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Paradoxical Phoenix, Greenville, SC (2025)

12/18/2025

-going under-

I’m standing here,
With both hands tied;
And little by little,
I’m dying inside.

I’m watching it all,
Go right to hell;
While most people watch,
And say, just as well.

You can’t speak up,
Or they’ll throw you out;
Be quiet you dissenter,
Don’t you dare doubt!

Don’t you question,
What you’ve been told;
Enjoy the view,
See it all unfold.

All I want,
Is fair compensation;
Do you know how long it’s been.
Since I could afford bacon?

You say hold on,
I say my hands are bleeding;
You say a little longer,
But hope is fleeting.

I’m sliding right off,
The end of my rope;
Who knows how much longer,
I’ll be able to cope.

I’m screaming out,
As I drown;
Funny though,
No one hears a sound.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Uncredited image found on Pinterest

12/16/2025

-exit, stage right-

The tired ballerina,
Sat off stage;
The show was over,
She was feeling her age.

She knew she’d performed,
Her last pirouette;
But in her heart,
The dance wasn’t over yet.

Though her body was tired,
Her heart still ached;
For the call of the ballet,
Was one she couldn’t forsake.

Her feet were swollen,
As she unlaced her shoes;
They weren’t designed,
For this kind of abuse.

It had been many years,
Since she first stared to dance;
Despite all that time,
She still jumped at each chance.

She knew this wasn’t,
Her final ovation;
For tomorrow was a new day,
To perform another creation.

She unbounded her hair,
As she exited stage right;
And quietly she whispered,
Goodbye, just for tonight.

Leslie Bertrand
©️Paradoxical Phoenix

12/15/2025

"The Divine Spark of a Joint"

Do you ever feel like,
God just got lit;
Then passed the joint,
And said watch this?

DMT and bliss,
Tools of God's show;
Entertaining an eternity,
To nurture better glows.

Ever wonder, thinking slow,
What’s the point of this journey?
Say "f%

12/15/2025

-Zebra-

All my life I’ve been a zebra,
Nothing ever goes as it should;
When you hear hoof beats you think, horses,
Logic says that you would.

I’m a big fan of logic,
It helps me to figure things out;
But sometimes I find logic fails me,
And then I begin to doubt.

My life has always been different,
The only drumbeat I dance to is mine;
I can tell you it isn’t always easy,
But I’m having one hell of a time.

I don’t really know where I’m going,
But I sure as hell know where I’ve been;
I’ve walked this path many times before,
Now I’m doing it all, again.

I won’t change my coat or my colors,
I’m tired of trying to fit in;
I’ve discovered my voice and my passion,
And now, let the fun begin!

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

12/14/2025

-sitting with it-

I sat and cried,
As I set them free;
As I said goodbye,
To the broken pieces of me.

I said goodbye,
To the pain and shame;
Good bye to the guilt,
The anger and blame.

I sat and cried,
And then I breathed;
I sat alone,
As I sat and grieved.

I sat and waited,
For another day;
Then I seized every opportunity,
That came my way.

When it was over,
I felt so light and free;
What a painful way,
To rediscover me.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic artist: Henn Kim

12/13/2025

People can say whatever they want to, and many can sell you a really great story, especially on social media.

Be discerning.

Trust your instincts.

Action speak louder than words.

Watch for patterns.

Pay attention.

Apologizing and repeating a behavior isn’t being sorry.

If something doesn’t feel right it isn’t.

Don’t accept the kind of treatment that you would not offer to others.

Be your own advocate.

Keep your boundaries intact.

12/13/2025

-the masculine divine-

He silently watches,
He patiently awaits;
When he decides to act,
He doesn’t hesitate.

He takes his time,
To puzzle things through;
He understands the patterns,
Better than you.

He’s always alert,
He’s forever aware;
He’s brave and he’s bold,
He doesn’t forget to share.

He fights for what’s right,
He won’t walk away;
He always comes home,
At the end of each day.

He loves to hold you,
All through the the night;
For you help him remember,
Why he fights the good fight.

He’s a friend and a lover,
A brother and son;
In your heart,
You know he is the one.

