I remember this haircut, the Dorothy Hamill. I remember this swingset in my dad's backyard and my grandparents' house on the other side of that fence behind me.
I also remember being happy at times, like in this photo, but constantly struggling with insecurity...at school and even sometimes within my own family. It wasn't them, necessarily. It was me. My best friend/cousin was beautiful and girly; I was awkwardly sensitive and preferred t-shirts and jeans to cute outfits. No one ever said this was "bad," but I definitely felt like a weirdo.
I didn't fit in, and until I was well into adulthood, I thought that meant something was wrong with me. I was different; my home life was different, and I was dealing with things that most of my peers were not...divorced parents, a mom who was chronically ill, and adjusting to complicated family dynamics.
If I could go back and tell this little girl something, it would be, "You are not too much. You do not have to earn the love of your family. You will make mistakes, and that is ok. You will fail, but you will be ok. You are enough."
I know this isn't my typical "self-caregiver" content, but I wanted to share this with you anyway. Maybe you felt like this as a kid. You may still feel this way from time to time as you care for your parents.
If you are a caregiver that doesn't feel like you fit in with other caregiver groups or that the advice given doesn't work for you, I want you to know, you fit right in with me and the rest of The Self-Caregiver Community.
You are welcome here. You are enough.
You don't have to keep feeling like a bad caregiver… you ARE enough! 👉🏻 You CAN be a great caregiver without sacrificing your own well-being! >>>Get your copy of From Guilt to Good Enough, TODAY: https://a.co/d/2x2Vw7K Jeanette Yates
What is REALLY keeping you from taking the break you need? 🤔
Of course, "time," but that isn't all, is it? But figuring out exactly what is stopping you and pinpointing the problem so that you can actually do something about it? That is harder.
THAT is why I made this quiz. ✅
💬Just answer a few short questions and discover what keeps you from taking the break you know you need. Then, get action steps to help you get your caregiving break (without the guilt!)
Comment QUIZ to get started!
One Year of Grieving Your Loss
What I have learned in this last year without him, my biggest champion, is that grief changes but never goes away. While I’ve learned to live in this slightly off-kilter world as if it has been righted, it has not, and my grief knows it.I remember, celebrate, laugh, and cry about all the things we did and said, those memories that were wonderful, and also those that nearly broke us.I’ve learned to go about my business, the mundane and ordinary. I still care for mom and the kids, and tend to my life.But grief is a companion, not sad and weary, but a gentle presence remains. I miss you, Bruce. But you taught me to keep going anyway. Learn to rest, not to quit, so I keep going. #CapCut #Caregiving #Caregiver #CaregiverSupport #HealthyBoundaries #SettingBoundaries #CaregiverTips #CaregiverLife #SelfCareForCaregivers #SandwichGeneration #recoverylife #SelfCare #SelfLove #Boundaries #traumahealing #theselfcaregiver #caregiverinrecovery #generationaltraumabreaker #griefandloss #caregiversoftiktok
One of the most important things I have done on my journey to heal from the endless cycle of caregiver burnout is to let go of feeling guilty and inadequate as my mom's caregiver.
Caregiving is hard enough without carrying the weight of insecurity...
am I doing enough?
am I doing it right?
am I sufficiently cheerful about all of it?
It is guilt that keeps you stuck. The feeling of never meeting expectations, resentment, and frustration with yourself and others that keeps you on high alert, never allowing you to relax and receive rest.
Yes, you need more time to care for yourself, more people to step up and help, and some breathing room.
...but first, you need to believe you deserve all of that.
Try saying:
I am capable of setting healthy boundaries without being neglectful.
My parent's needs are important, and so are mine.
I am not responsible for my parent's emotions.
I am doing enough. I am enough.
And if you need reminders, encouragement, and support to take that time, make that breathing room, and set boundaries in your caregiving role, follow me @theselfcaregiver. I am here to help!
Please save this and share it with a friend!
#Caregiving #Caregiver #CaregiverSupport #HealthyBoundaries #SettingBoundaries #CaregiverTips #CaregiverLife #SelfCareForCaregivers #SandwichGeneration #recoverylife #SelfCare #SelfLove #Boundaries #traumahealing #theselfcaregiver #caregiverinrecovery
#generationaltraumabreaker
Holiday Meditation for Caregivers
The holidays might be different than you expected them to be this year.
You are worried about including your loved one in family traditions when they cannot participate like they used to.
Maybe you are in charge for the first time ever, taking over the role your parent used to hold for holiday gatherings.
Or you're wondering if you have the energy to give your kids the joy of the holiday when you're grieving the loss of your loved one.
