The Self-Caregiver, Jeanette Yates

01/07/2025

Hey Caregiver friend...are you exhausted by 2025 already?

Yeah, I know. What good is a New Year if the "Old You" (and all the responsibilities, caregiving chaos, and all. the. things.) is still your reality?!

If you:

😤 Wonder how the h*ll you're supposed to "kickstart your fitness (or health or whatever) journey" when you don't have any energy or time left at the end of the day...

😬 Want some time for yourself (for once!) without feeling guilty about it...

🫣 Feel trapped between caregiving and the rest of your life?!?!

If any of this sounds familiar, join me for my new WORKSHOP:

📍3 Ways to Stop Feeling Like A Trapped Caregiver📍

Save Your Seat, comment 'WORKSHOP'

In this workshop, you'll discover:

The 3 biggest mistakes that keep your to-do list undone.

Why defining your caregiver role is essential for creating breathing room in your life.

The #1 Self-Care practice all caregivers must do.

The 3 Keys to the Balance & Boundaries System and how to use each of them to take care of yourself without neglecting your parents.

Join me for our next workshop!

Save Your Seat: comment 'WORKSHOP'

Sign up and share with a caregiver friend!🫶🏼

12/24/2024

Don't go into 2025 still frustrated with your never-ending to-do list. Start taking back your time, one day at a time.

Here are 3 (Really) achievable resolutions for caregivers:

🗓️ Plan your day: Make a schedule and keep it. Do not get pulled into non-emergency situations, even if everyone is acting like it’s an emergency.

If it’s not on the to-do list for today and it’s not an emergency, say “NO” (or “later”).

⚖️ Balance your to-do list: Every day should include some time for you; you are more likely to take that time if it’s on your calendar. It may be true that you don’t have the time you want or need, but it doesn’t mean you can’t take ANY time for yourself. Put “me-time,” even if it is just 15 minutes, on your to-do list every day, and then TAKE THAT TIME!

❌ DELETE ONE THING: Look at that caregiving to-do list and pick one thing to DELETE. There is one thing on every list that doesn’t HAVE to be done, or done as often, or done by you. Get rid of that thing in 2025!

Now if looking at that list is overwhelming and you are rolling your eyes just thinking about it, I get it. I have been there. But I've also learned how to do each one of those things to help me feel more in control of my caregiving role, and my life. I can help you do it too!

Sign up for my UNBREAKABLE BOUNDARY BLUEPRINT mini-course and learn how to...Set a boundary that works ‼️in one week‼️ without arguing with your family, even if no one ever helps!

Grab this mini-training and get that first boundary set before January 1!

Click here to get the UNBREAKABLE BOUNDARY BLUEPRINT mini-course-->>https://www.theselfcaregiver.com/boundary

12/20/2024

🌟 **Hey Caregivers! Feeling overwhelmed with caregiving?

You're not alone. I've been there, and it doesn't have to be that way. My story, from being trapped in caregiver guilt to helping caregivers break free from their caregiving struggles, is featured in Women's Journal Magazine, and it's all about making caregiving manageable and fulfilling.

👉 Check out the full article and see how we can tackle this together in a way that makes sense for you: [Women's Journal Magazine]
https://womensjournal.com/jeanette-yates-the-caregivers-best-friend/

💪 We’ve got this together. 🫶🏼

12/19/2024

Ripping your hair out trying to get someone to help you so you can get a caregiving break? 😤

Finally take time for yourself , only to get a million texts and phone calls about fires you need to put out?

Frustrated and resentful because it seems like everyone else is just living their life while you have to be the “responsible one”? 😬

I get it.
And I’ve got you.

Boundary-setting is the most effective way to get back your life outside of caregiving.

And when you follow the Unbreakable Boundary Blueprint, you’ll have your first boundary set (and actually working) in ONE WEEK!

Reply “BOUNDARY” to get the details of this new mini-course that opens on Dec 20, 2024. (You could have your first boundary set before the ball drops at midnight on NYE!😉 🎉)

12/18/2024

Welcome, everyone! I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself since so many people have connected with us recently!

My name is Jeanette, and I’ve been caring for my mom since I was 8 years old. I know what it’s like to want to do a good job but always feel like it’s never enough.

A few years ago, I was in an ongoing cycle of burnout but could not figure out how to get the time I needed to tend to myself, my marriage, and my children.

