can be seen getting up and walking to the side. But moments after being struck by the vehicle, the pedestrian and multiple friends of his – repor...

07/31/2024

From TLS, the charges against Rabbi Osher Eisemann were dismissed. Our comment's section is wide open for apologies from the hundreds of low-IQ residents of Ocean County who previously convicted him on social media while simultaneously making bigoted and anti-Semitic comments.

In the great US of A we are innocent until proven guilty. Today Rabbi Eisemann was vindicated. We look forward to reading your apologies below.

07/22/2024

Weather in Lakewood will not be as hot this week and we are looking at some rain midweek. From Weather.com

07/21/2024

Donald J Trump will give us back our shopping bags.

07/18/2024

Welcome back to the Shmoo! Today's question was submitted by the internet. Yesterday when we posted a picture of State Police using a minivan to pull over a car, we were again reminded that we underestimate the sheer stupidity of so many people that post comments on Ocean County pages. So here's the question. Do Orthodox or Hasidic Jews have their own police force? The answer is,

1) Absolutely not.
2) That's an incredibly ignorant question.
3) Stop reading the comments on Facebook posts and considering that educating yourself.

Here's what you are likely seeing If you see a private vehicle driving by with flashing lights: An EMS volunteer taking time out of his personal life to help another person in need, Jewish or not.

Is it legal for volunteer EMS to put strobe lights on their personal vehicles? I'm glad you asked! The answer is yes, of course! This is a common sense law that allows for emergency volunteers to get to the site of an emergency as quickly as possible. They're not trying to pull you over. Just stop it. The amount of Karens and Chads who are convinced that they are being pulled over to be robbed of the 62 cents in their cup holder is astounding.

Here is a link with more information about the law in New Jersey. Please note the part that requires other drivers to yield. https://codes.findlaw.com/nj/title-39-motor-vehicles-and-traffic-regulation/nj-st-sect-39-3-54-11/

Below our three comments recently submitted to our page by non-Jewish followers of our page regarding Hatzolah.

" My husband was in car accident about 1 month ago in Toms River. The 2 EMS were Jewish men and they calmed my husband down and were super cool and sweet to us."

" I am a gentile and had the need for Hatzolah to transport my by ambulance and can say without hesitation that they were the most professional and compassionate people that I have ever met during a time of need."

"Hatzolah helped me and my family more then once, a great asset to Lakewood and the area."

Why is Hatzolah needed? Look no further than the recent controversy in Toms River regarding response-times for Township ambulance services. People who have called for an ambulance in Toms River have waited 45 minutes to an hour, and sometimes longer to get the help they need. This is the norm, not the exception.

Since volunteers are regular people within the community, working regular jobs amongst the population they will usually be closer to the site of the emergency than dispatched township medics, drastically cutting down on response times. What would you want if your loved one is having a heart attack God-forbid.

Have a question? Submit it to The Schmooze for discussion! Disclaimer, we will only entertain legitimate questions. We're not here to convert N***s.

The L𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱 community's center for news and discussion.

07/17/2024

A nice gesture by a local store on a hot day.

07/17/2024

Edit: Okay, it seems the sarcasm was missed by the internet trolls with the IQ of a jar of mayonnaise. This picture was shared on a page dedicated to the Garden State Parkway. It seems that the State Police are using minivans as undercover vehicles. To clarify, this is not really a Jewish police force. And it's pretty amazing that we needed to clarify that. God bless.

07/16/2024

A child died in a car yesterday in an apparent hot car death. The Ocean County social media mafia, characterized by the average IQ of 68 has already declared the father guilty of murder, the Orthodox community of "overbreeding" and other insinuations that are too ugly to repeat.

The callous disregard for the lives of a family that is going through the most painful situation imaginable is appalling. Ocean County social media has long been a cesspool of bigotry, antisemitism and hate. But it seems to be outdoing itself now.

I can cite statistics of hot car deaths nationally. I can share stories of parents who committed su***de after enduring this horror. I can share letters from national organizations that were born to combat hot car deaths.

But that's all not necessary. Because when there is such a callous disregard for a family that just lost an 8-week-old child, sharing facts would be counterproductive. People feigning horror and blaming the parents are simply using this episode as a conduit to attach their hate.

Logic tells us otherwise. Parents love their children. There must be something deeper going on. Spouting off on social media won't bring the child back, it will make you look like an ass.

The L𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗼𝗱 community's center for news and discussion.

