The Goldstream Courant

The Goldstream Courant Your source for satire in the last frontier of the Last Frontier

Thinking this could be our first big t-shirt idea. Of course it seems catchier at -30 than +20. Hopefully it comes back ...
11/25/2024

Thinking this could be our first big t-shirt idea. Of course it seems catchier at -30 than +20. Hopefully it comes back on before the cold arrives.

We Are The 282

Finally. Some good news.
11/15/2024

Finally. Some good news.

03/30/2024

Reminder!
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Keeping in touch
03/27/2024

Keeping in touch

Most of the human world has resumed face-to-face meetings and gatherings in what many would consider to be a post-pandemic normal, but for local dogs, social distancing and remote visitation is often still the status quo...

Desperate times call for desperate measures
03/21/2024

Desperate times call for desperate measures

Local fitness studio Planet Fitness is feverishly looking for a moose who will stand in its parking lot, according to sources familiar with the matter. Other companies including Lowe's and Costco have benefitted from pos...

What a time to be alive
03/21/2024

What a time to be alive

The Fairbanks North Star Borough Board of Education - the school board, as it is known - voted to close the district's best-performing high school in a meeting Tuesday night. The board has been struggling with a knowledg...

Download a copy of the bracket and play along at home!
03/20/2024

Download a copy of the bracket and play along at home!

You won't find this type of coverage anywhere else
03/16/2024

You won't find this type of coverage anywhere else

Local readers may have learned recently that the Fairbanks North Star Borough School District spends more money than it has, and needs to spend even more money in the future. To cope with a looming multi-million dollar b...

Outreach
03/05/2024

Outreach

The United States Marine Corps conducted a defensive readiness mission Monday by deploying an array of high mobility artillery rocket systems (HIMARS) to the northwest Alaska town of Kotzebue for a simulated launch. Befo...

Courant: Google, generate an image of local Representative Frank TomaszewskiGoogle: Ok, I can create that
02/23/2024

Courant: Google, generate an image of local Representative Frank Tomaszewski

Google: Ok, I can create that

Didn't see that one coming
02/23/2024

Didn't see that one coming

A multi-vehicle collision was reported Thursday morning along the eastbound Johansen Expressway between Peger and Danby Roads. According to troopers, mass confusion erupted among drivers trailing a car whose tail lights ...

It's not often that we get an Anchorage scoop
02/19/2024

It's not often that we get an Anchorage scoop

In the first known case of its kind, a basset hound in Anchorage has been ticketed for allowing his human to p**p on the sidewalk. Critics say the incident raises numerous human and canine rights issues, and a protest ma...

Say 29 million dollars out loud for effect
02/18/2024

Say 29 million dollars out loud for effect

The Fairbanks North Star Borough School Board and District on Thursday leaked a statement via internal email detailing its plans for dealing with a $29 million shortfall going into next school year. Screenshots of the em...

Another year, another donation to Fish and Game
02/17/2024

Another year, another donation to Fish and Game

The Alaska Department of Fish and Game (ADFG) announced winners in the annual hunting permit lottery Friday, and as usual, ADFG employees won all the good tags. The F&G employees, along with wildlife troopers, nonresiden...

Go Go Gadget Scarecrow!
02/16/2024

Go Go Gadget Scarecrow!

Tesla Cybertrucks have been spotted on area roadways recently, presumably as the company performs cold weather testing to find out how quickly a battery will drain at -30F. There is a palpable sense of excitement in the ...

This should make it easy to remember who to blame when things go wrong
02/10/2024

This should make it easy to remember who to blame when things go wrong

Though rumored for many months, events Thursday were a clear confirmation that President Joe Biden will not run for reelection this year. Friendly news outlets turned on the President, with even NPR describing Biden as a...

Happy second birthday The Goldstream Courant!
02/02/2024

Happy second birthday The Goldstream Courant!

The Goldstream Courant is celebrating its second birthday!

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