After repeatedly trying "self-care" things that never worked.

And that's when I figured it out...

Any self-care activity might work, but nothing will work if you don't think you deserve it.

I started taking back my time and my life, moment by moment and found a way to care for my mom without losing myself.

And at The Self-Caregiver, I help other caregivers do the same.

If you are ready to take back your time, without feeling guilty, even if caregiving is all on you, I'd love to chat with you.

Comment RESET and schedule a FREE 1:1 session with me. We will look at your caregiving situation and current needs to develop an action plan for more breathing room!

Comment RESET to get started!

12/13/2024

What I have learned in this last year without him, my biggest champion, is that grief changes but never goes away. While I’ve learned to live in this slightly off-kilter world as if it has been righted, it has not, and my grief knows it.I remember, celebrate, laugh, and cry about all the things we did and said, those memories that were wonderful, and also those that nearly broke us.I’ve learned to go about my business, the mundane and ordinary. I still care for mom and the kids, and tend to my life.But grief is a companion, not sad and weary, but a gentle presence remains. I miss you, Bruce. But you taught me to keep going anyway. Learn to rest, not to quit, so I keep going.

12/13/2024

REMINDER: You can be a good caregiver for your parents without giving up your life.
If you go to bed 3 or more times a week feeling behind, exhausted, and dreading waking up the next day because you know it's more of the same chaos...

It's time for your RESET!

In your RESET call with me, you'll:

understand your caregiver strengths ✅
clarify your biggest barriers to balancing your caregiving role ✅
determine the next steps toward creating space for yourself in your busy life ✅

Comment 'RESET' to schedule your call today so that you can stop the chaos and start feeling like yourself again!

12/12/2024

Ok, hear me out. 😬

I know you need more time, but that takes time...

You need to decide what you can keep doing and what you can't.
You need to set boundaries.
You need to ask for help and support.

You can learn how to do all of those things. (I can help, but more on that later.😉)

But you don't have to wait to take care of yourself. In fact, you already are taking care of yourself! You just have to know where to look.

Here's what works for me and the caregivers I've worked with:

🛑 Stop telling yourself you don't have time.
🏁 Start telling yourself, "I am taking care of myself!"
👀 Look for ways you are already doing it. (Even the most minor things count!)

It's not about perfection; it's about becoming aware of the simple ways you tend to your needs every day.

⏰ Did you wake up? Celebrate that you slept (even if it wasn't "enough" sleep.)
🪥 Brush your teeth? WOOT! You're doing it! Look at you caring for yourself!
🛀🏻 Shower, eat, drink water? Whatever you do, celebrate it!

The more you rewire your brain to acknowledge what you are doing, the more you will feel empowered to do more.

In short, celebrate the time you have, then work to make more!

And if you want more ways to take care of yourself without adding more to your plate, comment "CHEATSHEET" to get my 15 Ways to Take Care of Yourself Without Adding More to Your Plate guide!

You'll learn how to start incorporating caring for yourself without feeling like it's just another thing on your to-do list.

Comment "CHEATSHEET" to get your guide!

12/10/2024

One of the most important things I have done on my journey to heal from the endless cycle of caregiver burnout is to let go of feeling guilty and inadequate as my mom's caregiver.

Caregiving is hard enough without carrying the weight of insecurity...
am I doing enough?
am I doing it right?
am I sufficiently cheerful about all of it?

It is guilt that keeps you stuck. The feeling of never meeting expectations, resentment, and frustration with yourself and others that keeps you on high alert, never allowing you to relax and receive rest.

Yes, you need more time to care for yourself, more people to step up and help, and some breathing room.
..but first, you need to believe you deserve all of that.

Try saying:

I am capable of setting healthy boundaries without being neglectful.

My parent's needs are important, and so are mine.

I am not responsible for my parent's emotions.

I am doing enough. I am enough.

And if you need reminders, encouragement, and support to take that time, make that breathing room, and set boundaries in your caregiving role, follow me . I am here to help!

Please save this and share it with a friend!

12/09/2024

I was honored to be recently featured in Women’s Journal sharing about my experience caregiving in starting The Self-Caregiver to help other caregivers who are struggling to find breathing room.

Please take an opportunity to read it and share with your caregiver friends!

