Waiting With You

08/07/2021

A new testimonial!!!!!

http://www.waitingwithyou.com/testimonials.html

The term "sibling doula" is one that isn't well-understood, even within the birth professional world. Many families struggle to know what to do with their older children during thier birth,...

05/30/2021

My doula friend wrote this spot-on piece about how and why it's not ok that hospitals are still using Covid as an excuse to separate pregnant people from their planned support people. This is happening at scheduled prenatal ultrasound appointments, in labor triage and during both planned and unplanned cesareans.

Especially if the support team is vaccinated there's no reason these policies should still be in place.

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This weekend’s Adeline-stirs-the-pot post:

Birthing women and families have made HUGE sacrifices for the safety of healthcare workers during COVID, many of which were unnecessary, not evidence-based, and downright abusive even before the vaccine. But now we’ve had *the most effective vaccine in history* available to medical staff since January. If your staff is not 100% vaccinated at this point, it is almost without exception because those workers are choosing to not be vaccinated. If a worker cannot be vaccinated for a health reason, there is PPE available for those workers. We also are vaccinating pregnant women, all birth partners are now eligible to be vaccinated, and most are choosing to do so. Also, we are testing people for COVID before they are admitted to the hospital, often under threat of being “treated as a person under investigation” and separation from their newborn upon birth.

And yet, from ~liberal~ Seattle to COVID-denying Texas, women are still being isolated from their chosen birth companions, being made to mask in labor (even if they are vaccinated and everyone caring for them is vaccinated), told to be induced or choose c-section because it’s somehow safer, having their doulas kept from them, etc. I’m even hearing of vaccinated homebirth midwives making CHILDREN mask in their own homes during the births of their siblings.

If your hospital, birth center, or homebirth practice is still requiring masks during labor, limits on chosen birth attendants, and other COVID-era policies, try to remember how restrictive and insane those policies felt when they were first put in place. They were justified at the time because we were told we needed to keep healthcare workers safe. Now, healthcare workers are protected by a vaccine with over 98% efficacy, but policies remain largely unchanged.

These policies are now—and probably were always—about control, not safety. End them.

03/23/2021

Dropping weight quickly after giving birth is possible but it takes a huge amount of work and often impacts breastfeeding. I'm glad to see this change.

"This decision is essentially the Army telling women in the formation: We see you, we hear you, and we’re going to support you."

03/18/2021

Prepared to be stunned at the powerful visuals of what parenting a newborn actually looks like

01/29/2021

Northwest got a remodel! It was already a fantastic place to receive care and now its aesthetics match its policies 😊

10/22/2020

If you are looking for a hospital waterbirth, Virgina Mason in Seattle now offers them!!!!!

A new study was just released in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology that examined the outcomes of parents and newborns who were born in the water in a hospital setting.  This is a topic that Connecting the Dots has covered before, most recently with a synopsis here and here with the expert on wa...

10/17/2020

Post VBAC life 💓

10/13/2020

This is written a little more grumpy/sarcastic than I'd write it but I get why she feels this way. I especially like "if you wouldn't say it to your own mother, don't say it to a stranger" and calling out the very commonly heard "that baby sure is lucky" 🤢

Some men may mean this statement innocently but unfortunately the ones who don't have ruined it for everyone.

A gentle smile or "good job" is a pretty safe bet if saying nothing isn't possible.

Last year I had a strange conversation with a man who was afraid that if he witnessed someone breastfeeding in public they'd accuse him of sexual harassment because of the movement. I didn't think he was serious at first but it turns out he really was worried.

He argued that breastfeeding should always be done some place private because these days a guy is going to get “ ’d” just for noticing breastfeeding and he’ll be slapped with a “sexual harassment lawsuit just for looking.”


So I decided to give him my tips for avoiding such an unfortunate situation and created a guide.

Worried about someone accusing you of sexual assault because you notice them breastfeeding? Concerned that you don’t know how to handle seeing breastfeeding in the age of ? Then this guide is for you. These surefire strategies will keep you from being the next Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Matt Lauer, Louis C.K., or Rupert Murdoch with these easy to follow steps and practical tips.

1) Keep your mouth shut. You see a baby breastfeeding, just keep your mouth shut. You can smile, you can nod but if you are concerned it could turn into a moment any second, just keep your mouth shut because apparently your are confused on what constitutes sexual harassment from say, normal decent human interaction. Also should go without saying but since you need a guide: keep your dick in your pants and don’t slip her any drugs.

2) If, however, you want to be encouraging or supportive and you have a pretty good and clear idea of what is and isn’t sexual harassment (pretty good rule of thumb: if you wouldn’t be comfortable saying it to another man, your own mother, or your own child, don’t say it AT ALL), you can say something like “you’re such a good parent.” Do not say something like “that baby sure is lucky” because that totally sounds like you wish you could be sucking on that b**b instead of the baby and yes, THAT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT.