07/03/2024

A reader submitted a question about driving in Lakewood. This is probably the number one question we get and it certainly warrants attention. This is a longer post so buckle up.

Driving in Lakewood is absolutely an issue. I do not allow my teenage child to drive in Lakewood. That's how concerning it is to me. With that said I'd like to clarify the question before giving an answer.

Many bigoted people insinuate, or openly assert that poor driving is an Orthodox Jewish thing. That is easily debunked. You can look around at the hundred or so Orthodox Jewish communities in North America where there are no such issues. Similarly, in surrounding towns where Orthodox Jews have moved in there has not been a tangible increase in car accidents outside of the more congested areas of Jackson.

The reason why there are so many car accidents in Lakewood, and driving just seems to be so chaotic is because of overdevelopment and inadequate streets to handle all of the traffic. First off, this leads to many intersections that need traffic lights but don't yet have. That process can take a while. But more importantly, this leads to stressed drivers and stressed drivers drive aggressively and poorly.

Think about it. It's 8:48 a.m. and you need to be at work at 9:00. The kids need to be at school at 9:00. You're sitting in bumper to bumper traffic and not moving anywhere. While most people are disciplined, many are not. Some will try and take the shoulder. Others will honk their horn. And others will run red lights.

It is important to note though, this is absolutely not unique to the Jewish population of Lakewood. Yes, Jewish people are the majority of the population and the most visible. But as someone who's been driving in Lakewood for approximately 25 years some of the worst drivers I've seen are not of the Jewish faith.

I recall one incident where I was heading north on Massachusetts at the intersection of prospect sitting at a red light about 3 cars from the intersection. It was shortly before 9:00 a.m. A clearly non-Jewish woman with an "I love my furry friends" bumper sticker angrily pulled out from behind me into oncoming traffic and made a left through the red light on to Prospect St. She narrowly missed hitting a Jays bus full of children head on. (Off topic for a second, but can you imagine the comments on social media had that accident actually occurred?)

So what is the solution? I don't know the answer to that. I wish they would put a moratorium on further development until the infrastructure can catch up. But that's not going to happen. Defensive driving is a skill that must be practiced and taught. For my own children, I will absolutely not let them drive in Lakewood until I'm comfortable that they've mastered the skills of defensive driving. Give yourself extra time, turn on some music and smile. Share the road and be courteous.

We welcome your questions! Have a question about the Jewish community? Send it to us and we'll be happy to discuss it, provided that it's not a "gotcha" question. We are not here to convert N***s.

06/30/2024

Introducing a new series on Lakewood Shmooze! We're going to be debunking misinformation and answering questions regarding the Orthodox Jewish community in Ocean County.

I've noticed that the quality of the comments and the IQ of the commenters on Ocean County social media pages has disintegrated into absolute drivel. And because our average IQ in New Jersey is approximately 49, this drivel now becomes the de facto education for many about my community.

Have a question about the Orthodox Jewish community? Send it to us! We'll be happy to discuss it. Provided that it's a fair question, a genuine question and not a "Gotcha" question. We're not here to convert N***s.

In this screenshot, this lightbulb says (we think) that Orthodox Jews cannot get birth control. The commenter has impeccable sources in the form of an ex who worked for a dentist who is friends with a gynecologist.

The gynecologist told the dentist who then informed the ex of said commenter that said Hasidic woman inquired about birth control. She was then taken to a cult retreat to be reeducated.

To clear things up, this is a whole lot of hooey. Like any aspect of healthcare, Orthodox Jewish women have full access to birth control if they choose. The reality is that many of us come from large families and we value having children. We tend to have large tight-knit families and tight-knit communities.

That doesn't change the fact that woman go on birth control when they feel they need to. And yes, the Jewish community is subject to HIPAA regulations just like the rest of society. $600,000 fines are not enticing.

Submit your questions!

06/26/2024

RIP angels. Sending our prayers to the loved ones 💔

06/02/2024

Fundraiser for Jackson woman tragically killed in car accident last week.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/mother-of-7-tragically-passes-away

05/24/2024

So this hogwash was sent to Ocean County residents on the sample ballots.

"Uncommitted. Justice for Palestine. Ceasefire now."

This was listed as an option to vote for on the Democrat side. WTF, New Jersey!

05/19/2024

🤦

04/17/2024

Hell Naw!

04/05/2024

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/YjvJ7sHoZhdMVgPu/?mibextid=oFDknk

Sorry folks, my bad.