If you are feeling "ugh" about the upcoming holidays but want to feel more at ease and present, this Holiday Caregiver Meditation is for you.
Gentle Holiday Blessings to you. 🫶🏼
A Different Take on Caregiver Self-Care
You don't need to put your oxygen mask on first. You need to put it on, PERIOD.
Hear me out! Of course, you need to care for yourself to take care of others, but not just so you can take care of others.
If we start to think of self-care as something we do just because other people need us, then we are missing something very important.
We are missing the fact that we are worthy of caring for ourselves. We are human. We have needs on our own, regardless of what we are called to do.
I sometimes worry, too, about caregivers just scraping by on scraps of self-care to keep up with the needs of their loved ones...What will happen to them when their loved one is gone? Will they still feel worthy of care?
I hope so.
Caregiver friends, put on your oxygen mask, period. You are worthy of the breathing room.
Please share this with a caregiver who needs to hear it and save it when you need the reminder!🫶🏼
If you feel like a 💩caregiver, you’re probably making this mistake:
Letting other people’s ideas about caregiving define your “success.”👀
Spoiler ‼️—> that will NEVER work!
Why? Because other people’s ideas about what it means to be a good caregiver don’t often consider:
1. Your unique circumstances. 🥴
2. Your current caregiving capacity. 😬
3. Your actual caregiving goals.🏅
To start feeling like you are a caregiving champ🏆, DO THIS INSTEAD:
Write your own definition of caregiving & set goals that support that definition! 🫶🏆
Need help with your caregiving definition? Comment RESET to get your FREE Caregiver Reset Call with me.
I can’t wait to help you! 🫶🙌🏼.
#Caregiving #Caregiver #CaregiverSupport #HealthyBoundaries #SettingBoundaries #CaregiverTips #CaregiverLife #SelfCareForCaregivers #SandwichGeneration #recoverylife #SelfCare #SelfLove #Boundaries #traumahealing #theselfcaregiver #caregiverinrecovery
#generationaltraumabreaker
Card Games for Estate Planning: Important Questions and Fun Dinners
Starting the conversation about estate planning is the hardest part.
Hear how Buried In Work founder Adam Zuckerman turned family storytelling into a card game to help families start their estate-planning conversations.
To watch the full interview, click here>>https://youtu.be/D3f2Qe-2rLM
How to Take Care of Yourself When You Care for Everyone Else
"My life used to look like this.👇
👉 Running around to put out EVERYONE'S fires.
👉 Trying EVERY new workout fad as soon as one “guru” said that it would help me feel better.
👉 Jumping from one task to the next, because there was so much to do and I couldn't focus on just one thing.
That daily chaos gave me so much anxiety and stress, that I could barely make it through the day.
I’ll be honest, it made me exhausted and completely depressed. The roller coaster, the never-ending caregiving chores and errands, the disappointment of not doing enough to help my mom feel better.
Ugh, the overthinking as I tried to figure out “what was wrong with me”. 😥
Then one day, I had enough. No one was coming to save me. I had to figure it out myself.
So I did. ✅
Here's what worked for me:
✅ 1. Defining my own role as caregiver for my mom.
✅ 2. Setting boundaries that protected my health.
✅ 3. Engaging in my life and relationships beyond caregiving.
😊 Want to see how this could work in YOUR life?
🔥 Comment “RESET” to get a complimentary 20-minute caregiver reset call with me and I'll walk you through the process.
If you cannot STAND people telling you to "take time for yourself!"
BUT also know you need to take better care of yourself...
AND feel overwhelmed and confused about how you are supposed to do that.
This is for you.👇🏻
Comment "cheatsheet," and I will send you my NO B.S. guide that walks you through 15 ways you can take care of yourself TODAY without having to:
-add something else to your to-do list
-take time away from your caregiving duties
-convince someone else to give you a break
-or do hours of meditation 😉
Comment "CHEATSHEET"
If you’re tired of getting self-care advice from people who just don't get it, 🙄
but you also know you need to do something, 🤷🏻♀️
and you're determined not to let another year go by feeling overwhelmed and out of control, 😩
then you’ll want to know the 15 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Today Without Adding More to Your Plate! 🧆
DM me "CHEATSHEET," and I will send you the link to grab this resource!
(And, FYI, this isn't just a list of "things to do"—no bubble baths or face masks are needed.)🛁🚫
DM, "CHEATSHEET" for 15 things I actually do that really work, and aren't super annoying 😉
Helping women caring for aging parents take back their time without the guilt, even if it’s all on you.