3) Notice the baby, look at the sweet baby, don’t become lecherous trying to see b**bs. Babies are adorable, we all get that. It’s ok to take a good long look at an adorable baby and nobody’s going to blame you for that. But if you start trying to see the b**bies, craning your neck and staring hoping for a glimpse of titty… that the baby’s head is covering anyway… then you’re gross, cleary have issues with boundaries, and deserve whatever comes your way. exists because of schmucks like you in the first place.

4) Remember this: IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. It really isn’t. The breastfeeding scene unfolding before you has nothing to do with you, it isn’t for your consumption, and it isn’t about you in any way shape or form. Know who it is about? The baby. So don’t act like one, grow up, and mind your own darn business.

5) Keep your hands to yourself. Do not touch the breastfeeding pair. Personal space bubble applies to them just like anyone else. Which if this was respected more in the first place, wouldn’t even be a thing.

6) If you find you are unable to control yourself then just use your neck, turn your head, look away, walk away, and PLEASE, call a therapist.

Follow these 6 simple steps and you should be totally free of any risk of the movement coming after you based on how you handle seeing breastfeeding today.

Back The Leaky B**b and be a part of helping families feed their babies, normalize breastfeeding, and find information, support, and community when you join our Patreon: https://bit.ly/300FPrL

09/03/2020

I hear this language all the time and it's incredibly harmful, especially for people pleasers and/or abuse survivors.

A much better substitution is "Are you able to?" Because it leaves room for "No!"

Even deleting the "for me" off the end of these just leaves us with a set of commands. 😐

08/25/2020

Welcome baby Mateo 😍

08/25/2020

Working so hard to meet a baby today 💓💓💓

08/12/2020

🤣🤣🤣🤣 the only thing you need to "keep track of" when learning to feed a baby is output. Some babies nurse a little very often ... Some babies nurse for a very long time and then have big breaks and everything in between. But you can rest assured that if your baby is peeing and pooping adequately, they are being nourished.

Has someone ever told you that you need to breastfeed your baby on a schedule?

I hate to tell you this, but babies can’t tell them time!

Respond to your baby, not the clock

👏🏻👏🏼👏🏽👏🏾👏🏿

image Instagram.com/peterdevito

08/10/2020

Just a quick update on my business, I am open to take clients with November due dates and beyond so if you are pregnant and thinking about hiring a doula, now is the time to reach out.

07/24/2020

New technology debuting for babies who struggle to latch! So cool looking, I can't wait to hear people's experiences with it

The Bridge is the first easy-to-use, breastfeeding assistance system that helps babies latch to the breast and helps promote milk production. Supplement at the breast, which provides extra simulation and helps increase milk supply naturally with a single piece, ultra-thin, medical grade silicone, wh...

07/21/2020

Can you relate to these types of intrusive thoughts?

Things we don't talk about as new parents number 343 - those thoughts that just seem to pop into your head from nowhere where you imagine terrible things happening to your baby.

The good and bad news is that these are really common. Good as in if you actually talk about them, you'll find so many new parents have them. Bad because, you know... they're not exactly fun.

These thoughts usually are about your baby being harmed or you somehow harming your baby (often in bizarre ways). One mother told me about how she kept having thoughts about accidentally putting her baby in the washing machine.

Where do they come from? Most likely our exhausted, over thinking brains scanning every possible bad thing and making you think about it so you don't do it or make a plan should it happen.

This over thinking may help in some cases such as if you need to think about where the emergency exits in a venue are but most of the time our brain gets a bit mixed up and over excited and decides you're going to throw your baby out the window you just looked out of (yes another common one!).

So if you've had them, remember that they are really common and not a sign that you're about to actually do it, or some premonition of the future. Loads of people have them - it’s just not the sort of thing you post on social media or bring up with your new baby group mums over that first coffee.

If you're worried about them remember, they are just thoughts. Not a sign you would carry them out. It's your over vigilant brain being anxious. Try distracting yourself or pretending someone else is telling you they are having the thoughts - it helps put it in context that they aren't logical. Also, ask friends - I bet they've had them too.

07/19/2020

This is so important! I have my own theories but would love to hear yours as to why premature birth plummeted during coronavirus ...

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/19/health/coronavirus-premature-birth.html?fbclid=IwAR2X8eEpdDCbeuMdGJMNa6_E0v29oHkSjM_vVjlSkH92aXt1lDJTV38kVxE

Hospitals in several countries saw dips in premature births, which could be a starting point for future research.

06/15/2020

At least half of the actually discussed ones are also important though 💓

Tag an expecting parent/s. We need to have these conversations before the haze of interrupted sleep, recovery from labour and birth and figuring out breastfeeding happens. What else would you add you wished you discussed before baby arrived?

📷Maternal Mental Health Utah
🍂 For support in your gentle parenting journey get your copy of the new Autumn Issue 38 of The Natural Parent Magazine https://linktr.ee/TheNaturalParentMagazine 🍂