No Cherry On Top

12/03/2025

Emotional neglect from a spouse/parter often manifests as a consistent lack of emotional support, attention, and validation within the relationship. It can be subtle and hard to pinpoint but has a significant impact on emotional well-being and intimacy.

Common Signs of Emotional Neglect from a Spouse

•Lack of Communication: Minimal or superficial conversations, avoiding discussions about feelings, needs, or important topics.
•Ignoring Emotional Needs: Not recognizing or responding to your emotional distress, sadness, or joy; acting indifferent to your feelings.
•Absence of Affection: Limited or no expressions of love, warmth, or physical affection such as hugs, kisses, or comforting gestures.
•Avoidance of Intimacy: Withdrawing from emotional closeness or intimacy, creating distance rather than connection.
•Dismissiveness: Minimizing or invalidating your emotions, making you feel like your feelings are unimportant or exaggerated.
•Lack of Support: Not offering encouragement, empathy, or understanding during challenging times or personal struggles.
•Preoccupation with Other Interests: Prioritizing work, hobbies, friends, or technology over spending quality time together or engaging emotionally.
•Emotional Unavailability: Being physically present but emotionally distant, making you feel alone even when together.

Impact on the Relationship
Emotional neglect can lead to feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem, frustration, and resentment. It often erodes trust and intimacy, making it difficult to maintain a healthy, fulfilling partnership.
Recognizing these signs is the first step toward addressing emotional neglect, whether through open communication, couples therapy, or individual counseling to rebuild emotional connection and support.

11/26/2025

Christmas Past

My message from experience with my 5 children, During the holiday season, when the pressure to capture the perfect family photo feels overwhelming, take a deep breath and remember this: let the kids be kids. The candid, imperfect moments—the laughter, the chaos, the genuine smiles—are the ones that will become cherished memories in years to come. These snapshots, even if not picture-perfect, hold the true spirit of the season and the warmth of family love. Embrace the joy of the moment rather than the pursuit of perfection.

I always tried so hard for the perfection. When I should have just focused on the meaningful experience rather than flawless photos, reminding them that authenticity is what truly lasts.

11/08/2025

Today’s Motivation:

Relax. Give yourself grace.

You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

Do not let unhelpful thoughts take control of your experience.

Take a few deep, intentional breaths to quiet the noise in your mind.

In this moment, you are allowed to be at peace.

There’s nothing to prove, nothing to overcome.

Accept this present moment, rather than attaching a story to it.

Allow yourself to rest in a space of pure awareness.

This space is always naturally available to you.

You can return to it anytime you choose.

11/07/2025

Happy Friday!
Here is your daily motivation:

The longer you carry the weight of unmet dreams, the harder it becomes to tap into the new possibilities life is constantly offering you.

Honor what those old dreams once meant to you, acknowledge their place in your journey, and then let them go.

Make space for something even more aligned to take their place.

No matter how difficult letting go may seem at first, trust that eventually a positive outcome will come out of it.

Make the most of what you have now, and allow yourself to enjoy the natural flow of events.

The unexpected turns will still lead you exactly where you need to be.

Life has a funny way of surprising you in the best possible ways.

11/05/2025

Today’s Motivation:

Possibilities that excite you may also bring up feelings of fear.

Life will keep presenting you with opportunities to overcome your fears and step beyond your comfort zone.

There’s no getting around it.

You must make peace with uncertainty.

You must face the discomfort that inevitably comes with change.

One small step toward the unknown could change your life.

As you move forward on your journey, every positive outcome born from uncertainty will strengthen your trust in the process of life.

Say yes to that new opportunity.

Take a chance.

Freedom and abundance are waiting for you.

09/18/2025

Comedy plays a crucial role in oppressive environments by serving as a tool for resilience, resistance, and social commentary. It allows individuals and communities to cope with hardship, challenge authority, and maintain a sense of humanity despite difficult circumstances.