He’s protective and fierce,
He’s gentle and loving;
He really is amazing,
This man he is becoming.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Graphic art: Solancha Magazine

12/12/2025

⚠️ trigger warning⚠️

-cutting deep-

She sat in silence
All alone
She sat and bled
As she cut to the bone

She was desperately trying
Just to atone
For all of the failures
She called her own

She found a release
She found solace in the pain
As she watched her blood
Seep slowly down the drain

When she drew that razor
Slowly across her skin
That was her moment of control
And she drank the moment in

Slowly she watched
The blood cease to flow
For a moment she felt better
But soon that feeling would go

She’d cover the wound
For she felt so ashamed
She had no idea
Others might feel the same

So day by day
She counts the hours
Until she’s once again alone
Under a long hot shower

Her hot tears mix
With the water and blood
And the emotions overwhelm
In one giant flood

She towels dry
Then heads to her bed
Praying for piece of mind tomorrow
So she doesn’t have to cut to cope, instead.

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Original art: Shawn Coss

12/11/2025

-Bending Heaven to Raise Hell-

If I cannot bend Heaven,
I will raise Hell;
Because it’s a destination,
I know very well.

But Hell has already risen,
Back when the creek started to rise;
When it overran its banks,
As the rain poured from the skies.

We watched the earth give way,
With mighty crashes like thunder;
And all we could do is stare in horror,
Watching so many lives get torn asunder.

High up in the mountains,
The houses slid down the hill;
Back down in the valley,
They floated past the mill.

Nature unleashed its fury,
In a once in a lifetime storm;
And in the aftermath,
What survives is broken and torn.

Hell isn’t always on fire,
And it isn’t always hot;
Hell can be cold and watery,
And losing everything you got.

Heaven isn’t always angels,
Clouds and harps and songs;
Sometimes it’s a quiet place,
Where we all just get along.

I will bend the rules,
Almost until they break;
But I cannot bend Heaven,
That’s not my call to make.

Leslie Bertrand
©️Paradoxical Phoenix

11 December 2025

12/11/2025

-magick, on line-

Have you felt the touch of angels wings?
Have you heard your demons scream?
Do you recall the finer things?
Do you still have hopes and dreams?

Have you walked in a warm summer rain?
Have you smiled despite the pain?
Have you gazed at clouds high in the sky?
Do you ever stop and wonder, why?

Do you ponder duality?
The way “they” say things must be?
Do you believe that it’s all love?
That we’re all interconnected from above?

Have you felt the unexplained?
Just met someone, yet you know their name?
Know every answer on every test?
Know everything works out for the best?

Do you believe that now is the time,
When magick is coming back on line?

Leslie Bertrand
©Paradoxical Phoenix

Photographer: Kanyan “Water Wings”

12/10/2025

A Glance

I love to dance with you,
There in the dark;
Where we embrace and share,
that life giving spark.

What a magical journey,
upon which we’ve embarked;
It only gets better,
this is just the start.

Somehow you found your way,
Right into my heart;
Cupid’s arrow thrown,
an eerily accurate dart.

It pains me so,
when we have to part;
I wish our love came,
with a navigational chart.

I’m glad we decided,
to take the chance;
I think we’d both given up,
Upon new romance.

But I so enjoy,
this intimate dance;
That all began,
with one heated glance.

Leslie Bertrand
©️Paradoxical Phoenix

Original art by Brush Paint India

12/10/2025

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting.

I have rebuilt my life so many times at this point, I have sincerely lost count.

A little over three years ago, I lost everything in Hurricane Ian. I had found a little slice of heaven on the Caloosahatchee River in North Fort Myers.

Living steps from the water. Fishing and kayaking from our doorstep. Listening to my neighbor playing her singing bowls on the dock.

Boom.

Gone overnight.

Okay.
Been there, done that, getting another t-shirt.

Told myself it was okay.

Moment by moment, day by day, no matter what happened, I still had what I needed to make it.

Easy?

No.

Pretty?

Hardly.

Worth the effort and experience?

Absolutely.

Got my first book published anyway.

Made the move to South Carolina.

Got established in a new job.

Traded in for a new car.

Met THE guy.

Suddenly, my life and heart are so full they are overflowing.

It’s not without loss.

I miss my friend and roommate.

His accident changed his life irrevocably. He never was able to get back to living it.

The last three years for him were a daily struggle.

I am left with an aching, empty sadness that never seems to leave right now, but waxes and wanes moment to moment.

Surfing the ever shifting sea of grief.

And that’s okay.

One of the things I’ve learned through all of this, is simply to be present and feel it all.

It sucks, but I’ve found it better than flashbacks and night sweats.

I had no idea how strong I actually was.

This Christmas, I’m taking a few moments to celebrate everything I’ve managed to accomplish despite all the losses.

Take some time to celebrate you.

You’re worth it.

Paradoxical Phoenix

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