Jeanette Yates, founder of The Self-Caregiver LLC, has dedicated her life to understanding the unique challenges of caregiving for aging parents. With a mission to empower caregivers to reclaim their time, energy, and well-being, Yates offers a compassionate and pragmatic approach to navigating the....

12/09/2024

It's not that you're not trying to "fill your cup," as they like to say 🙄, it's that no one is paying attention to the fact that you're cup isn't working!

Why though? Why does none of the self-care work? Why don't you ever feel like you've filled it enough? Why do you constantly feel empty, poured out, burned, no scalded, out?

Here's the thing. You can fill that cup all you want, but if you don't know your capacity and you don't have boundaries to protect it, well, you'll always be left wanting...more self-care, more "me time," more space, more peace.

Any self-care can work, but none will work if it's not what you need or you don't feel like you deserve it.

Maybe your cup is broken because you keep giving parts away to others, leaving you without boundaries and the ability to maintain your capacity to do what you are meant to do as a caregiver.

If you struggle with understanding your caregiving role, maintaining boundaries to protect your capacity in that role, and feeling trapped in the cycle of trying to fill your cup but always coming up empty, I can help.

Join me for my 3 Ways to Stop Feeling Like A Trapped Caregiver Workshop to learn how to set boundaries, protect your capacity, and fulfill your caregiving role without neglecting your life.

Comment WORKSHOP to sign up!

12/06/2024

What is "caregiving" anyway?

If you feel like you're never doing enough for your parents, like you're always running on empty, and you're never getting it right... it's time to examine your caregiving definition.

Why are you doing what you are doing as a caregiver? Who told you to do XYZ to be a good caregiver?

Maybe your parents have certain expectations you're trying to live up to.

Or perhaps your family or community has ideas about what makes a "good" caregiver or a "bad" one.

But if you're never able to reach these expectations, maybe they are unrealistic, they are not for you.

If your caregiving role is causing you to suffer, then it's not working. Not only will you struggle, but your ability to care for your parents will suffer, too.

It's time to create your own definition of caregiving.

Here are 7 Steps to defining caregiving that fits your needs and the needs of your parents:

Assess your current needs. 🫶🏼
Assess your loved one’s needs. 😍
Assess your capacity to meet your needs. ☕️
Assess your capacity to meet your loved one’s needs. 💪🏼
Choose the areas of care you’re able to safely give. 🛟
Communicate your role & capacity. 💬
Create boundaries to protect your capacity. 🚧

Defining your caregiving role is just one way to stop feeling trapped as a caregiver. To learn more, join our new workshop, 3 Ways to Stop Feeling Like a Trapped Caregiver.

Comment "workshop" to sign up!

11/30/2024

Do you:

😩 Go to bed most nights exhausted and still feeling like you didn't do enough?

🙄 Wonder how the h*ll you're supposed to "take care of yourself" when you don't have any energy or time left after doing all the things?

😬 Want some time for yourself (for once!) but feel guilty for feeling that way?

🫣 Do you ever feel trapped between caregiving and the rest of your life?

If any of this sounds familiar, join me for my new WORKSHOP:

📍3 Ways to Stop Feeling Like A Trapped Caregiver📍

Save Your Seat: https://www.theselfcaregiver.com/workshop

In this workshop, you'll discover:

The 3 biggest mistakes that keep your to-do list undone.

Why defining your caregiver role is essential for creating breathing room in your life.

The #1 Sel-Care practice all caregivers must do.

The 3 Keys to the Balance & Boundaries System and how to use each of them to take care of yourself without neglecting your parents.

Join me for our next workshop!

Save Your Seat: https://www.theselfcaregiver.com/workshop

Sign up and share with a caregiver friend!🫶🏼

11/27/2024

Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed, inadequate, and resentful in your caregiving journey (and guilty about feeling that way?)

Are you looking for a pathway to learning how to take back your time without feeling guilty and still be the caregiver you want to be?

With The Guilt-free Caregiver Formula you'll:

-Get the support you need from a caregiver who understands.🫶🏼

-Find a community of caregivers who know what it’s like to struggle with care and family dynamics.🤜 🤛

-Have a step-by-step roadmap with practical strategies to help you navigate the difficulties of balancing your life and caregiving role. 🗺️

⌛️ Take back your time without the guilt, even if it’s all on you.

