The Self-Caregiver, Jeanette Yates

07/01/2025

While caregiving is NO JOKE, since it's , I thought I would share a little silliness.

After all, if we can't laugh, we cry.

06/30/2025

Someone told me the other day that they "weren't a caregiver" for their mom when she was alive. She had been cared for by professional caregivers.

The woman who shared this with me occasionally felt guilty about it. Like she should have done more, but she just couldn't.

If you are like this woman, and struggle with the idea that if you aren't doing the care things, then you aren't a caregiver, I'd like to share something that helped me when I was caring for my mom.

Caring for our aging parents isn't about doing it all. It's about ensuring they receive the best care available to them. Sometimes that means we do it all. Sometimes that means others provide the hands-on care, and we supervise and coordinate.

Every situation is different. Don't judge yourself on someone else's circumstances or experiences.

You are doing enough, even if you aren't doing it all.

06/27/2025

In the days after my mom's death, I was on autopilot. I intellectually knew that the world would go on, so I kept going too. But after the shock wore off, I was, and I know this is going to sound weird to say, but...I was offended that everyone and everything didn't stop.

Yes, I, the boundary advocate, wanted everything to stop, and I couldn't believe it didn't. I was hurt and broken. In some ways, I am still hurt and broken, though I have forgiven the world for not coming to a screeching halt.

I had other hard thoughts too...

"Did I do enough?"

"Is it my fault?"

Now, I had already worked through that first one. I did enough. (I even wrote a book about it!) But the thought still came. A little doubt creeped in.

Another thing they won't tell you, or maybe they will, but, like me, you won't understand, but if you are the main caregiver, there is a chance that you will have to make a million decisions in the last days of your loved ones life... while you are stressed out, running on little sleep, watching your loved one fade right before you. And, if you are like me, you might replay those last days and hours and wonder if one of the decisions you made was "the thing" that caused your loved one to die.

Just to be clear, the answer is NO. But the thought will still come.

There are many more scary thoughts I have had, sad, doubtful, uncertain, but here's the thing.

I know thoughts aren't always true. I can have the thought and then let it go. I can get enough rest and talk to someone I trust if I need to. But just because I think it doesn't make it true.

I share all of this to remind you of that, too. You do not have to believe everything you think.

🫶-jeanette

06/25/2025

"Though I have benefited and am grateful for other caregivers who have shared their grief on social media, I was afraid to.

I didn’t want to try to process this life-altering event in front of you. I wanted to hold it close, experience it fully and privately, to let myself finally let go of my mom, the woman who I have clung to and had clung to me for so very long." ~excerpt from my latest Substack article.

Read it here: https://selfcaregiver.substack.com/p/my-grief-is-not-content

05/28/2025

I have been writing for a long time.

My first publication? The Jeanette Gazette in the sixth grade.

I love words, and have found inspiration and solace through them. I have gained knowledge and understanding through reading.

Words have been my way of understanding myself and my experiences and so I have countless journals and notebooks filled with them.

As I went through the darkest part of my caregiving journey, I wrote often, but I kept much of it to myself. I hid myself and how I felt, because I felt so much guilt and shame. I was a walking shadow.

I remember telling my therapist how I wanted to write a book, but I would not be able to publish it.

But I did publish it anyway. Why?
Because I knew I wasn't the only one feeling guilty, inadequate, and selfish. I knew I wasn't the only one who struggled to know when, or if, it was ever okay to say "no," ask for help, or let go.

If you are a caregiver, a daughter or son, trying to love your aging parent or parents well, but feel like you aren't doing enough, doing it right, or are tired of the frustration and guilt, I wrote my book for you. You are not alone.

Get your copy of From Guilt To Good Enough on Amazon.

05/14/2025

🔔 AVAILABLE (almost?) EVERYWHERE! 🌎

Ok, so maybe not "everywhere", but you can get your copy of my book, From Guilt To Good Enough, on Amazon, or, if you want to support independent book stores, you can swing by The Literary Lounge, a local, female (and teacher-owned!) bookstore is a Murray Hill gem that hosts workshops, book clubs, and events for all ages.

I am honored to work with them to get my book, From Guilt to Good Enough, into the hands of more readers. There are amazing books there!

If you are in Jacksonville, head over to The Literary Lounge and grab a copy of my book AND browse the other amazing books there!

The Literary Lounge
1080 Edgewood Ave S Suite 5

Call to order- (904) 503-0923

05/07/2025

I have always used writing to understand myself, my experiences, and the circumstances around me.

I have journals filled with tear-stained pages, angry scribbled words, and prayers of gratitude and joy.

Writing is my way of healing.

I write to bear witness, tell my own story, and share it with others in the hope they might find healing or encouragement in my words.

If you are a caregiver for a family member who feels wounded, worn out, drowning in a sea of guilt and doubt, frustration, and fear, I wrote my caregiving story, From Guilt To Good Enough, just for you.

Grab your copy here: https://www.theselfcaregiver.com/book

If you are a caregiver for a family member who feels wounded, worn out, drowning in a sea of guilt and doubt, frustration, and fear, I wrote my caregiving story From Guilt To Good Enough, just for you.

05/01/2025

04/30/2025

Now we get to the good part!

I am grateful for the opportunity to support local bookstores like and, of course, their support of me and other local authors.

I love meeting fellow authors, connecting with long-time friends, and sharing my book with caregivers who need to know they are enough.

If you are taking care of your aging parent(s) and it's beginning to feel overwhelming, frustrating, or just exhausting, From Guilt to Good Enough is for you!

You can purchase the book .

1080 Edgewood Ave S Suite #5, Jacksonville, FL 32205
Phone: (904) 503-0923 (Yes, they ship!)

For other ways to purchase the book, comment "book" and I'll send you a link!

04/17/2025

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ REVIEW of From Guilt to Good Enough!

Jeanette has a wealth of knowledge and wisdom from a lifetime of experience as a caregiver. Most of us don't know what that's like until later in life as our parents age.

Whether you find yourself caring for aging parents or were forced into the role of caregiver at an early age, no one prepares you for the toll it can take on your own life.

This book is a great resource to help all of us navigate the role of caregiver without losing ourselves in the process." Joe G.

To get your copy of From Guilt to Good Enough, click here: https://a.co/d/bfDZh1T