How Comedy Helps in Oppressive Environments

1. Psychological Relief and Coping Mechanism
Comedy provides a mental escape from stress and fear. Humor can reduce anxiety, foster hope, and improve emotional well-being, helping people endure oppression by momentarily lightening the psychological burden.
2. Subversive Resistance and Critique
Comedy often acts as a subtle form of protest. Satire and irony expose the absurdities and injustices of oppressive regimes without direct confrontation, which can be dangerous. This indirect critique can raise awareness and inspire dissent while evading censorship or punishment.
3. Community Building and Solidarity
Shared humor strengthens bonds among oppressed groups. Laughing together creates a sense of unity and collective identity, reinforcing social cohesion and mutual support in the face of adversity.
4. Empowerment and Voice
Comedy can give a voice to the marginalized by highlighting their experiences and perspectives. It empowers individuals to reclaim narrative control, challenge stereotypes, and assert dignity.
5. Cultural Preservation and Expression
In oppressive contexts where cultural expression is often suppressed, comedy preserves traditions, language, and values through storytelling and performance, keeping cultural identity alive.

Examples of Comedy in Oppressive Contexts

~Political Satire in Authoritarian States: Comedians use coded language and allegory to criticize dictatorships while avoiding direct repression.
~Jewish Humor in Holocaust and Diaspora: Humor was a survival tool that helped maintain hope and identity amid persecution.
~African American Comedy during Segregation: Comedians like Richard Pryor used humor to confront racism and inequality.
~Comedy in Apartheid South Africa: Satirical shows and performances challenged racial segregation and injustice.

Comedy’s ability to blend laughter with critique makes it a powerful instrument for navigating and undermining oppression. It fosters resilience, promotes awareness, and preserves humanity where overt resistance may be too dangerous or impossible.
In summary, comedy in oppressive environments functions as a vital psychological refuge, a subtle form of resistance, and a means to build solidarity and cultural identity, making it an indispensable resource for those living under repression.

08/17/2025

This is spot on! I hope that my children will understand what I had to go through to make sure they could have a voice that I never was allowed to have!

In a narcissistic family, loyalty isn't about love—it’s about silence. It’s a silent pact everyone somehow understands but no one openly acknowledges. Everyone knows the truth deep inside—the lies, the manipulation, the emotional damage—but they stay quiet. This silence is born out of fear, confusion, and a desperate need to keep the fragile family image intact. No one wants to be the one who disrupts the carefully constructed façade, because speaking up risks rejection, punishment, or being labeled the “problem.”

They remain too cowardly to confront the reality head-on, afraid of the consequences that truth might bring. At the same time, they are too invested—emotionally, socially, and sometimes financially—in the family’s toxic dynamics to make a change. This twisted loyalty binds them in invisible chains of denial and self-preservation, where survival depends on protecting the narcissist’s image rather than seeking healing or freedom.

Love, in this environment, becomes a word stripped of its true meaning. Instead of nurturing connection and safety, it’s replaced by fear, control, and compliance. The family members learn to silence their own pain, to suppress their voices, and to minimize their experiences just to avoid rocking the boat. Over time, this creates wounds that run deep—wounds invisible to outsiders but profoundly scarring to those living it.

Breaking that silence is often the hardest battle. It requires immense courage to face not just the narcissist, but the entire ecosystem that enabled the dysfunction. But without breaking that silence, healing remains out of reach, and the cycle repeats, passing pain down through generations.

08/16/2025

Peace is within you.

It’s easy to get distracted by the noise and chaos, but beneath the loud thoughts lies a steady foundation of calm you can always return to.

One deep breath is all it takes to remember that your peace is always within reach.

Each time you find yourself reacting impulsively, pause and come up with a more purposeful response.

Remind yourself that what is meant to stay doesn’t need to be forced or controlled.

Keep choosing trust.

Allow yourself to relax into the natural rhythm of life.

08/09/2025

https://open.spotify.com/track/2lwwrWVKdf3LR9lbbhnr6R?si=Dsi6TmrjRcWkFisd0dHRgQ&context=spotify%3Asearch%3Afloat%2Bon

Listen to this song and then read today’s motivation!!

The best parts of your journey are still unfolding.

There is still so much goodness waiting to unfold.

Some of your greatest chapters are taking shape right now.

You have so much more to explore.

On the days when life feels heavy, when it seems like you've hit a wall, hold onto the truth that life is always working in your favor, even when you can’t yet see how.

You are attracting new experiences that will shift your perspective in beautiful ways.

There will be moments of pure joy that remind you none of it was in vain; not the heartbreak you’ve endured, nor the painful days you’ve overcome.

Trust life’s unfolding. n

Modest Mouse · Good News For People Who Love Bad News · Song · 2004

08/05/2025

06/24/2025

Please consider donating and/or sharing. This family is near and dear to my heart!

05/23/2025