The Guilt-free Caregiver allows you the flexibility to get the help you need without taking precious time out of your busy schedule. No weekly hour-long coaching calls or irrelevant and useless practices you don't have time for anyway.

💬 Comment GUILT-FREE to get more details and join today.

11/25/2024

The holidays might be different than you expected them to be this year.

You are worried about including your loved one in family traditions when they cannot participate like they used to.

Maybe you are in charge for the first time ever, taking over the role your parent used to hold for holiday gatherings.

Or you're wondering if you have the energy to give your kids the joy of the holiday when you're grieving the loss of your loved one.

If you are feeling "ugh" about the upcoming holidays but want to feel more at ease and present, this Holiday Caregiver Meditation is for you.

Gentle Holiday Blessings to you. 🫶🏼

11/14/2024

You don't need to put your oxygen mask on first. You need to put it on, PERIOD.

Hear me out! Of course, you need to care for yourself to take care of others, but not just so you can take care of others.

If we start to think of self-care as something we do just because other people need us, then we are missing something very important.

We are missing the fact that we are worthy of caring for ourselves. We are human. We have needs on our own, regardless of what we are called to do.

I sometimes worry, too, about caregivers just scraping by on scraps of self-care to keep up with the needs of their loved ones...What will happen to them when their loved one is gone? Will they still feel worthy of care?

I hope so.

Caregiver friends, put on your oxygen mask, period. You are worthy of the breathing room.

Please share this with a caregiver who needs to hear it and save it when you need the reminder!🫶🏼

11/12/2024

A few weeks ago, I was jolted awake in the middle of the night as my husband was having a medical emergency.

The 911 call, the fear that I was watching my husband die, the emergency room, and tests that ended up revealing nothing (he's totally fine 🫶🏼), all of these things were a whirlwind, and only after everything was "ok" again, did I start to feel the weight of all we had experienced.

In the immediate aftermath of the crisis, I realized I still had work meetings to attend to, mom's care to attend to, and other things on my to-do list.

So what did I do? I took a break from everything.

How did I know to pause my plans and take time to recover from the stress? Ironically, the very strategies I coach other caregivers through helped me make that decision!

The things I teach other caregivers are not taken from theory. These are the steps I took that saved my life and my relationship with my mom, and I believe they can help you too.

For years, I pushed through the exhaustion and overwhelm of my mom's caregiving emergencies and chaos because I was so afraid that doing anything else made me a selfish daughter, a weak and inadequate caregiver. I also hated the guilt that I would feel for not "doing whatever it took" for my mom…even as what it was taking was my own health and well-being.

But then I decided that something had to give, and it couldn't keep being me.

The steps I took to stop being guilt-trapped as a caregiver are the very steps that make up The Guilt-free Caregiver Formula.

If you are trapped by your role as a caregiver, your life swallowed up by caregiving duties, and you struggle with the guilt of not knowing how to break free and still give care to your parents, you need The Guilt-Free Caregiver Formula.

It gives you everything you need to:
📍Recognize what is keeping you stuck.
📍 Create a caregiver role that honors your parents and your own needs.
📍Break free from dysfunctional family patterns that keep you from speaking up for what you need.
📍 Set and communicate healthy boundaries with confidence, not guilt or stress.

Comment GUILT-FREE to go from guilt-trapped to relaxed and relieved!

11/10/2024

I know it's hard to make time for yourself as a caregiver, especially as we enter the season of giving, but that is EXACTLY what you need to do NOW.

Why spend the entire holiday season even more maxed out, frantically trying to be everything for everyone else, and not get to enjoy any of it?

There IS time, but you have to TAKE it...no one will give it to you.

Join The Guilt-free Caregiver Program today and get the tools to nurture your well-being while caring for others.

What you'll get:
📍Bite-sized on-demand trainings that walk you through the steps you need to take to break free from the guilt, frustration, and overwhelm of caregiving.
📍Customized mindfulness and breathwork strategies to keep you calm with the s*&t hits the fan!
📍Compassionate communication skills for setting boundaries without guilt.
📍Methods to avoid boundary pitfalls, so that your boundaries stick and you can get back your time…and do what you want with it.

Reply “I'm READY” to learn more and join The Guilt-Free Caregiver in time to ENJOY your holiday season.
Your roadmap to get back to the life you’ve been too stressed or exhausted to enjoy starts now!